to think bringing an 18 month old to an evening baby shower

(60 Posts)
FutTheShuckUp Fri 01-Feb-13 21:46:15

Is not on and also smacks of not wanting anyone to get more attention than your little darling?
This person wants to bring her child to every event going no matter how unsuitable and it just smacks of attention seeking. AIBU

MusicalEndorphins Sat 02-Feb-13 17:17:17

That doesn't sound like any baby shower I have been at, in a pub at night. hmm
More of a head wetting I'd say.
And yes, she is very unreasonable to her 18 month old out to a pub at night.
But if it was a traditional baby shower, (usually held in the daytime), it would be totally normal to bring small children and babies along.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sat 02-Feb-13 15:48:30

A baby shower in a pub? Wow, the baby shower institution has enjoyed quite a transmutation in its move across the Atlantic.

WhatsTheBuzz Sat 02-Feb-13 15:28:12

jesus, you might want to let whoever's baby shower this is, know that once her baby is here, she needn't expect any invites to anything if she's planning on bringing him/her.

WhatsTheBuzz Sat 02-Feb-13 15:22:12

absolutely, we should never take our children anywhere lest they hog all the limelight.........

TomDudgeon Sat 02-Feb-13 13:48:35

Why the hell would would you have a hen night style baby shower
Oh yes let's all get pissed even though the person it's all for cant
Weird

DonderandBlitzen Sat 02-Feb-13 13:37:17

The host probably chose to have her baby shower at the pub in the evening because she thought "Surely if i have it at the pub in the evening then people will realise it is supposed to be child free."

If she's spoken to the host beforehand then it's fine, if not then a bit of an imposition.

I don't get the obsession with needing one person to have all the attention at an event. Surely grown ups can take turns showing an interest in each other, or in each other's kids.

pigletmania Sat 02-Feb-13 13:03:31

I know tat is not a baby shower but a booze up, you don't go into a pub to drink coke and orange juice

WorriedMummy73 Sat 02-Feb-13 11:59:54

The baby shower was an evening gathering at a pub.

Excuse me, but what? That's not a baby shower! That's a piss-up at the pub. I have a lot of American friends who would be appalled at how we've pinched their idea of a friend's get together to celebrate the imminent birth of one of the group, usually with lunch and maybe a bit of champagne, and turned into yet another British 'let's go on the lash' scenario. One of my best friends (yes, American) had a mini shower, at her house, in the daytime, kids invited, she made cakes, we had coffee, shared stories and laughs of labour and motherhood. An evening gathering at a pub is NOT a baby shower, however you paint it. And yes, YABU, especially as it's not YOUR 'baby shower' (snorts) so who are you to comment on whether another guest brings their 18 month old.

Having said that, who the eff wants to take their 18 month old to the pub in the evening anyway?

Nanny0gg Sat 02-Feb-13 11:44:22

You know, Baby showers are optional, you neither have to have one or go to one.
But they can be great fun. It can be an 'excuse' for a group of friends and family to get together and they can be as big or as small as you like.

Just please, for these and any other events, think of the time and place, and don't automatically think that every 'do' has to be attended by your precious infant.

Sometimes, you just have to miss out.

Dominodonkey Sat 02-Feb-13 11:08:31

Those who are talking about new borns. I thought baby showers were always before the birth.
They are unnecessary - we only has one for my friend because her mum had died that year and we wanted to show our support.

bunny love I can never work out whether you are serious or not.

katiecubs Sat 02-Feb-13 10:09:10

bunnylove you would 'expect' a baby to be breasted at 18 months?! Why?! What a horribly patronising and judgemental thing to say.

Even if they still are, and this would be the minority, surely they would be able to go a few hours without a feed FFS.

WhichIsBest Sat 02-Feb-13 09:56:32

You obviously just plain don't like the woman.

FeckOffCup Sat 02-Feb-13 09:54:57

a mother and baby are a single unit. at eighteen months i would expect a baby to be breastfed and not to be separated from his or her mother.

At 18 months, really? At 18 weeks I could see it but I think I would have gone insane after 18 months of being a "single unit" with my child and no baby free time at all. An 18 month old is unlikely to be exclusively breast fed, I can't see an issue with leaving them with someone else for a few hours.

taketheribbon Sat 02-Feb-13 09:49:51

What EuroShagmore said.

YABU.

SminkoPinko Sat 02-Feb-13 09:49:21

lol@ "it all sounds like an utterly revolting evening all round", Holly!

Totally agree.

MammaTJ Sat 02-Feb-13 09:46:28

Is she a single parent? In which case it might be take the baby or not go.

EuroShagmore Sat 02-Feb-13 09:46:15

I've been to one baby shower and it was a child friendly environment (although as we did it after work for someone who was going on mat leave, no one had their kids with them). I thought children at a baby shower was normal?

I don't like the idea of baby showers but surely they should be child-friendly occasions. What next, child-free christenings?

FutTheShuckUp Sat 02-Feb-13 09:45:39

Sorry back to answer some of your queries- to the poster who asked me if I have kids yes I do. But im happy to attend evening/adult events without them. If I have no childcare I dont go. I think my kids are the cutest wittiest and best things since sliced bread but also acknowledge they are not to everyone else under the sun.
The baby shower was an evening gathering at a pub. The 'baby' isnt and never has been breastfed and the mother has no qualms leaving him with grandparents for her husband and her to go away on weekends together.
I dont dislike this woman but it irritates me she feels her child is the centre of the universe and ought to attend every event as people will be so thrilled to see him regardless of the suitability of the event and venue.

MoppingMummy Sat 02-Feb-13 09:45:39

I wouldn't take an 18 month old to an evening baby shower. Yanbu.

Nanny0gg Sat 02-Feb-13 09:44:07

birdofthenorth
That's fine if the hosts are happy with that arrangement. The alternative, obviously, is to decline and miss out on some things, if they're not.
It's the assumption that it's okay that I don't get.

MrsDeVere Sat 02-Feb-13 09:42:39

It depends.
If its a mad, shrieking, hen party style at 8pm...bit weird to take child
If its an afternoon, gentle, cakes and tea at 3pm...bit weird to exclude.

Also regardless of if she is being unreasonable, you are bing unreasonable to accuse her of taking her child for those reasons.

It's a bit mean. Maybe she doesn't like leaving her child? A bit wet maybe but it takes someone really nasty to want everyone to ignore a pregnant women and only notice their child.
Who does that?

birdofthenorth Sat 02-Feb-13 09:41:20

I have on several occasions had to take DD (now 2.5) to evening stuff because DH works away and there are a limited number of people I can ask to babysit.

mrsbunnylove Sat 02-Feb-13 09:40:22

a mother and baby are a single unit. at eighteen months i would expect a baby to be breastfed and not to be separated from his or her mother. if you invite the mother, expect the baby to come along, too.

13Iggis Sat 02-Feb-13 09:32:03

I remember the baby shower scene in Sex and the City. Didn't Miranda drop someone's toddler? (It was her shower). Always thought that's what I'd be like if pg.

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