To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

(327 Posts)
Damash12 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:07:46

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

Iaintdunnuffink Sat 16-Mar-13 22:53:50

If they ring your doorbell then you ask them to go around the back then you need to expect some expressions, confused or eye rolling. We have a shoe rack by the back door and a shoe cabinet by the front, they are for all our shoes. I wouldn't expect a guest to notice and then think its a clue that they should be using them.

If you want people to take their shoes off then ask, smile and turn it into a joke about how you're protective of the new carpet. Most people would understand. At some point the carpet will move from the new status so maybe you need to get some longer term solutions in place. Unless you're going to insist people always use the back door, which isn't a big deal, I know people who do this because it suits the house. Large washable runners and door mats? Get used to always reminding people? Seem of my friends always say please take your shoes off, it's fine. I don't bother because we have hard flooring downstairs.

JollyYellowGiant Sat 16-Mar-13 22:54:54

We don't wear shoes at home as none of us are comfortable in shoes. I point out to visitors though that we have no preference about whether or not they wear shoes.

I'm always confused when someone expects me to take my shoes off to enter their property. Seems pretty rude to me.

MrsMcEnroe Sat 16-Mar-13 22:59:54

I was recently refused entry to someone's house when collecting my DD until I'd removed my shoes - the husband literally stood in my way until I'd removed them. I had to step to the side to move around him, thus putting my socked feet right in a massive soggy patch on the carpet. "Oh yes," said the muppet dad, "our radiator burst, the carpet's a bit wet." Gggrrr!! I asked if I could borrow a pair of dry socks to go home in and he said no, and I quote, "we're a bit funny about feet." You don't say!
I am never removing my shoes in someone else's house again. Unless there's a genuine medical need such as reduced immunity of course.

Panzee Sat 16-Mar-13 22:59:59

Are the shoes placed underneath the barometer?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 16-Mar-13 23:01:49

Yabu

BackforGood Sat 16-Mar-13 23:02:34

YABU, rude, and inhospitable.
Get yourself a doormat. It's not rocket science wink

countrykitten Sat 16-Mar-13 23:08:22

It's rude - like, really very rude. We have no carpets as I can't stand the filthy things but even if I had them I would not dream of being so rude to guests.

countrykitten Sat 16-Mar-13 23:09:17

We do have the odd rug however and a vax carpet washer for when the dogs have trampled mud in - perhaps you should invest in one?

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 16-Mar-13 23:10:25

Are the shoes placed underneath the barometer?

grin grin grin

I don't give a shite whether or not people take their shoes off in my house.

I personally find it awkward. I wear big lace up DMs and unlacing and relacing is a good ten minutes. I'd probably just say I wasn't stopping, which would save any awkwardness.

sneezingwakesthebaby Sat 16-Mar-13 23:10:29

This thread has absolutely blown my mind! grin I can't believe its more rude to ask someone to take their shoes off than it is to tramp whatever is on the bottom of shoes that have walked through god knows what all over someone's house.

HerrenaHarridan Sat 16-Mar-13 23:11:28

Gah!

Fucking baffling!

Rude? To ask someone to take their shoes off in your house? If we were talking underwear I'd understand!

Personally I find it incredibly rude when people expect to be wearing their shoes in my house.

Not only do I have no qualms about prompting, I have no qualms about insisting.

You can wear your shoes in far enough to take then off without getting wet if it rains, or you can leave.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 16-Mar-13 23:14:10

Well that's mighty big of you, herrena

If I had people round to whom I felt I had to 'insist' on certain behaviour, I'd be wondering about myself and them.

FattyMcChubster Sat 16-Mar-13 23:14:56

I do not wear shoes in my house and always take them off in other peoples houses. I take socks to wear instead.
I think it's much ruder to wear your shoes inside.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sat 16-Mar-13 23:15:38

See, we all take our shoes off when we get home and put our slippers on or go barefoot because we are at home. I often change into my pyjamas too, but I wouldn't dream of demanding my guests do the same.

teacherandguideleader Sat 16-Mar-13 23:17:10

Another one shocked that it is rude to ask guests to take their shoes off, but not rude to trample whatever you have stepped in all over their carpets!

