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to wonder if the concept of a 'yummy mummy' is a feminist issue, a class issue or just my issue

(135 Posts)
IveNoIntentionOfMakingCupcakes Sat 13-Oct-12 20:24:51

Yesterday, I met a father who made a comment about me being a 'yummy mummy'. At the time I smiled, was slightly embarrassed and also slightly irritated but I wasn't all that sure why?

Maybe it was just because he was a smarmy git but maybe it was something more. I have only ever heard the term used to imply that a woman is attractive and/or that a woman is middle class. It seems to me that the whole concept of 'yummy mummies' implies that there is also a group that are not 'yummy' and that's quite insulting really. AIBU?

snooter Sun 14-Oct-12 09:22:19

Glad you think so lola. Your spelling isn't.

Sparklingbrook Sun 14-Oct-12 09:24:28

I do think the term implies someone with too much time on their hands.

SirBoobAlot Sun 14-Oct-12 09:31:00

Think BOF covers every angle of why this is both annoying and insulting.

It makes my skin itch a little. Because I was a "young mum", it was a term thrown around a lot in the groups I went to for a short while. Every time I heard it I wanted to vomit.

YouMayLogOut Sun 14-Oct-12 09:53:22

SirBoobAlot I've been put in the group "young mum" even at over 40! It's as if being a mum of young children makes a woman "young" not in terms of age but in being an easy target to be patronised.

LolaDontCryOverSpiltBleach Sun 14-Oct-12 09:56:02

Nice to see your insulting nature covers the internet too.

I can't stand people who think they are superior to others, especially when there only crimes are doing something differently, Never mind someone who works full time probably thinks your inferior too.

How sad.

achillea Sun 14-Oct-12 10:01:36

Judging by appearance is wrong and says more about you than about anyone else.

Judging people by their spelling is much the same thing.

Mrsjay Sun 14-Oct-12 10:09:49

WinkySlink Sun 14-Oct-12 00:03:16
In my understanding a Sugar Daddy is an older man who spoils his young girlfriend, not his daughter..not sure if that was wht you meant by princess, MrsJ

yes that is what I meant

wheresmespecs Sun 14-Oct-12 10:12:02

def a class thing (as well as being sexist, obvs - 'she's had a baby and you'd STILL want to do her! Cor!' etc)

A 'yummy' is the opposite of a 'pramface', to use an even more unpleasant term. Both might take time and effort to do hair/make up/organise a 'look', but you'd know the difference. It's money and class.

monkeysbignuts Sun 14-Oct-12 10:14:22

I bloody hate that expression!

LadyFlumpalot Sun 14-Oct-12 10:17:34

I hate it, because it is taken out of context. It should be Yummi Mummy and it means:

Young Upwardly Mobile Multiple Income.

Not, that the mummy in question is attractive.

wheresmespecs Sun 14-Oct-12 10:21:12

That's interesting Flumpalot - is that where the expression came from? I never think of a yummy as working, whether they are on mat leave or being a SAHM - just as having a wealthy family or high earning partner.

LadyFlumpalot Sun 14-Oct-12 10:25:51

I believe so Wheresmespecs. I seem to recall learning that the phrase originated in the 80's to describe families where they weren't necessarily married, maybe had two mortgages on the house, in their own names and both had affluent, maybe city, jobs.

Soditall Sun 14-Oct-12 11:18:39

I'm not middle class and get called it a lot by men and women.Some women say it as if I'm doing them some diservice hmm I'm not keen on the term to be honest.

I have no idea why being a Mum comes into how you look?

ithaka Sun 14-Oct-12 11:28:31

I always thought of it as referring to middle class women who don't need to work - that it how it is used in my village (not by me, I hasten to add).

Sort of like a 'Boden mum' - the kind who makes being a mum her 'job' and is always going for runs/to lovely lunches/coffee shops while the rest of us schlep off to work.

