to think my cousin is being a totally selfish cow

(84 Posts)
MrsBucketxx Mon 04-Feb-13 07:11:50

bit if a back story my uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 6 months ago, and they really dont know how long he has to live etc. (probably about another year at best)

his daughter over christmas go engaged, I thought how lovely she will make it soon so her dad can walk her down the isle even if its a small wedding.

but no she is going to disney to get married in two years ensuring her dad wont be there, as he wont be able to fly even if he is still alive etc.

aibu to think this is really. selfish, denying a dying man of this.

Frankly I think you're more and more unreasonable with every post

holidaysarenice Mon 04-Feb-13 22:12:18

actually i think yabu, she might be finding it hard to have the thought of thinking about a wedding with her dad walking her down the aisle. then her dad might die and she wouldnt have that.

why not give her some support instead of bitching about her.

if he has 'at best a year' then there is no way he will be there either way and that is a lot easier for a bride than one who had her heart set on something perhaps in the church where he may be buried from.

Tortington Mon 04-Feb-13 22:19:07

she might not want her wedding day to be forever a reminder of her dead dad

SconeRhymesWithGone Tue 05-Feb-13 00:27:18

FWIW, I am pretty sure that you can have a religious ceremony wedding at Disney, if the particular religion/denomination allows it (not all do). A blessing of a previous marriage is not very common in the US; but a vow renewal ceremony is very close and could probably be adapted. Also Florida, like all US states, does not have the same sharp delineation between a civil and religious marriage as in some other countries, and many denominations will allow a ceremony outside the church and provide a minister.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 05-Feb-13 00:35:54

I would not want to organise a wedding in the space of a year, praying the whole time that my dying father would make it.

What happens if he doesn't? Do they go ahead? Do they cancel?

Let people do their own thing and your life will be far less complicated.

SirIronBottom Tue 05-Feb-13 02:07:36

For all we know he could have been very insistent indeed about not wanting to be a burden.

Disney wedding = hmm, though. (Any big wedding = hmm).

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 03:50:26

Maybe she doesn't want him there. Maybe she isn't ready if she is waiting two years It's not really your business.

feministefatale Tue 05-Feb-13 03:55:45

Actually just remembered you slagged your cousin off on another thread already regarding her choice. You are her cousin, it is fuck all to do with you

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Tue 05-Feb-13 05:49:04

I would judge too. Having the memory of my dad at my wedding is one of my happiest memories of him. However everyone is different, to me it was about joining two two families not everyone thinks like that. Also there can be a lot of denial when someone is terminally ill. Does he seem heathly right now and not really affected? Maybe she hasn't accepted what is going to happen.

His health won't be the biggest barrier in attending, even if he is fine to attend he won't get insurance

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