To think that a 7 year old can be expected to

(106 Posts)
Verycold Thu 14-Feb-13 23:01:47

Be quiet during a show. And even if it is a show mainly for children, you still shouldnt chat all the way through it as if you were in front of your telly at home.

Catchingmockingbirds Fri 15-Feb-13 09:43:27

I disagree bumping, I think that sadly bluebirds comment was quite accurate from what I've seen of mn over the past few years I've been here.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Fri 15-Feb-13 09:49:50

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roundtable Fri 15-Feb-13 09:56:16

I think yabu. Seven years old is only the top end of the infants. They're still very little. Especially if the child was chatting excitedly about what he was watching.

Bit different if he was shouting and swearing and throwing things around, which I doubt.

I would expect most 7 yr olds to be able to manage being quiet for some of it at least. But yabu to expect to go to
A kids show and it be quiet! I really would like to know the secret to all these perfectly behaved children cos I've missed a trick clearly

And as for SN children well that could have been any one of us or any one of our children and that two hours you have to put up with- well the mum has it 24/7 and shouldn't have to keep her child locked up every day just in case they offend some one.

There will always be kids who will behave there will always be kids who's parents allow them to disrupt a show and there's not one thing anyone can do except do their best to bring up their own children and be grateful that that day was someone else's bad day and next time it could be your turn! oh and buy the DVD

And as for cinemas adults r just as inconsiderate if not more so and if you don't want kids chatting go to a later show when they won't be there.

frillynat81 Fri 15-Feb-13 10:13:16

I find going to see a 15 rating horror with teenagers behind me far more irritating that going to see a kids movie with 2 or 3 young kids. I'm going to see Wreck It Ralph with my wee boy today and he's so excited he's almost weeing himself so its inevitable he will be fidgety and chatty but probably no more so than any other kid there and not to the stage where I will be on his case to be quiet non stop.

TBH, I get FAR more pissed off at parents who buy their spoilt brats big flashing toys during children's performances, that distract from the show, and send my 6yr old child with ASD into sensory overload causing him to jump up and down and flap, when he can usually cope with a 3 hour classical concert at the Royal Albert Hall.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Fri 15-Feb-13 10:17:50

I agree with bluebirds & catching, sadly.

YouTheCat Fri 15-Feb-13 10:28:02

I agree with Frilly. Teens are way more annoying.

I'd expect a 7 year old to know to whisper occasionally. I'd also expect people with SN children to know their children well enough to know whether they can cope with being in a large cinema. I've never taken my ds who has ASD to the cinema as it would have been a total overload for him and I would have had to take him out before the adverts ended. I did take him to a live Thomas the Tank show once when he was about 9. He coped really well for about half of the show and then indicated that he wanted to leave and so we did. To stay longer would have meant a full on meltdown.

I think if you're going to a children's film then there is going to be a certain amount of shuffling and talking and it is par for the course, whether children have SN or not.

ouryve Fri 15-Feb-13 10:29:13

I would expect most 7 year olds to struggle for a whole 90 minutes.

Heck, I haven't been to the cinema for years, but when I did go, pre-kids, it's was films with a mostly adult audience and the sound of rustling, shuffling, clattering and whispering was pretty distracting then. If so many adults can't sit in silence, it's not unexpected that some 7 year olds, whether with SN or not, would struggle.

BumpingFuglies Fri 15-Feb-13 10:32:23

Bluebird - Bumping - I think that fact that you consider me 'unduly harsh' for challenging disablist comments

No, I said your conclusions about MN attitudes to SN are unduly harsh. That's my experience of the forum. I have seen a lot of support and not just in the SN section.

Cardi's comment was ill-judged in my opinion. It has inflamed things.

cardibach Fri 15-Feb-13 10:34:07

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cardibach Fri 15-Feb-13 10:35:42

ANd Bluebird I have just seen your comment. I am NOT disablist and nothing I said could be construed as such! I am reporting your comment.

QuanticoVirginia Fri 15-Feb-13 10:35:42

I would think a 7 year old would find it difficult to sit in complete silence for a couple of hours, yes

I don't think an average 7 year old could be expected to keep quiet, no

shock shock shock

Really???? Then my children and most or their friends must really be exceptional then??? They would never dream of chatting through a film because that's what they've been taught. The odd pertinant question yes but if they're chatting then they're obviously not interested in the film and should be taken out as it's not fair on the others around them.

silverfrog Fri 15-Feb-13 10:39:55

oh god, starlight - th flashy things at children's shows now. when did it become the norm to have those shoved in your face each way you turn?

I really don't understand why anyone would think it a good idea to let their child have something that is going to distract a good few people around them, for the duration of the show - surely you've gone there to watch a show, not play with toys?!

hazeyjane Fri 15-Feb-13 10:39:58

I did read your post properly,

it is unfair on others if your child's particular SN mean they spoil the event for everyone else.

so what should someone do, if they have a child who has sn, who fidgets and makes noise, that might disturb someone else?

cardibach Fri 15-Feb-13 10:41:54

I have looke din detail at comments about me based on my suggestion that
a) we shouldn't assume any child behaving inappropriately has SN; and
b) parents should make an effort to ensure their children do not spoil expensive treats for others.
I have no idea why people consider this 'disablist' or even 'ill judged'. It is merely about respect. Which I do give to everyone I meet, despite your comments about me.
I aslo agree with Quantic. I would expect a NT 7 year old not to cht ale the way through a film, and I would expect this because most of the 7 year olds I have ever met could do so.

DameMargotFountain Fri 15-Feb-13 10:42:28

YABU, i would expect children to act like children during a child's show, not matter what their specific need was

anyone seen the OP recently?

mrsjay Fri 15-Feb-13 10:43:36

I had 3 old dears singing at Les mis should i have told them to behave there was also sniffing then applauding,

cardibach Fri 15-Feb-13 10:43:39

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hazeyjane Fri 15-Feb-13 10:44:40

so, I'm sorry, but what would be your suggestion, for what a parent should do, if their child is being 'disrupting'?

CoteDAzur Fri 15-Feb-13 10:45:48

7-year-old children can be expected to stay quiet during a show. It depends on how you have raised them to behave in such circumstances, assuming they have been going to shows from a much earlier age.

I took DD to the opera last weekend. She was very quiet during the whole three hours of it, whispering a few times to ask for water and towards the end, ask if it was going to finish soon. I'm not boasting - this is perfectly normal for children who are used to participating in such events and know what is expected of them.

BumpingFuglies Fri 15-Feb-13 10:46:32

Ill-judged Cardi because you are suggesting people simply do not take their SN children to such things BECAUSE of their SN.

auntevil Fri 15-Feb-13 10:46:54

it is unfair on others if your child's particular SN mean they spoil the event for everyone else.

That is what upset me.
A general performance is for all in society.

hazeyjane Fri 15-Feb-13 10:47:48

Oh sorry, crossposted.

What would I do?

I would do what I do do, and what I teach my children to do, which is to accept that some people may make noise or need to move when they are in an unusual situation (be that a cinema, theatre, cafe....any public space), that everyone is different, and that we as a society need to learn to accept difference.

scrappydappydoo Fri 15-Feb-13 10:49:03

I think its all to do with how the parents are handling it. I'm far more tolerant if the parents are making any attempt to manage the situation whether its just telling the child to whisper or be quiet or taking them out. What winds me up is when children are being disruptive and their behaviour is being ignored by the parent but tbh I rarely see that happening.
To answer the op - I expect both my 5yr old and my 7yr old to sit quietly through a film or show and not disrupt others around them and they do.

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