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about the size of my house?(136 Posts)
I own (outright, no mortgage) a three bedroomed terraced house. It's not a large home but it is a lovely one. There is a small garden, beautiful views and it's in a really nice location near parks and our little town centre - just perfect. However, my dad claims it's too small to be a 'family home
I wondered what sort of homes you all lived in ... ?
OP, our house is very similar to yours, though we still have few years left on the mortgage. We have 2 dc and are a little squashed, but happy in our home. It is well organised, cared for and decorated to our taste. And though it is small, it has everything we need. We have thought of moving from time to time, but are now glad we haven't saddled ourselves with a bigger mortgage in the current financial climate. So, the house is not a problem for us. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't see it like this. I have lost count of the number of times various friends, acquaintances and family members have felt compelled to comment on the size of our house. This ranges from "your house is so lovely, shame you'll have to move" to "I don't know how you cope in here, you really need more space". We have also had invitations to our home for a meal turned down with the explanation that it would be better to meet elsewhere so everyone has space. Whilst I have a thick skin most of the time, it does get to me every once in a while! I'm beginning to wonder whether other people are so bothered by this because they want to be friends with us, but in some way would like us to live up to some image/social status they are aspiring to themselves?
Trills I realise that many places - especially in rural areas - are very badly off indeed in terms of public transport. The underlying point is that, to me, being at home in an area is not just about the property I'm living in. It's about the community and its facilities. If you're planning on having a family, I'd want to think about parks, playgroups, nurseries, a local library, schools etc. Because one can feel quite alone with a new baby, it's also good to have neighbours, to bump into people you know as your're walking along the street. Many new housing estates don't have that sort of infrastructure because of the assumption of car ownership. So I might prefer to live in a less obviously desirable house in a thriving community, than an estate agent's dream a long way from anywhere.
IMO having the money free to spend on experiences such as holidays and days out is what will matter most your children when they look back. I don't think children care whether their house is a massive vicarage. They will remember the great times that you had and things you could do.
I think you are really sensible. Too many people push themselves financially to have houses they can't really afford. Your dad should be so proud that you are setting a great example of how to leave within your means happily.
That's called "more dependence on a car than you would like.
Not "total". Not by a long way.
Trills I live 4 miles outside a major city. There are buses into the city every 5 minutes and also good routes to other suburbs, the nearby town etc. This is absolutely brilliant for teenagers because they can find their way round independently.
Yes teenagers living in this particular private estate can get the single bus which takes them into town to go shopping, and get the same route to go home again. But apart from such trips their parents are probably chauffeuring them round a lot. Bikes would be possible, but some of the roads and roundabouts aren't that great. Walking into the nearest town would take a good 40 minutes and not be terribly pleasant. So one reason why I like living where I do is it's a place where my teenager and her mates can enjoy moving around independently, and get more savvy and streetwise when it comes to being used to the occasional drunk/drug users/person talking to her/himself on buses. If we lived out in the country or on the sort of posh estate I described above, our family life would be rather different.
3 bed house for me and DH. No way near enough space for us, but that is because we own too much rubbish.
Houses are only small if you have a lot of stuff. There's generally potential to downsize your stuff before compromising on other things.
My Dad always finds one thing to moan about when he visits, this week he saw DSs new bedroom furnished for the first time, his comment "oh doesn't his bed look tiny in here" "yes Dad it's a toddler bed and eventually he will have a bigger bed and more furniture in it" "I know but his bed looks so small"
We have just extended a 3 bed (1 tiny boxroom) into a 5 bed house. We have 4 DCs so they all have their own bedrooms now.
Last week he was telling us to knock a window through in the dining room. He's also always going on about the garden, yes it's a mud pit after the building work but we cannot afford the 2K or so it would cost to landscape it. We've also had a playroom put on the back, he was telling us to use it as a dining room, I was trying to tell him that as family a second lounge/playroom/toy dumping ground was a better use of it, no he wild make it a dining room.
He cannot visit without making some comment. I ignore most of them now.
Three bedrooms is fine and mortgage free is amazing.
