Did I just have a go at a person with Tourette's?

(107 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:23:58

Ok...

Was just queuing to get into the bakery with my friend's DS in his pushchair. A group of 4 people were in front of me. One of the females was talking really quite loudly and saying "fucking" "cunt" "twat" repeatedly. Her friends were laughing at her conversation. One of her friends then purposely knocked her bag off her shoulder. She responded by calling him a fat, four-eyed cunt.

I did get the red mist and asked her to please stop sounding her potty mouth off so loudly and said little ears are present, motioning towards friend's DS. Then she went "I've got Tourette's, you stupid cow" I did hmm face and her friend sheepishly backed her up and said that she did have Tourette's.

I really don't think that she did. My old boss had Tourette's and he didn't just swear in the flow of normal conversation. I could be wrong and if I am, I will feel shitty.

It's not the first time I've asked people to stop swearing around kids. AIBU?

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 14:08:02

Zebra, I am not posting to ask if IABU to pull idiots upon acting like idiots. I will continue to do so. The problem with this country is there are too many people like you who won't speak up when someone is making life uncomfortable for everyone else.

And children DO notice. My son didn't learn the plethora of swearwords he knows from me. They have all been picked up from stupid twats who can't cork their verbal diarrhoea.

pigletmania Mon 18-Mar-13 14:08:50

Yanbu if she did have Tourette's how were you to know. She sounds very rude and horrid

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 14:09:02

A violent response? I don't live in the Bronx, you know?

toomuch2young Mon 18-Mar-13 15:06:28

Ok... I have Tourette syndrome. Swearing tics are rare, and constant swearing is even rarer. My coprolalia (swearing) tics used to be frequent and obviously a tic. Though when walking down a street would often get angry comments from people, disapproving looks etc. however my response was always calm and educational and a lot of us carry cards explaining our condition.
Yes sometimes my friends do laugh at in context tics. Shouting ' it's poisoned' when being served dinner at a restraunt, or stopped by the security guard for announcing 'I'm stealing' rarely fails to cause a smile amongst close friends.
Sadly TS will often pick up on the physical features of a person, shouting 'fat' when seeing a larger person etc. however most of us feel awful about this, despite having little control over it, and are always apologetic.
I would also be doubtful of this girls TS if she had no motor tics. It's hard to deny I have TS as my heads jerking, nodding, arms flapping, blinking etc and these are far more common than the swearing.
TS destroys your confidence and security and often compromises your independence by making going out alone challenging and dangerous, many times i have felt threatened, laughed at or abused due to my tics. Equally people mimicking tourettes is an equal problem as it invalidates those of us that do have it and also causes offence to both touretters and non touretters alike.
For more info on TS don't hesitate to look at the tourettes action website.

INeverSaidThat Mon 18-Mar-13 15:16:17

I find a really polite 'would you mind not swearing' and a nod to the DC usually works really well. One group of extremely sweary boys on the train suddenly became very polite and apologetic, just like Harry Enfields Kevin and Perry.

thezebrawearspurple Mon 18-Mar-13 15:39:50

Marmalade; how would you like if a stranger lectured you on something you were doing that they felt inappropriate? People who mind their own business are not the 'cause of all the problems' in society, people who can't cause many problems for others. Whether it is disabled people or their carers who are harassed for acting 'inappropriately' because others can't see their disability, women who are harassed on the street because certain religious types are offended by their 'lack' of clothing, gays harrassed because people choose to be offended by them holding hands with their partner, etc...

Everybody is offensive to someone, you think you are free to limit another's words to only what you want your children to hear, the next arsehole thinks they are free to limit their childrens exposure to gay couples, female clothing that is not to their personal standard etc. You obviously live in a very non diverse area, if you had to be around a variety of people, you would understand that tolerance of all types is needed for a civilised society.

It is necessary to interfere/call for help if someone is being bullied, abused, endangered, it is not ok to declare yourself God and demand the right to dictate other peoples behaviour. You are the rude one and very silly if you think that living in a little village will forever protect you from a bad reaction to your rudeness. You just need to get the wrong person on the wrong day and if you do that often enough, your chances are very likely of learning that.

MrsReiver Mon 18-Mar-13 15:47:43

Off Topic Warning

I just googled Pete and he's getting divorced sad

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Mon 18-Mar-13 15:52:10

thezebra really??? Really really??? hmm

OP the girl was a twunk and you were right in expressing that small children shouldn't be listening to her filthy mouth...a bar of soap and water might do her some good....

LangenFlugelHappleHoff Mon 18-Mar-13 15:58:50

Also Thezebra if young people are not pulled up on poor behaviour, when are they going to learn that certain things are not acceptable in a social setting?

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 18-Mar-13 15:59:41

The thing is you don't know.

Something's are rare but they do occur,she could have had Tourette's equally as such she could have been acting up.

You don't know and you will never know.so as you go about your life correcting other people's behaviour try and remember that.

