Young children watching adults play games

(63 Posts)
Lara2 Sun 03-Feb-13 11:49:50

I'm prepared to be flamed but this is something that really gets to me. I teach Reception and on a regular basis over the last few years, most noticeably 3 times this week with 3 different children, I have found myself saying "If you're too little to play the game, you're too little to watch". These are 4 year olds who watch their parents play things like Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto etc. What the hell goes through parents' heads? These games have ratings for a reason - would they let them watch an 18 rated movie ( no, don't answer that!)? It does frustrate and upset me that I often have to pick up the pieces at work in the form of inappropriate play/behaviour or distressed children. I do mention it to parents but usually get brushed off with a casual comment and a look that clearly says that I should be minding my own business! But if I don't say anything, who will? I am very careful how I approach the subject, and certainly do it professionally and non-judgementally. AIBU?

fuzzpig Sun 03-Feb-13 16:30:41

Eri, we just bought a load of horror DVDs actually (thanks to HMV clearance) grin exorcist, omen, shining, Halloween etc.

It's crazy to think we all used to laugh at the horror movies - I am much more scareable now as an adult!

IDrankAllTheGravy Sun 03-Feb-13 16:31:45

Yanbu. DP sees no problem in letting DS (2.6) sit on his knee and watch him play COD, I hate it and cringe every time.
I know a lot of people think I'm the weird one for disliking it, I don't even like sitting in the room with him myself, all the banging and shouting and killing stresses me out.

Perhaps I'm old fashioned, I just don't think it's appropriate for young children.

fuzzpig Sun 03-Feb-13 16:32:49

And WIB I agree about MTV, a lot of videos are gross (even though I like the music). My DCs dance to classic fm <polishes halo> grin

fuzzpig Sun 03-Feb-13 16:34:17

IDrank, tell him not to do it. You are the parent too, don't put up with it.

IDrankAllTheGravy Sun 03-Feb-13 16:44:36

Oh I do but he thinks I'm making a fuss over nothing. Most of the time he plays after ds's bedtime so it's not always a problem.

pollypandemonium Sun 03-Feb-13 16:58:21

YANBU. The ratings are a LEGAL guideline - the parents are committing the offence of neglect if they allow their children to watch them, as they would be with porn or horror.

Try checking out with someone in school that understands about child protection. Here is the definition of neglect -

The government guidance for England, Working together to safeguard children (HM Government, 2010), defines neglect as:

"…the persistent failure to meet a child's basic physical and/or psychological needs, likely to result in the serious impairment of the child's health or development. Neglect may occur during pregnancy as a result of maternal substance abuse. Once a child is born, neglect may involve a parent or carer failing to provide adequate food, clothing and shelter (including exclusion from home or abandonment); protect a child from physical and emotional harm or danger; ensure adequate supervision (including the use of inadequate care-givers); or ensure access to appropriate medical care or treatment. It may also include neglect of, or unresponsiveness to, a child's basic emotional needs."

The PEGI 18 rating :
^PEGI 18
The adult classification is applied when the level of violence reaches a stage where it becomes a depiction of gross violence and/or includes elements of specific types of violence. Gross violence is the most difficult to define since it can be very subjective in many cases, but in general terms it can be classed as the depictions of violence that would make the viewer feel a sense of revulsion.
Descriptors shown on the back of the packaging indicate the main reasons why a game has received a particular age rating. There are eight such descriptors: violence, bad language, fear, drugs, sexual, discrimination, gambling and online gameplay with other people.^

Putting it in black and white might help.

pigletmania Sun 03-Feb-13 17:11:45

I thought t wuld be about kids watching ter parents play cherads or give us a clue grin. yanbu

ILoveTIFFANY Sun 03-Feb-13 17:14:49

It's not just parents either... teens playing them can pose a problem too

Do remember that when you send your kids on playdates etc as it's beyond your control

And also, small handheld gadgets have the same games. Pap, nintendo etc

EugenesAxe Sun 03-Feb-13 17:20:44

YANBU... don't know who would flame you; nutters perhaps.

I had a go at DH today who had on WWE Raw when the DCs (3 and 1) were in the room.

Mother2many Sun 03-Feb-13 17:36:16

Totally agree with you!! There is a Rating on the games for a reason...that also includes watching it!!! My Xh plays very very inappropriate games with my 9 yr old son, and my 7 yr old daughter is around... Games that are rated for M... or 17+.... (pretty sad she can't talk to daddy because he is busy gaming with people on line and he encourages his boys to play too!)

My 9yr knows I don't like violent games around, and he brought home games that he thought I wouldn't mind... (EIIK) if those are the "good games" I hate to see what the other games are!!!

