To feel completely different towards dog since having DD

(171 Posts)
Geekster Fri 08-Feb-13 19:10:05

We have a dog who we have always adored. But since we had DD last year, we feel different about her. We still really like her but not in the same way and sometimes she's a nuisance like trying to get DD's food. Don't get me wrong we would never hurt our dog or want anything bad to happen to her, and there is no way we would get rid of her. I always thought I would never feel like this, but do since we had DD. The dog has been good with DD though obviously we never leave them alone together. We will still be very upset when she dies but not distraught like we would have before DD. It doesn't make me a cold hearted bitch feeling like this, or does it?

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 20:14:26

Oh get over yourselves I explained why I gave my cats away. Stop jumping up and down at how terrible a person I am grin

NuzzleMyScratch Fri 08-Feb-13 20:16:16
ilovesooty Fri 08-Feb-13 20:16:41

I can still feel disgusted by your reasons and say so if I want.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Feb-13 20:16:51
Bowlersarm Fri 08-Feb-13 20:17:52

That's a great rounded post Norbert. I can't imagine wanting to rehouse my dogs but to be fair I didn't have babies and dogs at the same time.

Sparklingbrook Fri 08-Feb-13 20:18:07

Ooh Nuzzle Sparkling Cat sometimes tries to put her nose in my mouth when i am asleep. She is stealing my breath. shock <rings Cats Protection for immediate pick up of cat>

calandarbear Fri 08-Feb-13 20:18:38

This is why I didn't get a pet until after we had children, it is common I think for animals that have been treated like bsbies to become just the cat or just the dog.
Our cat is six months old and is everybodies baby, even my three year old talks to her and treats her as if she is her baby.

MummytoKatie Fri 08-Feb-13 20:20:34

Never mind about pets - to a certain extent I feel that way about dh!

I still love him but if he died I would be very very sad but cope. I can't imagine coping if dd died.

And pre dd I would have run into a burning building to save him. Now I wouldn't as I wouldn't risk leaving dd with no parents. (And I'd be pretty annoyed if he ran into a burning building to save me.) Plus I'm carrying soon-to-be-ds. And I wouldn't risk him.

Oh and don't get me started on the whole "Jin chose to drown with Sun" thing on Lost. How selfish and irresponsible can you get? angry

Pre dd I'd have thought it really romantic! (I do know it isn't real!)

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 20:22:05

You most certainly can ilovesooty. However, disgusted is a very strong word and I would like to think it's used sporadically and for better reasons.

ilovesooty Fri 08-Feb-13 20:25:17

Ah, you see, that is where we differ. I think "disgusted" is a totally appropriate word to describe how I feel about the act of acquiring animals without looking at the long term picture, and getting rid when they cease to fit into a changed lifestyle.

stubbornstains Fri 08-Feb-13 20:28:02

Katie

This is why I waited to get a DP until after I had DS grin

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 20:30:16

Let's agree to disagree then huh ilovesooty.

I passed them on to a better owner that could given them the attention that they required, which is very acceptable from where I sit.

I was, if you look at it reasonably very responsible in doing this.

WaitingForPancakeDay Fri 08-Feb-13 20:31:06

I love my dogs as much as I did before I had DD and I love to see them play with her. I also really appreciate any time alone I have with them. I can understand your point of view but I find it a bit sad.

Bowlersarm Fri 08-Feb-13 20:33:53

Katie but that's different. I would die for my DC's but not my DH or my dogs. But it doesn't change the fact that you have a huge responsibility towards dogs/cats that you have before you chose to have a baby

prettysunset Fri 08-Feb-13 20:34:37

We're obviously very odd! Babies arriving realised how much we loved our (3 years old when first DC born) lovely dog for her simplicity, patience and undemanding love for us! Her acceptance of the new arrivals made us love her even more.

MrsDeVere Fri 08-Feb-13 20:36:25

YANBU.

I adore my pets but after having DD I did feel differently about my lovely, lovely dog.

I kept him and he went on till the grand old age of 19 so he didn't exactly pine away.

This bit makes me a bit sad but it didn't last long.....when i am pregnant I go right off my dogs sad. I don't like them near me or on the furniture at all. I think it is because my sense of smell goes haywire and it leads on from that. I look at them and think 'urggh dirt'.

Luckily it wears off not long after the baby is born. I am not having anymore babies sad so the dog (and the new one I am getting tomorrow squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!) are safe from my raging hormones.

I have never had DCs without also having a dog/dogs. We all rub along ok.

MrsDeVere Fri 08-Feb-13 20:39:55

Cats mugging babies for their milk?
Is that like the swans that can break a man's arm?

I know how you feel. My dogs were my babies before the real thing came along.
And now they just get in the way and are a chore. That makes me really sad and I feel very guilty but why with the awful weather I havent been able to get out much with baby dd and them and they bring muck into the house so they are pretty much living in the utility room and the kennels.
It's a tough one I do sympathise and I know you'll feel guilty like I do but kids come first I guess. hmm
I will make it up to them in the warmer weather when we are out and about lots. Til then they run about in our fields by themselves most of the day so it's not all bad.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 20:48:17

Who said they were muggers? Bit of a strong analagy there MrsD.

It was all over the news when I fell for my DS back in the dark ages that it happened and I didn't want to take that risk. Simple as that. Oh and apparently their shit could make a baby blind.

Out went the cats.

FeckOffCup Fri 08-Feb-13 20:52:23

I know exactly what you mean OP, I am fond of my cat and I would be upset if anything happened to her but she is not the focus of my attention the way she once was. I used to worry if the cat didn't come in when I thought it should, now I think well it'll come back when it feels like it (which it always does).

Geekster Fri 08-Feb-13 20:53:54

I'm back, was putting DD to bed and having a bath. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's feelings have changed. Reading the replies have made me realise its not too heartless to feel differently. I still love my dog, we still take her for two walks a day and make a fuss of her. Our DD adores her. Feel sorry for our dog as she is twelve and isn't getting a peaceful old age as DD likes trying to grab her fur. Obviously we don't let her and are trying to teach her to be gentle with the dog.

Bowlersarm Fri 08-Feb-13 21:03:19

You're still sounding heartless Clipped probably more so as it was just hearsay

DizzyZebra Fri 08-Feb-13 21:04:12

Animals are a pain with kids, but it gets better as dc get older.

ilovesooty Fri 08-Feb-13 21:04:36

Absolutely, Bowlersarm

It just sounds callous to me. Pets as disposables.

FernandoIsFaster Fri 08-Feb-13 21:06:10

Mrs DeVere - I was totally the same while bf. I adore my dogs but couldn't stand them near me while feeding dd, they suddenly just looked so dirty somehow!

I don't think YABU op. I felt totally the same about my two much loved dogs. Now they are just pets rather than babies and although they are still loved and looked after well they are definitely not as central to our lives as they were. I think that's normal though, and probably as it should be. I think lots of animals are turned into babies and it's not good for them really.

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