To think that I could happily leave family behind without a second thought?

(109 Posts)
shrimponastick Sat 19-Jan-13 16:57:35

Just been watching Wanted Down Under Revisited.

Obviously it is a great show - you get to see a bit of each region, find out about the way of life etc. But the bit which gets my goat is the dvd showing the distraught family members 'back home' saying how much they will miss the grand kids etc. Everyone gets upset.

So, am I wrong in thinking that if I/We wanted to go and live elsewhere in the near future that I wouldn't miss my family/friends?

Are we supposed to live in our families' pockets and see them every day?

I would want to take DH and DS - the rest I can take or leave.

Am I the only one??

AThingInYourLife Sun 20-Jan-13 10:01:57

I don't think anyone said that, did they?

People seem to think that I said that and I said nothing of the sort.

And sorry, but there's plenty of moral dimension in thinking people are weird if they want to live close to family.

And while you might well care very much for the people you leave behind, it is likely that the bonds between the people who stay close and see one another regularly will grow ever closer while you will have to work hard to keep them at the same level as when you left.

amillionyears Sun 20-Jan-13 10:07:51

I have watched several episodes of the show, though none of the recent series.
I have noticed that a lot of the participants have families that live very near, they see very regularly, and are often in contact with sometimes daily.
I have wondered whether the producers deliberately choose those people to go on the show, to make the programme more emotionally interesting.
To my mind, I dont think that is the norm in most families generally.

op, from your most recent post especially, I am wondering whether you wrote your post more from a personal, maybe a bit wistful, comparing your family life with others, pov. Not sure I have written exactly what I am meaning to.

peacefuloptimist Sun 20-Jan-13 10:10:04

I agree with googlyeyes, exexpat. We moved to the UK and grew up without having any extended family around. Even though we never really lived near our relatives (came to the UK quite young and only had limited contact with a few relatives before that) throughout my childhood I did feel that we were missing out because we did not grow up around gps, aunts and uncles, cousins etc. Even if you never experienced what that was like, seeing other people with their families, watching tv or films where you see big extended families gives you an insight in to what it would be like and you do crave that experience of having that dependable love and loyalty (even though I know that is certainly not the case with everyone). I feel so happy when I see my dniece, dnephew and my own ds getting to interact with their gps, aunts and uncles etc. The love a gp has for their gchild and the relationship between them can be very special and I personally feel it is wrong to deny your child that. Having said that I would move away from family (I already have) if the need arose and for better opportunities/quality of life but I would miss them all terribly and do visit often.

Pinkerl Sun 20-Jan-13 10:11:27

I think what some people are saying, and I tend to agree, is not that moving away is better or worse than living near family, but is a little sad to do so knowing you would not miss a single friend or family member

I am the only member of my immediate family left in the UK, as both my sister and my parents emigrated (to different countries) when I was 20. If anything it has improved our relationship as we know time together is precious so none of those AIBU petty arguments arise. I've read enough threads on here to know that living just down the road from parents and PILS isn't all it's cracked up to be.

AThingInYourLife Sun 20-Jan-13 11:09:12

"I have wondered whether the producers deliberately choose those people to go on the show, to make the programme more emotionally interesting."

Of course they do.

YANBU, I feel the same way. It used to really confuse me when I was seasonal working and my friends, back home and jobless because there weren't jobs, would say "Oh, I couldn't do what you do! I'd miss my family and friends!". Surely having a job is better than staying home trying to find one in a local economy that is non-existent?

gotthemoononastick Sun 20-Jan-13 11:22:38

We have children in Europe,Australia ,Uk,and huge extended family in Africa.They all have a wonderful life.Living in u.k. at present.Of course it is very hard as we age,but little birds must fly.I always compare what I have with Skype,internet etc.,with those poor Victorian mums ,who said goodbye forever at the docks, as families went out to the colonies! Much easier now.OP,go see the wide world if you can!

WhataSook Sun 20-Jan-13 11:33:58

gotthemoon that's exactly what my parents and I say! The world is a much smaller place now with skype, email, calls etc that I probably speak more to my parents now I'm in the UK then when I was at home. Because of the time diff we have set days and approximate times to call/skype, it works really well for us.

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