To not want to leave my 5 week old??

(70 Posts)
wifey6 Tue 19-Feb-13 10:13:31

I am currently 21 weeks pregnancy with DS2 & my whole family has booked a day out 4+ hours drive from home at a theme park when my DS2 will be approx 5 weeks old. My DH will have our DS who will be 3 & our 5 week old to care for from early hours til late the day we go. I do not doubt his capability but I really do not want to go & leave my DS2 5 weeks after having him. My DSis has made it clear I ABU but I do not think I am. Am I being a bit precious about leaving my baby?

<Waves to gimmie>

wifey6 Tue 19-Feb-13 22:03:24

Aww thanks everyone for your kindness today.
I will be popping on to the BF boards, thank you for the info.
My sisters do know my intentions to BF, & the 'express before you leave' comment did baffle me as I know it would need to be more than just one expressed bottle.
Haven't heard again from my sisters but my DH said he was proud I finally stuck up for myself & although he didn't want to try & put me off, he was worried it would all be too much physically as well as emotionally to leave baby 4-6 weeks post-birth.
So we've decided to do something at home that day, special lunch or something & just keep it calm & relaxed.
I think the first few months are vital for adjustment, bonding etc & I want to help my boys bond, as well as us all as a family.
And running off to a theme park is not my idea of how to do it. smile

gimmecakeandcandy Tue 19-Feb-13 21:52:39

Good for you to standing up to them! If you are attempting bf this time, try to stick to the boob for the first couple of months, let baby learn how to suckle as bottles may confuse him. Get as much support as you can and seek out your nearest bf clinic etc. good luck! Try the bf boards here too x

lagoonhaze Tue 19-Feb-13 21:47:23

WSS ^

womanly art of breastfeeding for some reading and ignore their attempts to derail your breastfeeding journey.

Aw, op you sound lovely. What peppermint said re feeding btw.

Don't consider expressing too early. Feed on demand. It will be loads. That's how it is. It will pass. Put your eldest in front of tv when feeding, get them drinks & snacks before you start.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking you're not producing enough. That is very rarely the case. The more you put them on the boob, the more milk you produce.

Good luck, don't let their envy derail your lovely intentions.

PeppermintCreams Tue 19-Feb-13 21:32:36

It's not the fact you would be leaving your newborn baby. It's the fact that you will still be recovering from birth 3-6 weeks previously. Bleeding, c section, etc. Sitting in a car for 4 hours each way will put you at risk for DVT.

As for breastfeeding - They don't advice that you express milk until well after feeding has been established (At least 6-8 weeks?) You need to be feeding on demand (and no formula) until then to get your body making enough milk to feed baby.

As for your sisters, I'm sorry to say that I think they are deliberately trying to sabotage things for you. (Have you told them you are planning on breastfeeding?) I would keep them at arms length until baby's 1st birthday feeding has been established.

Good luck. P.S. Check out the feeding board for advice on breastfeeding. smile

thebody Tue 19-Feb-13 17:36:50

I am always amazed at the amount of intimidation that goes on in RL of new mums.

Tell them all to fuck off love... I wouldn't have dreamed if leaving any if my babies until I CHOOSE TO!!

Remember NO THANKYOU or alternatively FUCK OFF...

Pigsmummy Tue 19-Feb-13 17:29:48

Just say no. Stay at home with baby

ohforfoxsake Tue 19-Feb-13 16:38:49

I'm pleased you said no. IME the first six weeks should comprise of little more than feeding and gazing. Teeth cleaning and showering desirable.

Trips to theme parks?? BAHAHAHAHAHA!!

No.

wifey6 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:31:51

Thank you all again...see all of you understand. I feel so much better & confident about handling it now.
I think they might feel if I don't do what they say then I may be judging their choice/decision, but then there's also a part of me that feels that they just want me to follow whatever they do to normalise it,if that makes sense.
My sisters have all formula fed their babies, I couldn't physically manage to feed my DS so really hoped to establish it this time & I feel they think (due to comments they've previously said) I'm one of those precious mums for wanting to be with my DCs as much as possible, BF & put them first. As there DCs have to fit in to their life,(not that I think that's always a bad thing) as I like to put my DCs needs paramount above my own.

