To let DD (12) dye her hair?

(68 Posts)
2kidsintow Sat 09-Mar-13 21:31:27

I'm having mixed feelings, personally.
Lots of her friends the same age have already done it. She's bought a non-permanent kit from asda that says it washes out after a few weeks. She's chosen a shade that will work well with her hair (naturally a lovely mid-dark brown - she's chosed a reddish shade that isn't too brash).

Part of me is happy to let her do it. I'm sure I was using non permanent dyes at her age or a year or so older.

Part of me doesn't want to. The packs now say that it 'isn't intended for use on the under 16s'.

LittleMissFantabulous Tue 12-Mar-13 16:43:22

I'd say no to hair dye. But that's me. Mind you, they used some hair mascara this weekend and it hasn't washed out of my middle one's hair. Pain in the bum >_< We'll be sticking to glittery hairspray next time they fancy being daftgrin

Graceparkhill Tue 12-Mar-13 16:06:38

I think anything non permanent ( if no allergies etc) is perfectly acceptable. Anything hugely expensive needs to be saved for but otherwise anything goes in my house.
I take the view that it is their hair and therefore their choice.

Mother2many Tue 12-Mar-13 15:55:53

Honestly, my sister use to let my nephew color his hair and he was 6 yrs old. I disagreed with her. She said, "It's JUST hair!"

True... It's not a tattoo, or piecing...etc. It's hair. Heck...even old people dye their hair weird colors...jmho... lololololol...

SOO...

I now let my children dye their hair too...! My daughter who was 6 dyed her tips bright pink once...and even had it streaked bright pink too. My son who was 8 dyed his hair blue...and then purple.

It's hair.

I will fight tooth and nail before they think of piercing their body though! Eyebrows/lips/tongue, etc...as many teenagers do!!! YUCK.

I was that sort of age during the days of shaders and toners and sun in.......in the mid 80's everyone walked round with orange fringes, even the boys!!

I can't see the harm in it....it's part and parcel of growing up and the non permanents ones should be fine smile

Yannah2006 Mon 11-Mar-13 10:08:18

I would (i've said my 7 year old can do it during the summer if he wants, terrible parent, me!) but it depends entirely on what the school's stance on hair dye is. I used to get in so much trouble for dyeing my hair bright pink or cherry red during term time and tbh, i can now see it's really not worth it!

Let her do it in the holidays if its a no from the school. I think it's great for kids to experiment with their look, it lets them explore their personality.

BodaciousTatas Mon 11-Mar-13 07:35:26

My dd who is 14 has her hair varying shades of purple, more dark in school holidays and during term a more purple/black shade.

The rule in my house is nails and hair are fair game anything else must be run past me.

Kaida Sun 10-Mar-13 19:20:02

TotallyBursar your hair sounds funky. OP, I don't see the problem though I would agree vegetable based dyes are better - currently have bright blue Manic Panic streaks myself.

loopyluna Sun 10-Mar-13 19:14:49

My 11year old had an allergic reaction to nit lotion a few years back. It was really scary and I'd be really wary of letting her put any kind of unnecessary chemicals on her head in future.
I also don't see the point at all hmm

Purplecatti Sun 10-Mar-13 19:01:56

I was allowed and will allow natural non permanent colours at secondary school until they leave. At sixth form and beyond hair is theirs to do what they want with.
Mine went all manner of crazy colours, it's a harmless form of self expression.

Crawling Sun 10-Mar-13 18:41:29

oops dye not die.

Crawling Sun 10-Mar-13 18:40:36

Someone mentioned hair extensions I would say no to that unless your willing to spend a fortune. I do hair extensions myself and I charge £200 and im quite cheap as I only do them now, for some extra money when I can get baby sitters to look after the dc.

I would let her die it.

So only those with low self esteem dye their hair? hmm

determinedma Sun 10-Mar-13 17:29:57

For me 12 is too young. Dd started doing hers at about 16.she got a tattoo at 18 while working in Spain.
Wouldn't have been comfortable with either of those at a younger age

dondon33, black was the only colour that survived the swimming pool and man did it survive!

