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To NOT buy this toy for ds because it is a girl's toy?

(110 Posts)
Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 17:42:56

Ds is just over three and a half. He has a chart for good behaviour and a few small chores. Once his chart is full every month or so he gets to choose a little prize for around ten pounds. Since he started the chart a few weeks back the thing he has wanted is the my little pony train. And at the moment it is on offer massively reduced on amazon.
He likes trains. He likes ponies. In his mind it seems a good plan. However I am not so keen. Not because it is a "girls'" toy really (we have many toys that could be considered traditionally a girls' toy) and I firmly believe that children should be able to play with what interests them. Usually.
I'm just a bit concerned he may be laughed at by other boys. Ds has stayed home with me and only has a couple of sessions at nursery a week. Consequently he is less streetwise than many of the other children. I suppose when we have playdates I could put it away, but I can see him being so pleased with it that he tells everyone at nursery.

He is already a bit the odd one out because he is quite sensitive and quiet. I don't want to give them any other reason to consider him different. Sad that I have to think this I suppose.

Wibu to not get him this?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Tue 05-Mar-13 17:03:44

Blueballoon

Good post, spot on. I think we are all prone to projection

Jux

Yes, I think you are right about those with older siblings.

Sianilaa Tue 05-Mar-13 08:16:35

Oh and I did just buy a MLP for DS2 actually. He loves it!

Sianilaa Tue 05-Mar-13 08:15:51

I'd let him have it. My 3.5 yr old DS loves anything pink and sparkly and I love that he is too little to bow to gender stereotyping.

I'm completely shocked at the description of other 3 year old boys who are violent and use bad language. My two (5 and 3.5) still think "stupid" is the height of rudeness!

NewAtThisMalarky Tue 05-Mar-13 08:09:09

There's a bit of a my little pony subculture going on at the moment - my teenage daughter is into them, and there are quite a few teenage boys into them too - there's a lot of 'brony' t-shirts out there, which is the name for a male fan. The girls are called pegasisters.

He'll be the coolest kid in school (they just might not realise it)!

Sokmonsta Tue 05-Mar-13 07:40:41

I'm glad you've ordered him the toy he wants.

I think it's very easy to say as a parent to 2 girls and 2 girls to not worry about what the dc play with (ds is running around with a sparkly wand, dd is playing cars). But when you have only one gender it's very easy to fall into the stereotype toys, and also harder to explain away as the dc get older and have friends over who may not have such toys themselves.

exoticfruits Tue 05-Mar-13 07:24:07

I thought this was a joke thread! It seems pointless having the system if he doesn't have choice- -and I can't understand how you explain that he can't have it when there isn't a logical explanation.

My DS1 aged 3 loved anything pink. His FAVOURITE toy was a doll and pram. He had sparkly clothes. At age 5 his school bag was a pink glittery affair.
We had a little chat about the bag, and he said "but mum, you always told me that we don't all have to be the same and like the same things. So I like pink, not power rangers"

We lived in..well lets say not the nicest part of North London.
My ds1 carried that bag, along with a pink lunchbox and my little pony flask for over a year.
Nothing anyone said about it bothered him.

Oh and he is 14 now. Dresses entirely in hollister/addidas and wouldn't be seen with any other bag but his addidas messenger.
Plays football. But also is a "rising star" (his words) in the drama club.

Carrying a pink bag, pushing a dolly in a pram and wearing glittery trainers hasn't had a detrimental effect on him, 11 years later grin

OwllwOOwllwO Tue 05-Mar-13 06:41:39

My DS is almost 10 and collects them Monster High dolls. He doesn't pull their limbs off etc, he sits in his room and brushes their hair shock In fact I don't think he plays with his 'boy' toys. He's never been picked at school, after school or scouts.
He is currently growing his hair long. grinwink

AnneTwacky Tue 05-Mar-13 06:27:36

Get him the train. DD is obsessed with My Little Pony but also loves Ben 10 and Batman. They like what they like and that's fine.

Besides doesn't MLP have a cult male following anyway or did I just dream that.

Jux Tue 05-Mar-13 00:01:28

When dd was that age it wasn't necessarily the older 'streetwise' children who were mean and used terms like 'loser' etc, it was the ones with older siblings. The nursery were very active in getting the children to be nice and kind and on the whole it worked well. Does he have to go now? I mean, do you work so that he has to? Or could you just have him at home until he starts at a better place?

