to be irritated by cousin's list of what to do with her baby?

(85 Posts)
MrsMushroom Wed 27-Feb-13 21:31:35

Baby is 9 months. I have had 2 of my own.

Cousin asked me to care for baby next week and has emailed a list of when she feeds and when to offer feed....she also lists when the baby watches some tv and when she naps.

I though hmm...ok...PFB, I'll offer the bottle/food when the list says...and if baby wont oblige then I'll just do as the baby wants and play it by ear.

But she has now asked me to txt her at each point in the baby's list...so eg baby has her bottle on schedule...I txt her to say it's happened. Baby naps on schedule...I text. I get that she is anxious but it's ONE day. Not even a full day!

Should I send random texts saying "Baby refused bottle, is having a rare steak on kitchen floor" and "Baby would not nap so is playing with neighbours children on path outside."

Or would that be too mean?

MrsMushroom Wed 27-Feb-13 21:46:56

LaQueen that's the height of evil! grin But I like it.

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:47:12

When she texts you, asking what's going on...just reply with 'What baby?'

made me LOL that did

MN044 Wed 27-Feb-13 21:47:34

Actually I don't think it's ridiculous. I have a 10 month old who is my third. I'd still expect and appreciate texts through the day if I left him with anyone. I've yet to do it (quite how I've not gone potty with sleep deprivation I'll never know) but I d othink it's normal to want some updates. And I have no issues with anxiety.

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:49:15

I'd had 2 babies, born 54 weeks apart...and could change a baby's nappy blindfold, one-handed, down a mine shaft at night.

parent at work today has 2 babies 1 nb other nearly a year she was feeding 1 and spoon feeding an other while drinking coffee I was impressed

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:49:29

the other*

Fakebook Wed 27-Feb-13 21:51:08

When I left my dd with dsis for the first time I wasn't anxious because I trusted the person I was leaving her with and knew she'd keep her dry, fed and happy regardless of bloody routine. Dsis also had 3 children.

I'd be irritated too OP. If you're good friends with her then send her the funny texts, but she may think you're taking the piss. Just text her the info she wants to keep her happy.

MariusEarlobe Wed 27-Feb-13 21:51:41

There was an brilliant thread on here a couple of years ago in which people admitted to doing stuff like this with pfb.
People gave pages long lists, it was brilliant.

countrykitten Wed 27-Feb-13 21:52:05

A 9 month old baby watching tv? I know that the general consensus on MN is that tv is a GOOD THING for children (yeah right) but isn't this a bit ridiculous?

LaQueen Wed 27-Feb-13 21:52:07

Agree with Erik by sticking to crazed, texting timetable, you're just feeding her anxiety issues...next time, she'll want a text with accompanying photo of said activity. Withi this type, more is never enough.

Needs nipping in the bud, with some kind and cheerful firmness smile

countrykitten Wed 27-Feb-13 21:52:56

Oh and text her - it's her baby and she will be anxious in case it has missed Eastenders

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:53:01

when I left dd1 with my aunt for the 1st time WE DIDNT HAVE MOBILES shock modern technology has made people demand updates and constant communication <leans of zimmer>

LaQueen Wed 27-Feb-13 21:55:40

mrs I eventually learned to change a nappy, on my knee. A very useful skill.

When I did it with new born DN, whilst conducting a conversation simultaneously and sipping a cup of tea...my SIL looked on in awe.

She was still at that crazed, sleep deprived, anxiety riddled stage, where every nappy change required the baby to be carried up 2 flights of stairs to the designated Changing Table fitted with very possible nappy-changing accessory known to man grin

Annunziata Wed 27-Feb-13 21:57:40

I think that if you text her this time, she will be reassured and more relaxed the next time.

MIL, on the other hand, has phoned me every night for 24 years to check DH has had his dinner. She has a problem. At 9 months?! Normal.