I really don't care about hair dye, if it 'ruins' the hair then cut it short. Hair is temporary. If you are worried about chemicals then agree to just do a dip dye look.

Eh, both my kids have dyed theirs at that age. DS#1 has been black, blue, red, bright pink, purple black with ginger ends, black with blue ends. He is mousey blond/light brown normally. DS#2 bleached his hair blond (really liked that) and then dyed it blue to go to the olympics this summer. He was 11 at the time.

It didn't affect their schooling. School didn't care.

Floralnomad Sun 10-Mar-13 15:30:22

backforgood I don't think dying your hair at 12/13 is necessarily to do with self esteem , it certainly isn't in the case of my 13 yr old .

Trills Sun 10-Mar-13 13:43:24

My completely arbitrary rules are:

12: shaders/toners - stuff that washes out almost immediately
14: non-permanent colours - no bleach!
16: proper hairdresser dye - but only if she earns the money and saves up herself

OkayHazel Sun 10-Mar-13 13:36:21

Been dying mine since 12, its fine. And its been dip dyed pink and purple too, so so much for the natural colours theory. Its actually bleach/peroxide that does the real damage.

And I'm also sure, whether she goes to school or not, that the shade she has chosen is natural and therefore suitable.

Let her!

BackforGood Sun 10-Mar-13 13:07:38

I wouldn't be too keen (have dds of 14 and 11, so am 'there' in life). I just think there are so many things to be trying out in life at this young age, without getting in to the whole thing of 'wanting to look a certain way'. Fortunately dd1 (and 2 at the moment, although she's not 12 yet) have more self esteem than to have to rely on changing their appearance with dyes.
The positive thing is that she's talking to you about it, rather than just doing it herself of course, but, as you say it says on the packet 'Not suitable for U16s' I think your answer is there.

pixi2 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:57:48

I was dying my hair at 11yrs. Chestnut brown/red. Always wash in was out. Moved to semi permanent at 13 and was getting highlights at 16.

dondon33 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:54:50

I'd probably let her although from my own experience I'd say - once she starts it'll possibly open the door to wanting to do it more, it did me.
I didn't ask anyone the first time I done it at 13 - I went blue, my mums face was a picture when I walked back through the door, having left a mousy brown/dark blonde colour some 4 hours before smile
The bollocking wasn't too bad so I continued changing colours every few months until I discovered 'Sun in', some full bottle and an hour with the hair dryer later - I wrecked my hair sad I had to get it all chopped short and a gentler darker blonde put on it at the hairdressers until I grew all of the damage out.
I'm 34 now and have never had my natural colour since I was 13, I'm black now and due to the nightmare of getting that colour out, I probably never will sad

SirBoobAlot Sun 10-Mar-13 12:35:47

Do a skin test, if that's fine, then why not? I started dying mine at 13, it's been various shades of red ever since.

youfhearted Sun 10-Mar-13 12:28:33

i think the wash outs are fine, and would do my dd's, do do their hair in fact. although i often harp on about how I had to dye my hair myself when i was a teen.

qazxc Sun 10-Mar-13 12:18:48

Is the shade suitable for school? some school are funny about hair dye.
Make sure to do a patch test first.
Make it clear to her that you may be allowing this dyeing if the patch test turns out all right but that she must run any dyeing of hair by you first. My friends niece topped up her colour with a different hair dye and it went very, very wrong.
better than she do it in a controlled way than behind your back at a mates house (see above).
If you are unhappy with the semi permanent dye, could you compromise with a wash in/ wash out one that you both like? I used to use these when i was about your daughter's age and they aren't as hard on the hair (although beware getting caught in the rain)

Remotecontrolduck Sun 10-Mar-13 12:07:52

I think it's fine, it's only semi perm and not entirely different to her natural shade. It's natural to want to experiment with different looks growing up.

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