Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To want to be offered a fucking cup of tea

(100 Posts)
SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 08-Dec-12 08:43:30

without asking for one, just once. I'm referring to the weekend here only as dp works all week. I make us lovely dinners/puddings 5/7 times a week.

My dp will just lie there playing on his effing iPhone until I get up and make us tea. Just once it would be nice to be offered. My father always makes my sm a cup of coffee every morning without fail, same as my mum and sd. So I seem to have found a bloke who never thinks to offer something so little for his partner sad

I maybe be a teensy bit hormonal due to being 38 WEEKS FUCKING PREGNANT and never being offered a cup of tea. In the morning my back and ribs are killing me.

Rant over <breathes in lavender and clary sage concoction>

tethersjinglebellend Sat 08-Dec-12 11:29:35

I don't drink tea.

<helpful>

FestiveDigestive Sat 08-Dec-12 14:25:41

Refuse to leave your bed until your tea has been delivered. I am heavily pregnant & my DH brings a cup of tea and biscuits in every morning and he knows that I will not be able to speak or leave the bed until I've the tea grin

DH gets up and makes me one every morning and my alarm goes off at 05:40.
You need to persevere, I did. brew

YoucanringmySleighBells Sat 08-Dec-12 16:00:15

Well YANBU!! I second the idea of getting him a personalised mug that says - offer to make dw a cuppa - that should gently remind him.

Here, I will make you a brew

Tell him one last time that you shouldn't HAVE to ask. Oh and don't make him dinner until he bloody asks.

FredFredGeorge Sat 08-Dec-12 16:11:09

YABU for expecting people to do things which without you asking. People are not mind readers, you do not want your DH to read your mind or all your thoughts about the milk man will come out.

SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 08-Dec-12 16:24:33

I was always brought up to offer people things and generally do nice things for people you love and care about.

I don't want diamonds or flowers (like that would happen anyway!) but wanting DP to get me a cuppa on the weekends isn't much to ask (without asking) surely smile

YoucanringmySleighBells Sat 08-Dec-12 16:37:57

I agree spoony - Treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. If Op offers her husband cuppas without being asked he should do the same. Especially as he loves tea!

AnnaRack Sat 08-Dec-12 16:54:26

Yanbu. Have brew and a biscuit!

charlottehere Sat 08-Dec-12 17:02:19

I used to tell dh that my needs were greater than his when upduffed, just tell the selfish twunt to pull his finger out of his rear and make you tea.

charlottehere Sat 08-Dec-12 17:05:06

Btw dh is great in the te a dept, infant n most areas. We have 2 week old ds1 and dh makes me tea and breakfast in bed most days. I heart dh.

Don't make him one.

Or huff and puff a lot while you make him tea. And then smash his stupid iPhone.

Lavenderhoney Sat 08-Dec-12 17:17:12

I was thinking the other day that my dad got up before my mum every single day until he died ( 50 years) and made her tea. And she had a teas made, so they had tea in bed with it, then he got up and got her another. And I wondered why my dh can't do that. He can't make tea though. My pil don't even have a kettle and I cried the first time i stayed theresmile they have tea but warm water in a pan or microwave. It is disgusting.

My dc get up about 6 and dh doesn't ever get up with them, so I have to get my own. I make him coffee so he gets up for that much later. I don't take it to him in bed, do you think I should? He says it would be nicer.

FreeButtonChristmasTree Sat 08-Dec-12 17:41:18

Tea drinkers are mad. Mad I tell you. If you want something, ask for it!

In fact, the more tou ask, the more used he'll get to making you one and you might actually find that he naturally starts to offer more often. Think of it as a virtuous circle. <sings kumbaya and offers biscuits to all>

SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 08-Dec-12 17:58:03

I hate to ask though sad I feel demanding and he kind of goes quiet, waits for 5 minutes and then gets it when he's good and ready so it's never a tea made wih love

HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Sat 08-Dec-12 19:24:01

Lavender your pil are very strange!!

grin at kumbaya, haven't thought about that for years.

I still think he should instinctively know by the power of something that he should get up and make you a cup of tea.

Look on the bright side, give it 9 or so years and you can train the dc to make you tea and bring it up!

Viviennemary Sat 08-Dec-12 19:28:18

Just ask. Say I would like a nice cup of tea please. I often offer to make tea and then it takes me ages to get round to doing it. blush Sometimes I forget altogether and DH gets annoyed at that. But just ask. And if you ask often enough he might even get used to making tea without you asking first. Well you can only hope!

lottiegarbanzo Sat 08-Dec-12 20:35:36

I think you need to start getting used to asking for things.

I understand that you've been very independent and are used to doing things for yourself and being kind to others. In a partnership though, that shouldn't mean you do everything and become an inadvertent servant, or a cat who walks by herself alongside someone else, it means you need to learn to lead, delegate, encourage and work together.

Calabria Sat 08-Dec-12 21:24:08

My dad makes my mum (and any visitors who want one) an early cup of tea every morning. He cannot carry the mugs into the bedroom as his disability means he cannot walk unaided, so Mum (or the visitor) delivers the tea. Such a treat when I'm visiting.

agedknees Sat 08-Dec-12 21:38:35

yanbu.

My dh has just poured me a glass of wine and opened the matchmakers. And he made dinner (Thai soup and curry from scratch).

You have some serious husband training to do.

SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 08-Dec-12 21:42:31

Luckily he's not my husband yet. Still stuck in bachelor ways I guess, needs definite training especially with baby coming. I'm hoping it will help him grow up a bit.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 08-Dec-12 22:37:08

Yanbu. Your dh is a bounder.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 08-Dec-12 22:38:56

Sorry, I meant your dp not dh. Anyway whatever his official title he's nevertheless a cad.

changeforthebetterforObama Sat 08-Dec-12 22:41:47

Milk in first?! LTB! Or get a travel kettle and thermos flask. Tea in bed without the need for a partner :-)

MadameCreeper Sat 08-Dec-12 22:55:03

Yanbu

I'm with Spoony, it's one of those little things that you do for people you like. It doesn't matter if you're single, married, young, old, you just do things to help! When I was a SAHM my husband would get up before me, then wake me with a cuppa as he left the house. I now work full time, we both get up at the same time, I make the tea while he irons the shirts.

CalamityJ Sat 08-Dec-12 22:55:53

I used to visit Nestle up in York as they were one of my clients. In the half a dozen or so times I went to their offices I never once got offered a cup of coffee (they make Nescafe BTW) or indeed not so much as a glass of water (they also own Nestle Waters). So for your DP to not offer you one is not that surprising - some people just don't think about offering others a drink!

I wouldn't be subtle about it (well it never works with my DH) and next time you want one say 'Please could you make me a cup of tea'. Then take your turn with the next one. Then when it's his turn ask again. Eventually he will hopefully get into the habit of offering...maybe...or you'll just keep asking...either way you'll get your tea!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now