Location is everything. 4 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment. Small, but within 2 steps of a swimming beach, cafes, a supermarket and across the road from a large park. 10 mins walk along a waterfront promenade to work. Wouldn't move for the world.
<snort> at one bus an hour being "total" dependence on a car.
People over 40/50 do still move house though so I think they do understand; whilst younger people struggle to get on the housing ladder we have struggled to be able to move to larger houses whereas our parents used to be able to start small and work their way up.
Interest rates of 15-16% and massive negative equity stopped a lot of people from moving to larger houses; price drops of some 30-40% were not unusual and so people were stuck in houses that they needed to move from but were forced into staying due to negative equity or they'd lose a lot of money.
Different times, different struggles.
People over 40, and particularly those over 50, had access to very cheap housing and have no clue about how expensive housing is these days. Generally speaking you can ignore absolutely everything they say on the subject of housing. Its a shame the government are all too keen to listen to their moronic NIMBY campaigns when they try to prevent housing being built for young families as freely as.it was back in your parents day.
Things like the size of the actual rooms, thickness of the walls, garden, nearness to schools, friends, public transport, local shops etc, age of the house would all come into the equation as far as I'm concerned. I think a family home is also about relationships, love etc - not just bricks and mortar. I dropped my teenage daughter off at what - to many people - would be a very desirable 'family home' i.e a 4 bedroom modern detached house in a private housing estate on the edge of an affluent town. And I just thought, 'This is my idea of hell'. (Total dependence on car - 1 bus an hour I think - no facilities, nothing for children to do there...)
Not all terraced houses are small. There are some truly giant terraced houses near where I live.
Terraced houses are small, ok for a small family.
OP... I had my DS as a single Mum by choice
well I had four bedrooms to fill and my Dad was dead against it and even did the 'she's not bringing the baby into my house' thing. It very nearly ended in my dis-owning of him.
Does the size of the house really matter to him ?, you say it was said to try and put you off. Is it the 'not doing things in the right way' that so many older people are stuck on ?
I was flabberghasted at the 'dont darken my doorstep' attitude of my Dad
and yes you Mum who didnt stand up for me, or tell Dad to button it. I was 40+ also mortgage free and just enough money to see me through. I think some of the older generation STILL see single parentdom something ..well to be ashamed off or at least it not to be wanted. You know, you can just about be a single parent through circumstances, but to choose it ?
As of this month, we own our 2 up 2 down with a garden across the road from us, outright.
With 4 of us and 2 growing boys who can not get on tp the point they can't be left together without close supervision we would love an extra bedroom! We'll have to start from scratch with a mortgage when we upsize, as this house isn't worth very much (which is how we cleared the mortgage in under a decade)
Your dad is being quite unreasonable, especially if you're only wanting the one child.
I think it's much better to downsize and own outright.
Before I had children I got the chance to relocate to a much cheaper part of the country, along with lots of my colleagues. They mostly took advantage of it and bought a massive house in the countryside but I stuck to the same size property and no mortgage. When interest rates rose in the early 1990s they were not so sure of the wisdom of their decision. I would have loved the large houses that they had though, the grass is always greener and all that.
Seems to me that there is already one person on this thread admirably demonstrating the quality of response to the OP's concern of marking a child out. If you don't like the thread, leave it.
I am about to move to a smaller house for me and my son so I can own my house outright. My dad has also started to ask how we will manage as he feels my present home is small. I always thought it was quite big for just the two of us, an extended 3 bed 1930's semi with 80 ft garden. Funny because their house is only a big bigger than mine!
It sounds really nice. If you love it ignore what your Dad says. I always think my house is far too small though people laugh at this because it's probably about average. But I have too much stuff.
It's easy to cut down on things though,and fit the size you have.
I was worried how I would do it when I had to,but,honestly,we don't need all the stuff we keep about us.
I grew up in a large 5 bedroomed house, we rattled around in it because I was an only child (parents didn't want children). Now I have a typical 3 bedroom semi but would love to have a detached house.
"i would sleep in the small room myself" not we and ourselves.
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