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to be a little bit surprised and annoyed at this?

(38 Posts)
Greydog Fri 08-Mar-13 18:39:04

Today I have been to a funeral for an old, dear friend. One of the so called mourners was taking photos of people at the crematorium. I couldn't believe it. And not discrete pictures either - full camera set up. It made me really angry - I felt it was so disrespectful. What do you all think?

The fact they have put them on Facebook is really inappropriate.

My mum took photos at her dad's funeral. A bit unusual perhaps, but it was her dad & she wanted to. She was grieving, so in my opinion could do whatever the hell she wanted.

I have photos of my Gran in her coffin, my mum took some too. We were both utterly devastated when she died, just wanted one last photo I guess. Daft really as it doesn't even really look like her.

IceAddict Sun 10-Mar-13 18:46:40

I have photos of close family together at a close relatives funeral but only 2 or 3 pics. Which i took late on when everyone had had a drink and were all reminiscing. I think it's a little odd to me to have a photographer or to put said photos on FB, but that is my opinion. A friend of a friend has pics of their stillborn baby as profile pics on FB. I was a bit taken aback as, if you go to search for the person to add as a friend you have no choice but to look at a baby that has passed away sad

Floggingmolly Sun 10-Mar-13 18:07:45

Another Irish person here shock. Never seen this in my life, and if I did I'd struggle to bite my tongue.

HollyBerryBush Sun 10-Mar-13 18:07:40

I've seen a funeral videoed but in fairness the children were very young (pre school) their father died at a young age, so it was done so they could see just how loved he was, because their memories would fade very quickly.

ceres Sun 10-Mar-13 18:04:40

mrs mushroom - i'm irish and in the trillions of funerals i've been to i have NEVER seen anyone take photos.

MrsMushroom Sun 10-Mar-13 16:59:34

Irish people and other cultures do this a lot. It's personal. You're wrong to call it distasteful.

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 10-Mar-13 16:36:27

I think its quite a nice idea, if its what the family wants and people are happy to have their photos taken.

Goldmandra Sun 10-Mar-13 16:27:34

I think I would find it comforting to have photos of a loved one's funeral to look back on.

It is a time when family members get together, not having seen each other for years for a start. It is also a time when I might not remember details I wanted to be aware of later.

However I think the photographer would should be very, very careful to make sure of the family's feelings and that they had express permission from those he was photographing. I can think of a few of our family who might hold back tears for fear of looking naff in a photo and that would be so wrong.

elliejjtiny Sun 10-Mar-13 16:14:17

If she ddn't have the family's blessing then it's unacceptable and rude. I have photos of DS4's funeral but that's only because I don't have many photos of him (miscarriage at 13 weeks) and also the hospital chaplain and the crematorium staff had made a huge effort for such a tiny baby and I wanted to remember that.

Who has "liked" the photos on facebook? The family or just randoms who know the photographer but not the person who died?

zukiecat Sun 10-Mar-13 16:01:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat Sun 10-Mar-13 15:16:28

Supposed to say 'who' not 'you' - stupid brain.

YouTheCat Sun 10-Mar-13 15:16:01

You would 'like' photos taken of mourners?

I'd comment and say you and others were quite appalled that this person was taking photos at a funeral where people were there to say goodbye to a loved one not pose for bloody pictures.

Greydog Sun 10-Mar-13 15:08:42

Don't think the family are aware. But there's already "likes" on FB. Sometimes I wonder of it's me! And then I read the kind posts on here. Thanks everyone

Pandemoniaa Sun 10-Mar-13 15:08:18

This may sound weird but, as a photographer, I have been asked to discreetly capture funerals. Sadly they have usually been of very popular people who have died relatively young (in their 40s and 50s). Now it would never occur to me to take a camera to a funeral but I've been contacted by the families beforehand and asked if I would mind taking pictures. Obviously I wouldn't put them on FB but what the families do is up to them since I wouldn't presume to know how they are trying to cope with their loss.

I'm sure FB would remove

LemonBreeland Sun 10-Mar-13 15:02:37

I would have to contact the person and ask them to remove the photos as they are disrespectful.

Funeral photos on fb is truly awful.

eosmum Sun 10-Mar-13 14:55:50

On Facebook! What do the closest family think? I still havent gotten over the shock of my sister sending my aunt a photo of my fathers remains in the hospice a couple of hours after he'd passed away. She was coming to see him in the funeral home the following day for the funeral.

Greydog Sun 10-Mar-13 14:38:07

Hi, Million, no they're from the N west of England - and yes - the pics are on FB today. Sigh.

thanksamillion Sat 09-Mar-13 07:30:56

Is the photographing friend from the UK? I only ask because where I live in E Europe it's totally normal to 'record' a funeral like this. In fact they do full on photos of the open coffin, often with the whole family standing round. We've been asked to take photos a few times but usually chicken out and give the camera to someone else because it feels so intrusive to us.

Greydog Sat 09-Mar-13 06:18:48

Magimedi - thanks for the flowers! Zebra - I think most people were too taken aback, and then concerned as we Brits often are, about causing a "scene"

TheFallenNinja Fri 08-Mar-13 20:01:41

I discovered my xsil had taken pictures of the mil in the open coffin at the chapel of rest. She was a real freak show about funerals. Loved them.

She is very ghoulish.

are you sure she hasn't been asked? horrible

BabyRoger Fri 08-Mar-13 19:43:30

YANBU.

Disrespectful.

thezebrawearspurple Fri 08-Mar-13 19:42:02

Why did nobody ask her what she was doing?

Magimedi Fri 08-Mar-13 19:40:52

YANBU

Totally out of order & showing no respect.

thanks for you at the end of a sad day.

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