The yummy mum will mature into a 'lady who lunches' of which there are many in my area.
I have to say, it all sounds lovely to me and I am proper jealous while I work my fingers to the bone for a meagre crust (snivel).

freddiefrog Sun 14-Oct-12 11:29:59

Round here it's used to distinguish the mums who make an effort with their appearance from those who don't, are SAHMs, meet their friends for lunch, go to their hairdressers, etc

But, it's not meant as a compliment, more of a you are a bimbo who is neglecting your children by spending a couple of hours getting your hair done and depriving them by buying yourself pretty clothes. It's usually used sneeringly towards the better off mums

Personally, the word 'yummy' is at the top of my shit list

snooter Sun 14-Oct-12 12:04:59

I judge people by behaviour rather than appearance. As for working full-time / part-time - whatever works & suits is fine - I have worked full-time in the past & will again when I have fewer responsibilities. Most of the yummies round here look down upon those of us normal folk who can't be bothered to straighten our hair & get tarted up for the school run. One even had her full face on & stiletto heels at 6am when a load of the kids were dropped off for a school trip - ridiculous. The rest of us were barely dressed.

WorraLiberty England Sun 14-Oct-12 12:07:59

Why is it ridiculous though?

It's not something I've got time for or could be bothered with but I don't understand why it's ridiculous if someone else has.

LolaDontCryOverSpiltBleach Sun 14-Oct-12 12:11:36

At the school gate my friend & I refer to the mums who don't work but spend all day beautifying themselves, having tennis lessons, driving badly in huge unnecessary cars etc etc as the yummy mummies. We both go to work part-time, scrub up nicely when required & are happy to look normal in jeans & flat footwear most of the time.

That was a very appearance based post for someone who doesn't judge that way.

You are still doing it in your last post, maybe she got up an hour early to put her full face on. Did she tell you where she was heading afterwards?
Maybe she thought the rest of you were ridiculous for being barely dressed.

And they may look down on you but, you are the one posting right now and looking down on them.

LolaDontCryOverSpiltBleach Sun 14-Oct-12 12:15:23

Because it is different to what she would do worra Sorry snooter but the way you are posting reminds me of someone who once posted how they didn't understand why the mums got all dressed up and over thought what they were wearing for school drop off and then went on to say why doesn't she just wear some nice jeans a white top a floaty cardigan a nice patterned scarf and lighter makeup and some converse ''like i do''

angeltulips Sun 14-Oct-12 12:18:47

Where I live (posh part of London) it's definitely derogatory - it means a mother who is shallow and superficial and who doesn't have much going on in her life, but is always perfectly groomed. They either don't work at all or have a vanity business (cupcakes, jewellery etc).

Good looking/well groomed mothers who work/do meaningful things are called alpha mothers, not yummies.

There are significant numbers of women who really do fit both stereotypes. I am hoping I am not one of them!

WorraLiberty England Sun 14-Oct-12 12:27:20

Blimey what is it with women labelling and judging other women all the time?

And it does tend to be women who do this

I don't think I've ever heard any of these phrases uttered by men.

LolaDontCryOverSpiltBleach Sun 14-Oct-12 12:45:26

It's quite sad really, DP is personal trainer and he say's it's surprising how many women ask specifically for a male trainer because they feel more comfortable and less insecure.

And of all of his colleagues the only ones who giggle about their clients in the staff room are the females with female clients.

ilovemyteddies Sun 14-Oct-12 12:59:24

@ Proudnscary

grin at SexyDad.

chris481 Sun 14-Oct-12 13:00:27

No man should ever pay a woman a compliment, because to do so implicitly insults all women to whom that compliment does not apply.

If they are going to break that rule, they should use the highly accurate assessments of their own attractiveness for which men are renowned to ensure they only flirt with women who welcome it.

snooter Sun 14-Oct-12 13:10:35

I really couldn't give a flying fuck about what the yummies think of my appearance. One asked me once if I'd had my eyes LASERed because I was wearing my contact lenses instead of my glasses, so my appearance had obviously been clocked. It's their superior attitude that pisses me off. If you think my attitude superior then you ought to come & meet some of these shallow individuals. They rate each other by size of car & designer labels.

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