I don't agree with military, hunting down people and shooting them. PERIOD.

I did attempt to speak with my XP, but, his house, his rules...

I walked in and said to my son, how come you don't have the volume on your game? "because it has bad words" GEEE.... GOOD one dad!! I can't imagine the mute button is used when he is at dad's house!!!

Okay, VENT... Sorry, didn't mean to take over...

My son and his g/f play aggressive games, but as soon as my grandson get a bit older, you better bet I will be saying something about it!

atacareercrossroads Sun 03-Feb-13 17:44:39

Well my Ds lies, he tells his nursery that he plays Halo hmm

4 year olds aren't that reliable, clearly grin

Backtobedlam Sun 03-Feb-13 17:57:44

Dh often plays these games and I have to take the kids out and shut the door, he sees nothing wrong with it at all. I could imagine if I wasn't around and they were playing he'd think nothing of having it on in the background. I just think some people aren't child orientated and find it really hard to see things from someone else's, especially a child's, pov. Some of these games are actually more realistic than films, so far worse in my opinion.

WhichIsBest Sun 03-Feb-13 18:05:37

I even feel a bit worried about watching horror films when DD is asleep, because DH is half deaf and we have to have it really loud, and what if the sounds get into her subconscious? blush

SolidSnake Sun 03-Feb-13 18:16:26

fuzzpig Me neither, my parents weren't really interested in what I was watching (great parenting, I know). I remember watching Crash (the one with James Spader) when I was 13 and I am still scarred!

But yes OP YANBU, coming from someone who plays a lot of video games

seeker Sun 03-Feb-13 18:18:05

I can't get past the idea of an adult playing computer games anyway- I thought this was going to be about children being bored watching their dad play football or cricket........

pollypandemonium Sun 03-Feb-13 18:20:35

That's sweet whichisbest smile. I do wish schools would send out some fact sheets to parents about what their responsibility is to their offsprings mental well-being, preferably in large writing that they can stick on the telly and in nice male-friendly macho fonts (as opposed to comic sans which they usually do and no man takes seriously).

pollypandemonium Sun 03-Feb-13 18:22:16

My dcs run in shame when I get the wii dance out.

loofet Sun 03-Feb-13 19:50:12

Yanbu. Those games are scary..

JeffFaFa Sun 03-Feb-13 20:00:59

YANBU my 6 year old came home from school really distressed as a girl told him she was going to get into his house at night stab him through the head and cut of the rest of the families heads when he was asleep.

Ds also frequently pretends to be a zombie and its certainly nothing he has picked up at home so much be school, can only imagine what some of these children must be viewing.

NotEnoughTime Sun 03-Feb-13 20:02:31

I second WhatAThingInYourLifeSaid.

MmeLindor Sun 03-Feb-13 20:13:08

Ben 10 and Black Ops 2 are similar? <boggles>

'Parents need to know that Call of Duty: Black Ops II is a gritty, extremely violent military first-person shooter set mostly in the near future. Players engage in graphic combat that involves constant killing using realistic weapons, with blood and gore pouring across the screen during more intense scenes. Cinematic sequences can be even more dramatic and graphic, with both soldiers and civilians dying in horrible ways. Players are cast in the role of good guys during most of the campaign, but they also take on the role of the game's villain in a couple of pivotal scenes, giving them opportunity to do evil. This M-rated game has frequent profanity and some sexual themes and drug use. Parents should also be aware that this game facilitates open voice communication.'

From this website (It is a US website, but good for looking up games and film reviews)

DS doesn't have a Ben 10 game but I doubt it contains 'gritty, extremely violent' scenes with 'blood and gore'.

YANBU. Why would anyone have a game like this on when a child is in the room?

pigletpower Sun 03-Feb-13 20:24:48

Diddl-You sound like every teachers nightmare! How dare the teacher possibly have your childrens care at heart?! You seem to be one of those pain in the arse 'armchair teachers'.Parents always know best huh?hmm

diddl Sun 03-Feb-13 20:30:29

Well I would like to think that I know better than a teacher about what´s best for my child, that´s for sure!

Unfortunately for OP, parents who let their children see/watch these games aren´t likely to be interested in her opinion of their parenting, are they?

But I hold with what I say-that I wouldn´t like my child to be spoken to like that over something that perhaps they are not even choosing to do.

orangeandlemons Sun 03-Feb-13 20:37:33

I'm a teacher. This is a child protection issue IMO. They aren't allowed to view porn. Why are they allowed to view violence?

pollypandemonium Mon 04-Feb-13 00:17:47

Agree with you orangeandlemons - it's neglect.

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