to leave my baby for 2 nights?

(64 Posts)
lilypaige Sat 01-Dec-12 02:49:12

Hi all
I have a 7 month old dd who is my world. Ive been asked on a hen weekend which would mean leaving my dd from friday teatime until sunday morning, with my mum who dd is very close to. What do people think about this? Part of me is really wanting to go as im a single mum, im with my daughter 24/7 so would be nice to have a break. The other part of me is thinking iv never been away from daughter that long and how would I cope?! Thanks for any replies x

Djembe Sat 01-Dec-12 09:01:11

shock at lovebunny ! I can't believe anyone would think this is an unreasonable thing to do?! She's a mother, not a nun!

Fwiw I'm married and have been out numerous times without DS. If I was in your position I would go, as long as you feel ok about it. Please don't worry what other people think - if your mum's happy to have the baby, there is no issue - good for all involved!

PrincessOfChina Sat 01-Dec-12 09:01:12

I do this regularly - DD is 21 months now but first stayed home with Daddy for the weekend at 12 weeks ish when I went on a hen do.

Since then I've travelled for work, been on several more hen do's and DP and I try to go out every month or so too so she stays with GP's then.

SirBoobAlot Sat 01-Dec-12 09:02:33

I don't know if I could do that. I'd certainly go for one night, but don't think I'd manage two.

Are you breastfeeding?

maddening Sat 01-Dec-12 09:03:16

Go for it! Have a fab time. Can you stay at your mum's with dd on the Thursday night so she's all settled when you go? Then when you get back go out for Sunday lunch with your mum and dd? It'll be a lovely weekend for all of you.

mosschops30 Sat 01-Dec-12 09:04:44

Very sad about some replies on here (lovebunny I am looking at you)

IMHO it's very important to have some adult time for yourself, plus it gives your children a great sense of independence too, especially when they are with other adults who care about them too.

Me and Dh have had a weeks holiday alone for the last two years and its been amazing. I've also been away for work twice in the last 2 months, I'm not sure they even notice I'm gonegrin.

Go and enjoy it smile

maddening Sat 01-Dec-12 09:04:51

Oh and do ignore lovebunny who is bu

I wouldn't (I am a single parent to three and my youngest is 17 months) the older boys I wouldn't think twice about leaving for a weekend - infact they are on a cub camp at the moment but I couldn't leave my baby blush

I don't think it would be wrong if you did though, and I think you should. The fact that I can't says more about me and my insecurities than anything else.

He will have to stay away over night soon as I will be in hospital having ds4, I am dreading it.

LaQueen Sat 01-Dec-12 09:13:26

"stay at home with your baby. is your social life really more important?"

WTAF hmm

Being a rabid Martyr Mum doesn't make you a better Mum...funnily enough.

OP you go and have some relaxtion, and then return to your DD feeling refreshed and energised...and be an even better Mum than you are already - because you will be a more rounded, more fulfilled, more buoyant Mummy smile

Trust me - it's actually perfectly possible to remain you and spend time with friends, and retain a portion of Me Time and still be a Good Mum...millions of Mums manage it every day.

Some. Don't.

LaQueen Sat 01-Dec-12 09:18:47

Further to add...I'm very cynical about Mums who protest they couldn't possibly bear to ever leave their child with a loving relative, and certainly don't ever feel the need for any Me Time... hmm

I have my suspicions that some of these Mums probably didn't have much of a social life/many friends before their baby was born, anyway. And so they make a smug sounding virtue 'Oh, I am just so bonded with my baby, I couldn't possibly leave them, I'm such an Earth Mother...' out of was is actually a rather sad necessity 'Actually, I'm rarely invited anywhere or asked to do anything, and I don't really have anyone in my life other than my baby.'

Yanbu. At all. Go, have a great time, and plan in a couple of days of bonding time when you get back.

I left dd for the weekend when she was 9mo to go for a weekend away in London and while I missed her, I also had a great time.

I have three hen weekends booked in next year and while I know I will miss her, I also am.looking forward to no worrying about bottles of dinners or get woken at 5am.

I would draw the line at more than a weekend though - we have been invited to NZ over new year but I wont leave dd and taking a one year old on an eighteen hour journey scares the shit out of me. DH is going on his own, and we have some good stuff to do together scheduled for the time he is away.

LaQueen Sat 01-Dec-12 09:23:49

And...before I get off my Soap Box, and hit the shower...

Allowing your child to spend quality time with loving relatives, without you being around, is such a positive thing to do and I think shows what a loving, selfless parent you are.

