To wonder how much and how often you give presents to teachers?

(119 Posts)
Belladonna666 Fri 30-Nov-12 12:44:03

The school my child goes to have asked all parents to contribute £10 per child to the teachers communal presents. I don't mind doing this occasionally but they are going to ask for another contribution at the end of the summer of the same amount. This all adds up and we are forever being asked to contribute £ for this and that. I personally think it is more appropriate to give the teachers a present once a year at the end of the summer term. I hardly know my child's new teacher and feel that I would rather contribute at the end of the year.

The problem is that if I don't contribute it will be very obvious as it is a small school with a lot of well off parents for whom £10 is pocket money but we are on a small budget and it is a lot for us to be paying out £40 per year just for communal presents (for both my children when my youngest starts school).

AIBU?

stargirl1701 Fri 30-Nov-12 12:47:38

YANBU. Communal presents?!? WTF?! I am a teacher and find the gift giving by children quite uncomfortable. I would rather have a home made card or a drawing by the child. £10!!! Ridiculous!

LaCiccolina Fri 30-Nov-12 12:51:54

I would have said a pack go chocs at Xmas and a gift of something slightly nicer or made by child in summer as thank u for full year.

£10 twice a year?! Piss off! Communal presents? Sound like bar tips/newspaper round... Letter to head me thinks.... Ht a muppet!

DuffyMoon Fri 30-Nov-12 13:05:20

never, I assume they receive a salary from their employer

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Fri 30-Nov-12 13:10:30

That's a lot. You shouldn't be made to feel like you have to.

I buy at Christmas and at the end of the year because I want to not because I'm being asked to.

Just decline it.

DS isn't at school yet but the most I would give is a thank you card at the end of the school year. I don't understand this, "you have to contribute x amount" business. If DS wanted to get something for his teacher then I'd get something myself.

EssexGurl Fri 30-Nov-12 13:16:13

We do class presents at Christmas and end of term. It is done by each individual class and one mum organises it. Usually about £3 per family for the teacher and £1 for the TAs. This gets a present and a big card that all the kids sign. BUT we never specify an amount it is up to the individual parents. Some parents give more, some don't give anything. Personally, I would rather give a small amount like that (works out about £5 per time/£10pa) and they can have something decent than try to find something myself. We usually get M&S or JL vouchers so they can get what they want. Always goes down (or at least they tell us it does!).

EssexGurl Fri 30-Nov-12 13:17:20

Oh and last year DS had the most fantastic teacher - so DS wrote a personal card to say thank you in the summer, as did I. I also emailed feedback to the head on her because she was soooo good. Felt that was more important than a gift, tbh.

Pozzled Fri 30-Nov-12 13:21:57

Token present and home made card at Christmas and Easter. I may possibly also get a box of chocs or biscuits for the staff room.

I'm a teacher, and do think it's lovely when parents/children bring cards or gifts- IF it's done as a completely voluntary expression of appreciation. Until MN I didn't realize there were schools where parents were being pressurised to give money like this, and I think it's awful. I would complain very loudly if it happened at my school or my child's.

Pozzled Fri 30-Nov-12 13:25:50

Essexgurl You are so right about a personal comment being worth much more than a present.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Fri 30-Nov-12 13:27:46

Agree. It's just not right being bamboozled into giving money.
£10 is a lot of money to some people and they shouldn't have to worry about giving it or not.

3 quid tops if at all.

Just say you are sorry but you have already got the teacher something.

Kinora Fri 30-Nov-12 13:37:40

I've never given a present to a teacher.

Asking for a contribution for all the teachers is a cheek. None of the other parents Will know if you don't give any money.

HairyGrotter Fri 30-Nov-12 13:38:07

How much would £10 per child serve up? Could buy fucking Christmas for that?!

I would decline

lovelyladuree Fri 30-Nov-12 13:40:47

I would tell the HT to fuck off. Then I would complain to the governing body and the local education authority. You could report all this unearned income to HMRC. The fun could never stop.

mamij Fri 30-Nov-12 13:42:05

Unfortunately I've gone with the pack. At DDs school, we were also asked to contribute £10 to the teachers. The parent organiser ticked off my DDs name when I
(and other parents) gave our contributions. I must admit I found it difficult to say no.

Saski Fri 30-Nov-12 13:49:41

We contribute to a fund at my kids' school. We normally get them Westfield vouchers. I didn't realize this was controversial (obviously no one should if they can't afford it!), but for me, it is borne of sincere desire to show my appreciation to my kids' teachers. Of course you can just say thank you, but that could be said of any thank you gift, then, couldn't it?

Hulababy Fri 30-Nov-12 13:53:51

We have a class collection organised by class rep. Some classes do, some don't in our school. Voluntary and no pressure at all - just one email sent out to us normally. No set amount - most people put in £5-10, some less, some nothing. All children sign the card. It's a small class though - so although it is a reasonable amount, it isn't several hundred £s. This is then transferred into vouchers usually. That is done at Christmas.

End of year we do our own thing.

MrsMelons Fri 30-Nov-12 13:54:22

I would hate to do this, I think it is up to the individual parents/children to decide what presents to give.

This year both DCs have amazing teachers (DS1 has had the same teacher for the last 2 years) so they are making personalised glasses for them (both male teachers) in a theme they know the teachers like. I will also make cupcakes and wrap them in xmas cellophane etc for the TAs.

I think xmas should just be a token so a bottle of wine or choclates/biscuits for a few quid is quite sufficient.

Saski Fri 30-Nov-12 13:58:18

Wait, you're being asked by the head teacher? Or the class rep?

insanityscratching Fri 30-Nov-12 13:59:58

Dd makes a card and some sort of trinket for Christmas and Easter and end of year. They cost pennies as they generally are made from her craft supplies. I wouldn't contribute to a collection as the gift is from dd and she wants to have sole input tbh.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 30-Nov-12 14:06:17

The school is actually asking for present money?? shock

Did you mean that the school asked, or that the class rep or someone on the PTA asked?

EIizaDay Fri 30-Nov-12 14:10:31

Communal presents...what a liberty!!

If there is ever a collection for anything people should be free to put something or nothing in.

Personally I think it's very bad form for a school to do this, infact, it's well out of order.

Don't feel bad about not giving anything. Teachers are paid for doing their job and I would imagine some of them are horrified at this carry on.

teacher123 Fri 30-Nov-12 14:14:31

As a teacher I think that's awful! I love getting cards from pupils and have also counted myself very lucky if I get the odd bottle of wine or box of chocs! Anything more than that is embarrassing for the teacher. I think it would be appropriate to do a collection for a bunch of flowers if a teacher is ill in hospital for example or has had a baby, (50p per parent for example) but not for Xmas!

The SCHOOL have asked for the money?! That's outrageous! I'm a teacher and I'd be horrified at the idea of the school writing to parents and asking for money to buy me a present!

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