Nobody is obliged to spend their life educating others disability or not.

WilsonFrickett Mon 18-Mar-13 16:01:03

The zebra I am deeply, deeply offended by your comparison of someone asking a person to not use the c-bomb round their children with disablism, sexism and homophobia. They are not the same thing at all.

And I live in an extremely diverse area and I have often politely requested that people stop swearing around DS.

OP, YANBU and the swearer clearly didn't have Tourettes. Toomuch is right, saying 'I have Tourettes' when all you have is a potty mouth is a real issue for the people who do have Tourettes.

buggerama Mon 18-Mar-13 16:18:00

Zebra, you are making yourself look like an idiot. Now lets just see if there is anyone who agrees with anything you have said ....tumbleweeds......thought not

OP, well done, I would have done the same.

MrsDeVere Mon 18-Mar-13 16:29:28

OFFS

I am a right old liberal lefty (who is also adept as swearing) and I would certainly ask someone to stop swearing like a docker in front of my DCs or my elderly mother.
My kids because I don't want them repeating and my mum because it would upset her.

If everyone has a right to swear in public it must follow that everyone has the right to challenge them?

Two blokes were having a bit of road rage outside the nursery and fucking and cunting until I pulled them up with a classy 'OI! give a rest you are right outside a nursery!'

They did so and looked sheepish.

I have asked teens before and they are generally ok about it. Its better to ask politely because it is easy to get into a slanging match and that rather defeats the object, particularly if you forget yourself and start thowing in a few fuck offs yourself blush

MrsDeVere Mon 18-Mar-13 16:30:24

and thanks for that 2much.
smile

littlemisssunny Mon 18-Mar-13 16:40:51

You were not being unreasonable at all, well done for saying something.

There was a young lad on our train the other day on his mobile using fuck and cunt a lot but luckily the kids seemed oblivious so I didn't say anything as that might have made them start hearing the conversation.

I hate swearing in public but unfortunately you can't stop people doing it.

I first heard a swear word when I was in the end of primary school and was really shocked. My son first heard fuck in reception class, there is a boy who said it, I was not happy! But he knows that adults can swear if they choose to and if he wants to when he's an adult that's up to him, but he's not allowed to swear now.

BOF Mon 18-Mar-13 16:44:14

Zebra- is this some sort of comedy character you are working up for a show?

PaddingtonBearsDuffleCoat Mon 18-Mar-13 16:48:39

Perhaps those like the zebra poster need to know a bit more about the law if posting in the UK. Various Public Order Acts cover swearing and other offensive behaviour if it is in the sight or hearing of a member of the public or indeed a police officer. So you were not BU to ask them to stop. If a police officer was present they would have been warned about their conduct and if it persisted then they could be arrested.

Maggie111 Mon 18-Mar-13 17:22:45

I don't think it's reasonable to expect someone to modify their language for your child. You're lucky the response was only "I have tourettes". And it's ridiculous to try and work out whether she does really have tourettes. It's none of your business whether she has difficulties or is just a cunt...

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheChimpParadox Mon 18-Mar-13 17:50:05

We were in a restaurant once - well Nandos - with our children - family group right next to us, guy kept swearing in flow of conversation . I asked him not to. They continued with under breath comments etc at us and when they got up to go one of the women said to me that I had no right to say anything as he had Tourettess' plus she gave me a mouth full of abuse.

There is no way the guy had tourettes as like in Ops he was swearing in normal conversation.

MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 18:25:53

"The zebra I am deeply, deeply offended by your comparison of someone asking a person to not use the c-bomb round their children with disablism, sexism and homophobia. They are not the same thing at all."

This exactly. I think that Zebra is on a wind-up or very dense

LOL at "We were in a restaurant - well Nandos" grin

2much thank you for your insightful post. You sound like a really lovely person.

Sparklingbrook Mon 18-Mar-13 18:27:01

I have never been to Nandos. I thought it was posh. <irrelevant>

MammaMedusa Mon 18-Mar-13 18:30:09

Under Section 5 of the Public Order Act 1986:
"A person is guilty of an offence if he uses threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour, or displays any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting, within the hearing or sight of a person likely to be caused harassment, alarm or distress thereby"

I think the fact we still have things like the watershed on TV with things that can be said before or after suggests that there are some words our society deems unsuitable for children to hear.

I have asked teens before to pipe down, and have never had a bad reaction. I wouldn't do it just in passing, but if we're on a long tube journey so the kids are likely to hear it for a while.

quoteunquote Mon 18-Mar-13 19:16:39

I do agree with Zebra, you cannot expect people to desist their activities just because you find them offensive, as almost everything we do is offensive to someone.

it's not nice for your child to hear swearing, you can only ask someone to be considerate, or move yourself away.

MarmaladeTwatkins Tue 19-Mar-13 09:30:36

<rolls eyes>

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