DizzyHoneyBee Tue 19-Feb-13 14:27:45

YANBU, they have invited you but maybe they have not thought it through. Say no if you want to (I would too) and if pushed explain that you will be breast feeding and that bottles are not recommended until breast feeding is established.

It must have been a long day, I first read your post as you were 21 weeks AND had a 5 week old confused blush

OTTMummA Tue 19-Feb-13 14:20:12

Are they being bitchy because they think you are judging them for leaving their children?
Not that I think you are op, it's just really beyond my comprehension as to why they feel they need to bully you and try to belittle your decisions and then bitch about you when you don't back down!

Either way, glad you stuck up for yourself smile fo it more often.

Pandemoniaa Tue 19-Feb-13 13:46:44

Well done on turning this ludicrous trip down. It does come across as a very rather weird outing anyway. Apart from anything else, that amount of time away from your baby would have left your boobs liable to explode!

Ignore any bitchy messages. YANB at all U!

Yfronts Tue 19-Feb-13 13:35:56

Your Sis is thinking of herself and not you or the baby. You need to be resting/sleeping/recovering/feeding/bonding. If you are breast feeding you will only be establishing it and will probably struggle to express at 5 weeks. Did your Sis formula feed by any chance? They don't seem to have a clue.

If they really want you to have a lovely happy day, they could cook a meal for you, clean your house and play with your toddler, then hold the baby while you sleep for a couple of hours. They should be supporting you in early motherhood, not haranguing you into what sounds like a horrid teenage day out!

DontmindifIdo Tue 19-Feb-13 13:18:44

ooh, but on the day, make sure you do go out somewhere/have people over and cover your facebook with photos of your new baby and lots of comments about how much fun you are having as a mum of 2...

DontmindifIdo Tue 19-Feb-13 13:17:54

yay! Ignore - if they stop talking to you, all the better!

wifey6 Tue 19-Feb-13 13:06:36

babies grin tell them to chuff off! I love that smile
Have had no other message from them since the bitchy one..but do you know what, for the first time- I don't care. My life, my DCs, my family x
Who would think the power of MNetters could be so powerful. smile

DontmindifIdo Tue 19-Feb-13 12:52:10

Oh theme parks aren't supposed to be fun for anyone who is both physically and mentally above 18!!! Why would anyone put themselves through that when they are in tip top physical shape is odd, throw in still bleeding and recovering from birth (let alone having to leave their DC) is insane.

Your sisters don't sound nice. Ignore, and ignore all other parenting advice from them, if they would leave a 5 week old to go to a theme park they have basically put themselves in the "talking shit" group of people who'll give you helpful advice so don't listen to anything they come out with.

YANBU c section. Expressing for a 5 week old baby? Not likely. You'll have little sleep. Section or not, your body will still be recovering. Tell them to chuff off.

ddubsgirl Tue 19-Feb-13 12:42:50

If u had a c section you couldn't go on the rides anyway let alone walk around a massive park your sisters are stupid,enjoy your new baby xxxx

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 19-Feb-13 12:27:32

Good for you Wifey, hes your baby and only you decide when your ready to leave him for extended periods. Why would you want to go on all those rides 5 weeks after giving birth, selfish tits.

Isityouorme Tue 19-Feb-13 11:38:39

Good for you! Wtf would you want to go to a theme park 5 weeks after having a baby ..... Imagine engorged boobs on a roller coaster ..... Ooowww! They are being arses, not you!

Emilythornesbff Tue 19-Feb-13 11:28:13

Yay. Good for you.

Emilythornesbff Tue 19-Feb-13 11:26:28

Oh goodness.
"no thanks. Have a great time"
Good luck with your new baby.

wifey6 Tue 19-Feb-13 11:22:48

Thanks everyone.
Called DH to tell him I'd finally told them! smile
I'll enjoy that day even more now with my DCs & DH knowing that I did the right thing.
It's been worrying me for a few weeks now & I feel a weight has been lifted.
Onwards & upwards & no more being bullied grin

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