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:57:48

oh yes changing stations a really useful invention when you need to cart baby up 2 flights grin saying that I had 1 of those stupid top n tail bowls with DD1 dd2 got a wipe with a baby wipe

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:59:46

mrsmushroom answer with an erm yeah baby is urm fine wink sen d mum into a spin

MajaBiene Wed 27-Feb-13 22:00:18

The texting at every point is a bit much, but I would text an update every few hours.

I don't see what is silly about the schedule though - I always find it helpful when looking after a baby to have their usual timetable written down.

Zoomania Wed 27-Feb-13 22:04:54

I would do what she asks as it will help her relax and enjoy her day out. As another anxious mother here I have to say I find it much easier if I am out to glance down subtly at my phone and see a little message from my mum saying "baby fine just had nap" etc than constantly worrying and wondering and texting her to ask if everything is ok.

However I love your humorous texts and if she has a good sense of humour you could include those in brackets!

exoticfruits Wed 27-Feb-13 22:04:59

I would just tell her that no news is good news and you will text if a problem.

HildaOgden Wed 27-Feb-13 22:07:37

Annunziata,you must have the patience of a saint!!!!

MrsJay,I must be as ancient as you.there was none of this constant checking before mobile phones were commonplace,people just got on with things and if they didn't hear anything ,they assumed all was well.Definitely a less stressful way to live.

Sinkingfeeling Wed 27-Feb-13 22:12:50

Ha! When we looked after our nephew at 2 years old, SIL emailed me a 3-page list of instructions in advance which included the lyrics to various CBeebies songs which had to be sung at the right moments through the day - brushing teeth time, story time etc. Obviously we ignored it but it gave us a good laugh at the time. grin

LaQueen Wed 27-Feb-13 22:13:12

I'm an old gimmer, too. I would just assume that 'No news, is good news'.

Not entirely sure why this need to have constant updates? I actually think this feeds into the anxiety issue. Because an update might reassure you for a while...but, then what if there's a slightly longer gap before you get another text? You're then checking your phone...fretting, thinking 'Well, the sitter has been texting on the hour, every hour...but now it's been an hour and 10 minutes what's going on...and so it goes.

It's self perpetuating. Because you seek constant reassurance, and get it...you never learn that actually a half day/whole day can pass with your child being cared for by someone else and actually everything was absolutely fine smile

One of the Mums at the DD's nursery took her DD away, because the NN's (politely) refused to call her on the hour, every hour with an update.

apostropheuse Wed 27-Feb-13 22:18:41

oh good grief - texting updates? I've heard it all now.

You could have great fun with it though.

Baby napped for one hour and 23 three minutes. Baby woke up. Did not fall off couch. All good.

Baby ate cat biscuits. Cat didn't mind. Dettol didn't sting scratch. All well.

Baby refused lunch. Cat biscuits are filling. All Fine.

YANBU to be irritated by it but YABU to suggest sending "joke" texts. Yes she's being pfb but I expect she's just very anxious at leaving her baby. Just do it, it'll be easier for her if she gets the text updates and it only takes a minute to send one. Very kind of you to look after her baby for her.

I don't think it feeds the anxiety. When I was in labour with DS2 I left DS1 with a friend, dropped him off at 1am (really nice of my friend to take him at that hour). She sent a text an hour or so later to say he was fast asleep and settled, I could then stop worrying about him. She then sent another text at about 8am saying he was up, had breakfast and was a bit quiet but seemed ok. I didn't ask her to text but it meant that I wasnt worrying about DS1 while I was in labour. It was only the second time he'd been babysat though and I thought he'd keep her awake all night and not sleep! DH picked him around midday so in 12hrs she sent 2 texts, don't think that's excessive and was nice to know he wasn't screaming for me or keeping her up all night.

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 22:33:22

Hilda l laqueen it was easier you just went out and came back usually to a sleeping baby you couldnt get in contact with the babysitter in the dark ages you just went out did what you had to do then came back ,

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