to be irritated by cousin's list of what to do with her baby?

(85 Posts)
MrsMushroom Wed 27-Feb-13 21:31:35

Baby is 9 months. I have had 2 of my own.

Cousin asked me to care for baby next week and has emailed a list of when she feeds and when to offer feed....she also lists when the baby watches some tv and when she naps.

I though hmm...ok...PFB, I'll offer the bottle/food when the list says...and if baby wont oblige then I'll just do as the baby wants and play it by ear.

But she has now asked me to txt her at each point in the baby's list...so eg baby has her bottle on schedule...I txt her to say it's happened. Baby naps on schedule...I text. I get that she is anxious but it's ONE day. Not even a full day!

Should I send random texts saying "Baby refused bottle, is having a rare steak on kitchen floor" and "Baby would not nap so is playing with neighbours children on path outside."

Or would that be too mean?

Yfronts Thu 28-Feb-13 13:24:37

tell her you'll send her one text when you get home but then only text her if there is a problem.

Yfronts Thu 28-Feb-13 13:26:54

At 9 months mine were all having a midday nap at 12. Everything else was relaxed but the sleep time was essential for my babies happiness.

BarbarianMum Thu 28-Feb-13 13:27:28

Thank her for the instructions and gently explain that you will not be texting unless there is a problem- frankly you will be busy enough. If she is not ready to leave her dc without this then she is not ready to leave him.

IloveJudgeJudy Thu 28-Feb-13 13:28:11

Agree with specialsubject. I never did this as, apart from it being before mobiles were everywhere, my argument was that if I didn't trust the person, then I wouldn't leave DC with them. If I trusted them, then I should leave them to do what they thought best.

In your situation MrsMushroom I would thank her for the list and say that you probably won't have time to text her as you'll be too busy with her PFB. I also agree with others who say that it will fuel her anxiety.

whistleahappytune Thu 28-Feb-13 13:31:15

I think she is a loon and incredibly anal. Hopefully she'll grow out of it. But it would be very nice and understanding of you to text her once (only once) during the day just to say everything's fine.

Chunderella Thu 28-Feb-13 13:36:37

Agree with those who suggest a couple of texts throughout the day just to let her know everything's fine. I've recently returned to work and DD has always been with DH or one of my parents. I have always had every confidence that she's well looked after and wouldn't dream of asking for texts to confirm feeds, but have appreciated getting a couple of updates throughout the day. Its a nice little highlight to hear what she's been doing. There's no harm in that surely?

Dromedary Thu 28-Feb-13 18:29:50

I'm surprised by this level of routine! As someone who never managed any routine of any kind, I don't understand why you can't just feed the baby when it's hungry and let it sleep when it's tired? If it asks to watch TV, then by all means...

MajaBiene Thu 28-Feb-13 18:43:22

Because if you don't know the baby well, it's easier to know they are usually hungry at 9am, eat/drink this, usually sleep at 11am etc then to just guess at what a crying baby wants.

Passmethecrisps Thu 28-Feb-13 22:06:50

Yep. I would just see it as a "if she whinges at x time it is likely that she will be hungry" sort of thing. At 15 weeks old I still need to leave these kind of instructions with my Dh if he is with DD. it makes sense when you are with then 100% of the time. I know I am a total PFB but I hate the thought that she might cry needing something when a simple clue from me would have helped

ChairmanWow Thu 28-Feb-13 22:19:42

Re the instructions she probably thinks she's helping you by giving you as much detail as possible so there's less disruption and therefore less crying and stress. My mum had my son overnight at 6 months and I left an incredibly detailed list. But my son has always thrived on routine and I kind of accepted my mum would deviate and DS would survive - it was just there in case he was going off his head and she couldn't figure out what to do. TBH I only called to make sure mum was coping rather than DS.

She's obv feeling anxious. I don't think she sounds like a loon. Find a compromise so she's not spending the day worried sick and you're not texting every time baby blinks. Use the list as a guide and maybe arrange a couple of calls at certain times so she knows when to expect to hear from you and isn't constantly checking her phone.

And if she turns out to be a nightmare tell her to find another mug to do it next time!

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