Mumsnet Talk

No matter what is said I always focus on the 'negative' and then go round and round trying to work out if I have damaged my child in some way.

By way of example DS1 is doing well in all areas and the teacher is happy with his progress. She did say that she found him to be a bit of an enigma and quirky.

All I want is to go into school and for the teacher to say 'DS1 is a wonderful child and a pleasure to teach'. It never happens.

Being an enigma and quirky is a positive as far as I can see!

YABU

But OP - if that's all the teacher said you wouldn't be happy! It's good to get feedback.

If he's doing well and he's happy and the teacher is happy that's pretty close to perfect, surely?

OP - DD's teachers do say she is a wonderful child and a pleasure to teach <preens self>. I'm left feeling "is that it?"

Well if that is the only negative then he is doing very well. There is nothing wrong with being quirky

I've had 'pleasure to teach' and no negatives. The teacher was crap and didn't know my DS, nor was she interested in getting to know him well enough to talk about his personality.

Enigma = self-possessed
Quirky = an individual not a sheep

Yanbu BUT....my DD is 8 and in year 4 and this year I had the first ever good report of her that didn't set me into a mad worry. Every year since she was 3 the teachers have been worried or dissatisfied in some way. So hang on in there...my DD is also quirky.

I don't think that is a negative comment at all.

I do understand all about parental guilt though. You are not alone.

Ds1 was described as an "oddball" by more than one teacher.

Many times DH and I had to stop for a drink (or 2) on the way home from parents' evening.

Your DS sounds like a bright, interesting person. Try not to worry.

redsky I get that too with my eldest.
This year though her teacher made the exact same comments as previous teachers but also advised me on some things she could work on even more. It felt less of a waste of time, actually.

I'm with redsky - always great reports - we are in and out in a couple of minutes allowing the teacher to catch up with his appointments!! I always wonder what the others are talking about wehn they are in there for 15 minutes and wonder if there is something wrong with my child that they have so little to say, but at the end of the day once they have told you they are perfect there is not much else to say

Yes - I meant to say that I always make a point of asking the teacher what we can do to support/help/encourage at home.

thank you for talking some sense into me. It's true, I do appriciate the fact that the teacher is trying to work out DS1 and I do think she is a very good teacher.

DH is a teacher and has had parents evenings all week and said he described a child as quirky this week too, so I was able to ask whether that was a good thing. He said yes, but I detected a hint of uncertainty in his voice..............I have a feeling this is all down to my own insecurity

How old is DS?

Funnys
DS1 (7) teacher described him as an 'interesting character'

I worried about this too. Even though he's doing great - I just wondered what do they mean?

I need to get a life.

I feel the same - the teachers seem to go round in circles and how many different ways can they say 'your DS is lively' - I almost wish they would just say 'he's a b*****y pain in the backside' because I am sure that's what they are thinking . I asked the last teacher exactly what she would recommend to improve his behaviour, told her not to worry about being 'blunt' with me but she couldn't really think of anything. Doesn't help that I am old enough to be most teachers' mother . Fortunately things seem to be getting better now ...........

I think it's also because he is now in Yr2 and every first parents evening has followed this pattern.

I do like Beers analysis though, so thanks for that

3little it's just so difficult isn't it. To me he is a happy little soul with lots of friends.

I'd settle for a teacher who could actually describe my ds. He's in year 4 now and it's happened once, in year 2. I'd be happy with quirky.

DS1 is nearly 7 Mrs

My dd (aged 8) is quirky; I positively embrace that!
I shall hold out for enigmatic - that would be the icing on the cake as far as Im concerned. (Not being sarcastic here either.)

I think quirky is good. As long as he is not disruptive or unkind to other kids.

Not everyone is the same. Ds1 was always a bit of a square peg in a round hole, but he seems to be finding his place in the world now.

Once out of school, there is room for talented, clever people, even if they are a bit "individual".

Just like my DD Funnys she has taken ages to become more "normal" and more capable generally. Her teacher this year says it's like a different child...she's been a "late bloomer" academically according to the teacher but has gone from being 2 levels behind in maths and literacy to 2 levels ahead of expected for her year.

Teacher actually asked "Has anything changed in her life?" All I could think of was "Erm...she's joined Brownies...could that be it?"

My child has ASD. I never had a chance to go to a parents evening for him because I was called in tri weekly to discuss his "issues".

This is in no way a lecture OP, it's all relative isn't it? But I'd love to hear MY child described that way. I would be dancing on air as I left and filled with happiness for days after.

Just a thought .

I remember a friend of DS1 (in the sixth form) saying to me:

"We all love (ds1) but he lives on his own little planet. No-one else knows what goes on there."

no he's not disruptive or unkind at all, if anything on the quiet side in class, a bit of a perfectionist and slightly anxious. He also loves play fighting and wrestling and got a yellow card the other week for playing too roughly. In fact as I type this I can see exactly why she thinks he is an enigma!

I got told by DS1's English teacher (first parents' evening of secondary school) that he was too 'badass'. If you knew him (total goody-goody, no detentions, polite and respectful) you would realise quite how speechless we were. Fortunately every other teacher seemed to be talking about the right child and he got an award at the end of the year for consistently great behaviour and attitude. It's now a family joke to call him 'badass'!