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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want a dog licking my baby's mouth?

69 replies

Tinkerisdead · 22/12/2012 19:05

Actually it wasnt licking my baby's mouth it licked in her mouth.

So, i've been on this site for about 5/6 years and i'm going for it. I'm throwing myself into the AIBU pit...go for your lives.

So, i visit my dad/stepmum. They have three dogs. They are their babies. I respect that fully, they are "mummy" and "daddy" to these dogs and (having owned a dog in the past) conpletely get that we're in the dogs home and it's parents rules.

Baby dd2 is 10 months old. I warn, just be careful as she was quite frightened of friends dog on weds. So i hold dd2 on lap and we gradually introduce her to the three lovely, good natured dogs. They start to jump up a lot and so they get put outside. Dd2 is then crawling/cruising about and one dog gets back into the room. She bounds over to dd and starts licking her face and as dd laughs licking inside her mouth.

I swoop dd up and say "no licking faces" put dd in my lap again but dog jumps up again licking all over her mouth and in it. I stand up to get dd2 away and say "dad can you stop her please?" As clearly dog wont listen to my command understandably.

Stepmum took huge offense. Started loudly fussing dog that i'd told her off for playing with the baby etc and clearly not amused with me. She obviously thinks i was being precious.

So was i? They knew we were coming, but i know they have dogs. Should i expect that to go undetered or am i being unreasonable? My dad did tell his dog off but again stepmum told him off for going too far. They will openly kiss the dogs and stepmum will put her tongue out to them but i dont really want my baby's mouth to be licked like that.

Come on then... Hit me with it..

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 22/12/2012 19:07

As a mother I would be as PFB as you are - but even I know dog saliva is a healant and wont hurt. But I would have been as annoyed as you are. Dogs are pack animals - you teach them not to lick people, mine don't.

Beamur · 22/12/2012 19:10

Personally I hate dogs licking faces. I have a dog. They lick their bums - say no more!
I'd have probably taken a rolled up newspaper to the dog and never been invited back again...
Your SM is being an arse (I'm a SM too so am allowed to say that) Smile
They sound like nice dogs and are only doing what they are used to being allowed to do normally, but your Dad and Stepmum shouldn't take offence if you don't embrace the same behaviour.

hattymattie · 22/12/2012 19:11

YANBU - I would have hated this - it's unhygenic - just think what else dogs lick!

NannyEggn0gg · 22/12/2012 19:11

Be as precious as you like - it's revolting.

kinkyfuckery · 22/12/2012 19:12

It's yuck, and regardless of your PIL views, they should respect that you don't like it.

However, it's your place to keep your baby away from the dogs as much as it's theirs to keep the dogs away from your baby.

AdoraJingleBells · 22/12/2012 19:13

I have dogs, I would have made bloody sure they couldn't get anywhere near a baby or toddler. YANBU in the least.

scrivette · 22/12/2012 19:15

As a dog owner I would say YANBU. I wouldn't like my dog to lick my baby (although he is my PFB)

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 22/12/2012 19:19

yuck! yanbu

ViperInTheManger · 22/12/2012 19:22

That is absolutely gross! I would have a wobbler about that. Your stepmum sounds like a loon to me.

oldraver · 22/12/2012 19:23

I would not under any circumstances tolerate a dog licking me or my child anywhere

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow · 22/12/2012 19:23

I love dogs, I have dogs, but oh my god, that's made me feel a bit sick, and I would have been the same.

It's not a good habit for the dogs to get into anyway, jumping and licking the kids all over.

Wonder why the step mum didn't get that? Surely most people would not find that acceptable

maddening · 22/12/2012 19:24

I wouldn't want a dog to lick my face so definitely wouldn't accept it licking ds' face.

WhenSantaGotStuckUpACunnyFunt · 22/12/2012 19:25

Bleurgh! I don't let my dog lick me let alone my toddler! Yanbu!

Original poster
Tinkerisdead · 22/12/2012 19:26

Oooh so far not flamed! Thank you. I agree its my look out to keep baby away and thats why i warned at the threshold that she may not be keen on the dogs. I only let her on the floor when the dogs were put away but one got back in and straddled dd on the floor as i swooped in.

These are lovely dogs they just wanted to play. My folks buy thevdogs second hand baby toys and as we came in cheerily told me that they had washed all the toys so dd was welcome to chew on them as they'd been washed yesterday. I was a bit Hmm at that to be honest. If they are the dogs toys then for me they are off limits. As much out of respect for the dogs space as much as hygiene.

OP posts:
NannyEggn0gg · 22/12/2012 19:26

Not to mention, how trustworthy are they with a young baby? If they're not used to them or well trained they could easily turn.
I'd be having words with your dad - it's his DGC after all!

NannyEggn0gg · 22/12/2012 19:27

Oh goodness - the dogs's toys??
If they're the slightest bit possesive over them it's a recipe for disaster...

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/12/2012 19:27

YANBU

I do think that they could visit you for the forthcoming, yes?

JollyOldChristmas · 22/12/2012 19:28

My parents have a puppy. He's about 4 months old. DS is now 20mo.

My mum looks after DS fairly regularly.

The dog sometimes licks DS's face, but DS just pushes him away. The dog gets into trouble for this, but he's a puppy so is still learning. He also gets into trouble for jumping up and it has made a huge difference. He rarely jumps now.

I don't really like the idea of a smelly animal living inside a house and wouldn't have one myself, but I accept that if I'm getting free childcare I can't complain too much!

If you going round there is to be a regular arrangement then you all need to be training the dogs not to do this.

KellyMarieTunstall · 22/12/2012 19:30

No .Dogs should not be allowed to go near faces. It only takes a bit of misjudgment for very sharp teeth to do a lot of injury to a tiny face.

There is no need for dogs to lick faces and not being allowed to do so will not harm them in anyway.

You were not being precious -just sensible.

Softlysoftly · 22/12/2012 19:30

she puts her tongue out??

YANBU and actually if the dogs never get told off surely that means they are boss and not controllable by voice by the sounds of it? I'd be worried about baby anywhere near let alone licking.

Did you not see the thread here yesterday about the boy killed by the family pet by just 1 bite? Doesn't matter if you are right there or not.

Original poster
Tinkerisdead · 22/12/2012 19:32

Visiting me. Yes they are more than welcome although stepmum insists on bringing the dogs!! At dd1's 2nd birthday party we hired a hall. They drive to the party whereupon dad tells me stepmum wont come in as dogs are alone in the car. She had a meltdown and i had to agree to hide the dogs in the back to get stepmum in.

I'm not drip feeding as its not relevant to the licking just explaining that i do get it she adores her dogs.

OP posts:
scuzy · 22/12/2012 19:34

but your child was crawling on the floor where the dogs sit and walks ... your child then puts their hand in their mouths ... whats the difference? not nice to see but what you dont see would prob be as horrendous. it really wont do them any harm.

RandomMess · 22/12/2012 19:37

eewwwwwwwwwwwwww why do they think other people want their faces liked by their dogs.

I love dogs don't think they are germ filled but I don't want to be licked on my face ever by any dog!

RandomMess · 22/12/2012 19:37

liked = licked

crashdoll · 22/12/2012 19:38

YANBU. I adore my dog but he is not allowed to lick visitors' faces.