Because it's wonderful for your child to grow up surrounded by loving family/friends and really develop strong bonds with them. Surely the more people there are to shower your child with love and support, the better?

Our DDs have grown up very close to both GMs, and very, very close to their Aunties and Uncles - and they have always spent time with them, when DH and I are elsewhere.

It's a Win/Win scenario smile

mosschops30 Sat 01-Dec-12 09:24:12

LaQueen is the voice of reason this morning grin
I agree with everything you said.

FWIW I can't imagine a life where I never spend time away from my children

TheReturnOfBridezilla Sat 01-Dec-12 09:28:24

Go! Enjoy yourself! I've never been away for mine for longer than a night but have a weekend-long hen party to go to next summer and can't wait! They are three and one and very hard work at the moment. My husband has had several week-long snowboarding holidays and boys' weekends away since they have been born and nobody judges him so I don't see why it shouldn't be the same for us!

LaQueen Sat 01-Dec-12 09:29:03

I just think it's just sensible, surely.

How ego-centric would I be, if I thought only I could provide love and support for my DDs hmm

I'll always be Mummy no one can replace me. But I think it's wonderful that our DDs (at 8 & 9) still snuggle up with their Aunty and Uncle for a cuddle - or that they shout with excitement when they hear they're going to stay with Grannie for the weekend smile

They're lovely little girls - it would be incredibly selfish of me to not share them with their family who also love them very much smile

I fucked off to Dubai for a few days when my dd was 8 months. Left her with grandparents.

I had a lovely tan, as I could lie by the pool as long as I liked!

Go.

Arthurfowlersallotment Sat 01-Dec-12 09:43:36

Go, and don't feel bad.
I have a 7mo DD so I understand you'll find it difficult.
Think of the rest you'll have.. And when you're back on Sunday you'll be so excited to see your DD.

I can't do any overnighters yet as mine is still bf and wakes at 4 for a feed, but I'm looking forward to the time when I can. Enjoy yourself.

Boringbitch Sat 01-Dec-12 09:56:47

Do it!
Your dd will be looked after and you can have a break and a weekend away.
Have a great time (if you go).

showmethetoys Sat 01-Dec-12 10:04:00

I think it was lovebunny who wasnt allowed the push her own grandchild around in it's pram, because her daughter doesn't want anyone to push it apart from herself. So I think major issues have been passed down in her family anyway.

Everything that laqueen said. Go. And enjoy it!

lola88 Sat 01-Dec-12 10:05:52

I would def go i'm sure your mum is more than capible to caring for your child or you wouldn't think about leaving her and you DD will love being spoiled rotten for the weekend.

toomanydaisies Sat 01-Dec-12 10:12:51

Try it for 1 night and see how you cope. If your dd has a strong bond with your Mum then she'll be ok for a short separation (1 or 2 nights). Have fun!

Pilgit Sat 01-Dec-12 10:13:24

I did this when DD was about 8-10 weeks old. It was FAB. Missed her like crazy but loved getting the full nights sleep and catching up with lots of girly mates. I was officially the boring mummy who wouldn't/couldn't stop talking about her but my friends all humoured me! I'm with LaQueen as well - enabling such lovely relationships with Grandparents from such a young age is only a positive thing for both the DC's and the DGPs! Go, have a great time and don't have any regrets about it.

Actually I feel that some form of me time and social interaction beyond your DC's is really important. I don't mean leaving them every night of the week or a fortnight's holiday away from them, just maybe half an hour now and again for a coffee on your own or an evening class once a week. TIme to recharge your batteries and interact with other adults makes you a better parent IMVHO.

bedmonster Sat 01-Dec-12 10:21:58

GO GO GO GO GO!!!!!!! If you trust your mum and think she will be able to cope, I say definitely!
But then I've always had a good social life before having my dc, and that hasn't stopped.
I left the 3 Dc earlier this Dp while I swanned around Rome with friends. Youngest dc was 7 months. Everyone had a lovely time, and I didn't miss baby ds half as much as people thought I would, only phoned once in 3 days!!
I think its important to still be a person in your own right, aswell as being mum.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sat 01-Dec-12 10:26:50

YANBU.

As long as you don't leave her on her own, obviously ;)

Cbh1978 Sat 01-Dec-12 10:29:55

Go. Left 11mth old for two nights as doing a Masters that requires weekend studies. He came with me on two weekends as I was breastfeeding but he chose to stop, which was handy in a way for that weekend!
He wasn't bothered I was gone and wasn't that fussed when I came back!
We often remark how amazing single mums are. Go!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now