I was brought up that shoes come off in the house and come to think of it, virtually everyone I know is the same. To me it is normal. I ask people to take their shoes off if they come to mine, and will provide socks if necessary (I hate bare feet on other people's carpet so always take socks in my bag if I'm not wearing any). Myself and DP will often lay across the carpet watching TV - would rather know that we are not laying in a load of bacteria that has been walked in from outside.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 16-Mar-13 23:17:46

I never take my shoes off. My feet get cold and as I prefer tovwearctights not socks they often have a hole in the toe. Plus I'm not talk do trousers are too long if I have no shoes on.

Bugsylugs Sat 16-Mar-13 23:19:04

I hope you all provide something for your guests to wear socks on cold floors not acceptable. High risk behaviour for anyone with diabetes and all borrowed footwear would need to be hot washed to prevent fungal infection spread yeuk. Keep the shoes on

GreenEggsAndNichts Sat 16-Mar-13 23:20:35

Love a shoe thread.

We take our shoes off. DH is German and it's generally expected there, and I'm more than happy to have it that way. For everyday wear and tear and cleanliness, it's just easier. Also, I find it more comfortable to take my shoes off and relax.

If someone doesn't want to take their shoes off, it's fine. The only time I'd answer 'yes' if someone asked if they should, though, is if they had a particularly dirty pair of shoes on. Otherwise I just tell them to do whatever they're comfortable with. People I'm friends with enough to have over to our house socially know me well enough to know that I'm hardly precious grin and if I say it doesn't matter, I'm not just saying it to be polite.

FWIW, most of our friends are shoes-off in their houses, and I'm generally happy to follow suit. The only time I haven't is when I'm wearing knee-high boots with a skirt which I'm depending on for warmth and their house is chilly. smile Or if there's a BBQ and lots of to-ing and fro-ing from the garden, I can't be bothered changing back and forth (and wouldn't in my own home either, it would get a little silly).

That all having been said- OP you sound OTT with demanding people come in through a side entrance and give shoe offerings to the rack shrine. They are your guests. Find a way to get the shoe rack near the front door, and try to be more welcoming.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 16-Mar-13 23:23:10

If you insist on shoes off, what do you do if one of your guests has revoltingly stinky feet? grin

I went to a smart dinner party in London once, everyone dressed up to the nines, and the host greeted us with "this is a shoes off house, please take a pair of slippers from the basket by the door." So I sat there in my smart dress and tights with a pair of fluffy Ugg slippers on my feet. Most odd.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 16-Mar-13 23:23:29

When I was younger I went to a lot of stately homes (posh relatives) and my parents always brought baggies for us to wear over our shoes to protect the uber expensive carpet from the uber smelly cow pats just outside.

Maybe that could be the way forward?

Certainly a good compromise.

smile

BumpingFuglies Sat 16-Mar-13 23:26:53

Life

There it is
Help yourself to one

Xmasbaby11 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:28:23

For whatever reason, in the Uk, people do not take their shoes off automatically. You have to ask them. And be prepared for them to be a bit surprised.

KC225 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:31:23

I hate taking my shoes off when I go into people's houses. And to be honest, I'm quite prepared to brazen it out and pretend not to notice that I'm the only one wearing shoes. Unless I've been jogging through a swamp a good swipe across a proper doormat will do the job.

If you are that fussy (weird) about germs then don't invite people into your home

MrsKoala Sat 16-Mar-13 23:32:26

it always blows my mind that people expect guests to take off their shoes. My shoes are part of my outfit. They have been selected for a reason. Why would you have something put on your floor then not want people to walk on it? utterly bizarre. floor is the floor. it's a floor for walking on.

it reminds me of people who have plastic over their sofas and carpets grin

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 16-Mar-13 23:34:01

That's true lol. If I take my shoes off day on a long car journey if Imy feet are hurting everyone tells me for goodness sake put my shoes back on.

I do wash my feet lots - they just smell.

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