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to have called this guy a fucking...

(89 Posts)
goralka Fri 23-Nov-12 01:13:43

nonce?
My daughter who just turned 14 left her fb open as she does, and there was this conversation with a 23 year old, all kissy kissy and hearts and hugs. In fairness to him at one point in the conversation he had said there was too much of an 'age gap' but the conversation had continued the next day in the same vein.
OK so on a bit of an adrenaline rush I closed her FB and opened mine (that I use for business) found him, and sent a message telling him to 'defriend her or I would report him' all very adult - then my angry fingers and adrenalin took over and I sent another message calling him a 'fuckin nonce' and that his tracksuit reminded me of Savile......was that unreasonable?

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 19:32:21

'asperger's has nothing to do with it.'

Of course it does, if he has AS he may not be clear about social boundaries, conventions or the nuances of NT behaviour. It's not an excuse FFS, but a possible explanation. Foolish to deny the connection.
Several of the posters on this thread who have children on the spectrum, including me, have suggested that the OP contact the police or other officials.
He needs to stop.

lovebunny Sun 25-Nov-12 18:07:56

asperger's has nothing to do with it. if he's contacting young girls he's doing the wrong thing. good for you for reporting.

goralka Sun 25-Nov-12 16:42:38

somebody told me....

cheesesarnie Sun 25-Nov-12 15:42:00

How do you know he has Aspergers?

waltermittymistletoe Sun 25-Nov-12 15:34:10

Well done goralka! smile

goralka Sun 25-Nov-12 13:52:04

OK I reported it to CEOP, thank you all for your input

CSIJanner Sun 25-Nov-12 11:56:03

Okay - DH told me this morning that IABU in my advice. He suggests contacting CEOP in this case. He may deleted accounts, he might as he claims as asbergers but let them sort it. He could have another account, there could be other children. Let them investigate. HTH!

gallivantsaregood Sun 25-Nov-12 08:45:17

Child protection is everyone's responsibility and it is IMO your responsibility to contact CEOP.

You THINK thus young nan has Aspergers. You do not know for sure. If he doesnt he is predatory and a risk to children.

If he does and isn't aware of the social 'rules' he is still, albeit potentially unwittingly, putting children at risk. In addition you may be protecting his future wellbeing by reporting him and enduring te receives the support he needs to keep him and children safe.

HecatePropylaea Sun 25-Nov-12 08:19:25

Meant to ask - how did you find out he has aspergers? And how do you know this is true?

HecatePropylaea Sun 25-Nov-12 08:18:01

Do not leave it there in view of his condition.

My children both have autism.

If there were doing stuff like this I would NEED to know about it. I would need to be able to explain things to them and to make sure they understood why it was inappropriate. It would show me that I had further work to do on their understanding and development.

I would be furious with someone who denied me that because they were trying to make allowances for my children's inappropriate behaviour.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 25-Nov-12 08:02:39

The Asperger's is relevant, but contacting the police with that information as well as the rest of the story may well be the best way forwards.
It's probably me you got the 2/3 of chronological age emotionally from, my Aspie is 17.
The police are usually very sensitive about dealing with people on the spectrum, they could send someone round to explain clearly to him what he's doing, how it is perceived by others and that he must stop. Much better from a calm, non-judgemental professional aiming to solve the problem that a screeching mob with pitchforks and 'Burn in Hell Peedo!' signs.
If he's 23, he may well not be living at home, but he's obviously missed out on some of the lifeskills I'm continually implementing and reinforcing in my DS.

lljkk Netherlands Sun 25-Nov-12 07:55:38

Oh heavens sad, the Asperger's is a very very important factor. Not saying that he's necessarily harmless, but I hope the police deal with him sensitively nonetheless.

MamaBear17 Sat 24-Nov-12 19:38:20

Report him. There is something seriously wrong with a 23 year old man chatting up a 14 year old girl.

Wankarella Sat 24-Nov-12 18:27:20

]....

Wankarella Sat 24-Nov-12 18:26:58

Actually this thread is worrying me now, I have an 8 year old and 2 - 12 year olds on my FB that i never use as i detest it but they are my sons friends and asked to be my friend... confused

I'm off to de-friend them just in-case. [blush

SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 24-Nov-12 18:05:59

I would still contact police. He could be lying, plus he's still a danger and police will hopefully get SS involved anyway.

goralka Sat 24-Nov-12 17:59:36

OK waltermitty I hear you.

Wankarella Sat 24-Nov-12 17:59:25

I know Golal... it's fucking sick!!! angry

I did question him about it, but he likes to use the sentance:

I don't know...

hmm

He has no MSN anymore and I check his Blackberry weekly, sometimes daily

waltermittymistletoe Sat 24-Nov-12 17:56:13

You don't want SS involved with your daughter, is it? I'm sure there wouldn't be more than an interview.

This man is potentially very, very dangerous. I don't think you should be making the decision to keep the police out of it.

How would you feel if you saw him down the line on the news having been arrested for raping one of these children?

goralka Sat 24-Nov-12 17:52:36

You are right notyounaanbread....
fuck me wankerella.....you couldn't make it up.

Wankarella Sat 24-Nov-12 17:47:54

I would be angry I'm unsure I would think of Jimmy Saville, my 12 year old had a lady around 23ish on his MSN, she was vile and I'm certain she had a wonder-bra on...

I told her I was his mother, she said 'I don't care I would shag you too' strange female, she was named a few choice words that day then deleted. Cannot remember what I said to her I am certain diseased and slapper would have been in there....

He is actively grooming multiple children online - if he rapes one of these girls the fact that he has asperger's doesn't make it okay. You need to report him.

How would you feel if your child had been talked into sex with him and all along another girl's mother had known it was happening, but didn't want to rock the boat?

goralka Sat 24-Nov-12 17:43:32

SS involvement

waltermittymistletoe Sat 24-Nov-12 17:41:58

Why the hesitation in involving police? Genuinely curious.

goralka Sat 24-Nov-12 17:37:03

I might just do that MammaTJ - tomorrow I plan to visit one girl's mother that I already know and get some information about exactly who they are and where they live....I feel that I need to do more without actually involving the police

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