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To think working F/T with a baby is REALLY HARD?

(56 Posts)
JacqueslePeacock Tue 09-Oct-12 20:33:18

I don't know if it's just me being rubbish but I am finding it so so so bloody hard. sad

My baby has just turned one and i've gone back to work full time. I say "gone back" but actually it's a new (quite stressful) job, with a commute. DH is also working full time. My baby is in nursery and that's OK - he's settling in well when he's there. But at home he clings to me like a desperate little limpet and wails if I have to put him down, which is heartrending and at the same time maddening.

Often I don't get home from work until 7pm when he's just going to bed. I'm still breastfeeding morning and night, and now frequently throughout the night - which I think is down to my baby's new separation anxiety. He just won't settle for DH at all.

My house is a tip which makes me depressed just to look at. Today I seem to be starting with a blocked milk duct or (hope not) mastitis, because I didn't have time to express at work. I'm also getting over a bug that DS picked up at nursery (par for the course I know). I just feel like quitting. I love my career and know that I am not cut out to be a full time mum, but my god, I didn't expect it to be this hard. Success in my field depends on meeting certain kinds of performance targets, and I just don't see how I can do that. I'm struggling just to stay afloat.

Am I being unreasonable? My mother thinks I'm just (i'm paraphrasing) lazy and need to toughen up. She's a bit of an old cow so I'm not taking her too seriously, but it has got me wondering.

KenLeeeeeee Tue 09-Oct-12 21:32:31

YANBU. I only worked 24 - 30 hours a week and I found that nightmarish and went back to being a SAHM after a year of it.

A cleaner is an excellent suggestion. You will find a balance if you juggle around a bit and find a groove that suits you. Could you ask your employer to be flexible over your hours, so you perhaps do an extra hour a day but only do 4 days a week? I'm pretty sure that's what my SIL says she does and although it's still nowhere near easy, having that extra day at home with her dd is nicer.

NellyBluth Tue 09-Oct-12 21:32:53

Heh... DP mentioned the other day that he wouldn't mind if I got pregnant again now, the sheer thought of it makes me shudder. I'm barely managing now!

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Tue 09-Oct-12 21:33:57

Dishwashers are brilliant, not least because all the dirty dishes get stored away out of sight rather than stacked up on the side looking messy.

BrianButterfield Tue 09-Oct-12 21:41:39

See, DH mentioned another to me, and I thought "ooh, another year off work...mmm..."

Viviennemary Tue 09-Oct-12 21:47:05

It's just about doable if you have a cleaner. Otherwise not possible without much tearing of hair, arguments and stress and bad temper. That's what I found.

ButtonBoo Tue 09-Oct-12 22:05:07

I feel your 'pain'! Going through exactly the same thing myself.

I went back 2mo ago. Work 4 days a week with slightly longer hours to accommodate not working on Weds. Am still bf morning and night. My house is a tip. My ironing is piling up. My kitchen floor is filthy and you might just catch legionnaire's disease from my bathroom!!

Trying to be a good mum, a good employee/manager, keep on top of cleaning/laundry/food shopping etc is just not happening. I feel like I am doing everything at about 50%. Sucks! And for some crazy reason...I want another baby!!!

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