LinusVanPelt Mon 04-Mar-13 22:45:36

Good for you, OP - I'm delighted that your boy is getting his pony train smile

jollygoose Mon 04-Mar-13 22:42:05

my own ds aged 3 is as boyish as they make em and desperately wants a dolls house which he will have for his 4th birthday, a friend with girls has one and he loves it and why not?

countrykitten Mon 04-Mar-13 22:25:45

This thread has made me sad. sad

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 22:23:34

lahlee generally not in sparkly pink princess ponies that rife around on pink sparkly trains though. grin

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 22:21:41

giraffes we have quite a range of toys but actually no guns. Although ds fashioned himself one out of duplo grin

LahleeMooloo Mon 04-Mar-13 22:21:27

Yes because men are never jockies are they? Horses are so girly confused

hmmmhmmm Mon 04-Mar-13 22:21:01

my dh was terrified ds would be led toward being gay!
a - didn't happen and b - told dh was irrelevant as wit ever ds sexuality was fine(ds apparently heterosexual but dd come out as gay(both teens now) dh been fine with all this thank goodness !

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 22:20:08

There are issues at preschool (not just my perceived issues) and I'm not blaming ds at all. Just wondering if it will be the same everywhere.

When we went to the birthday party there was a game of musical bumps. Ds was vaguely distracted and was out first. To which a boy said to him 'ha ha, you're out first' and then made a loser sign at him and said 'loser'. He then proceeded to shout this at my ds throughout the party. He is four. This is what I mean by streetwise. My ds wouldn't do it, he wouldn't know what the loser sign was! I know it's just kids being silly but there is a definite little group of boys at preschool who have been mean for whatever reson.

On the upside I have ordered him the pony train. He will be pleased. Although I fear the plastic tat quotient in my house is about to increase.

giraffesCantDateDucks Mon 04-Mar-13 22:17:04

YANBU get him a big fuck off gun or sword with cars n shit on it. Blue of course.

Fakebook Mon 04-Mar-13 22:15:11

Don't then.

googlyeyes Mon 04-Mar-13 22:02:09

This is v topical for me! Today ds2 and I walked into Tescos and came out with the walking talking pinkie pie my little pony he's been begging for for ages now.

I think it's wonderful that he's so untainted by gender stereotypes (although i'm sure that will come!) Dd was convinced that he would be trying to rip its head off before long and bash it with his sword but no! He spend a happy afternoon brushing the pony's hair and generally doting on it....

chubbychipmonk Mon 04-Mar-13 21:21:47

I bet if you could sit in during an entire nursery session you would at some point witness the boys in the dressing up box & playing happily with handbags, fairy wings etc, or at some point pushing a pram, having a tea party & vice versa for the girls with the 'boys' toys. There is no discrimination at this age, they just seem them all as toys. Buy him his pony train & relax, the less of a big deal made about it the better.

FeckOffCup Mon 04-Mar-13 21:17:46

I would get him the train, I too understand where you are coming from with the teasing concerns (I was picked on because I was a bit shy and sensitive and never seemed to be into the same trends as my peers) but I would get him the train, he is still very young and will be disappointed if he doesn't get it when he was promised a treat of his choice for good behaviour.

blueballoon79 Mon 04-Mar-13 21:12:28

Having read the entire thread and reading that you were miserable yourself in childhood and that you're worrying about your son being different and being picked on I don't think the issue here is the toy at all.

My son was the same as a young child, very quiet and found it hard to make friends. I worried so much about him as I too had a difficult childhood and when you see all the other children tearing around together and having lots of friends it makes you feel sad.

My son is now twelve and still doesn't have lots of friends, just one or two, and he's still quieter than other children. BUt he's happy with this!

I realised I was only worrying so much because I was projecting my own feelings and insecurities onto his life.

Also, please don't think there's something wrong with your son. There's nothing wrong with him, he just chooses to play differently to the other children, nothing wrong with that or him.

What is wrong is the pre schools attitude to the bullying he's receiving. It's not just "boys will be boys" It's cruel and malicious and needs nipping in the bud immediately.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 04-Mar-13 21:01:22

Midnight

Are we not all being perfectly polite and reasonabl on here?

AIBU can be brutal, but I think we are having a reasonable discussion here.

<harrumph>

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