To be a little surprised as what the MW just said?

(40 Posts)
bonzo77 Sun 07-Oct-12 14:17:35

In hospital following a little bleed at 27 weeks. Possibly brought on by shagging on Thursday. So I mentioned we might give it a miss till baby is a bit nearer term as i cant deal with the stress. Otherwise very sweet MW said I shouldn't starve my DH, he might go elsewhere! I honestly doubt it!

LadyEdith Mon 08-Oct-12 19:25:24

Pressed send too soon.

Good luck Bonzo.

LadyEdith Mon 08-Oct-12 19:23:58

Some years ago I had a prolapse of the uterus and had surgery. The consultant came round afterwards and I had a list of things to ask him along the lines of 'how long before I can do x y z' - swimming, driving, that kind of thing. I got to the last thing and blushing, (unbelievably really considering how many times he's looked up there and had his hand up there), I said 'and how about sex?'.

His response was 'Not today thanks I've got a full clinic!' grin

bonzo77 Sun 07-Oct-12 23:19:19

Jesus. It was a day of it. Said MW had some trouble getting a trace as baby very active and has lots of space so said I should press a finger on the sensor as it can help. It didn't an another came in, sorted it and told me off for fiddling and shouted at me to relax. I told her I was following instructions and her grabbing at my hand was not relaxing. Stupid fucking cow. Then when she was discharging me told me to stop worrying as it would make things worse. I can't be arsed to complain, I've got a lot on and better things to do. But I have resolved to have as little contact with MWs as possible now. Had considered a vbac, but will now be pushing for ELCS at 39 weeks. And for early discharge after. Physically I now think I'm fine but am knackered and very emotional.

monkeysbignuts Sun 07-Oct-12 18:35:34

moomin I put different weight on with each pregnancy (less with my larger baby) & still had big un's.
some times midwives are a little clueless ;)

monkey daft isn't it, ds1 was 11lb 2 and I'd spent most of the pg in hospital on a drip because I couldn't keep anything down!

honeytea Sun 07-Oct-12 17:49:46

I hope you are ok OP, what a stupid thing for your midwife to say!!

fertility specialists also say stupid things, before my DP's sperm test she said to us "you should avoid ummm.... ummmm... um (blush) ummmm "being together" for 3 days before the test" my DP said do you mean we shouldn't have sex? and the fertility specialst blushed and said yes, then DP said I assume I should also avoid masturbation? she was very very flush. It was crazy that a person who's job it is to try to help people get pregnant couldn't talk about sex.

dondon33 Sun 07-Oct-12 17:49:20

Christ!! that was unprofessional of her.
Her concern should be for the safety/health of your unborn child and not whether your other half is getting enough sex.

She probably was joking but it's in bad taste.

monkeysbignuts Sun 07-Oct-12 17:38:18

I was worried about my baby being big (I am 39 weeks now) & my midwife told me massive"don't over eat!" wtf lol
My last baby was 8lbs 15 & she was really long! my first was 8lbs 2 & also long so i really don't think food comes into it.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sun 07-Oct-12 17:35:33

Fake a misogynistic joke...therefore...unacceptable.

BigFatLegsInWoolyTIghts Sun 07-Oct-12 17:34:49

Put in a complaint. Women like her need bringing up to date.

cory Sun 07-Oct-12 17:22:40

She sounds like my GP, who when I went to consult her in tears about dd's failure to thrive told me sternly that my first concern should be to go into hospital to have my fanjoy re-stitched "because the best gift you can give your little girl is a father" hmm

Fakebook Sun 07-Oct-12 17:18:03

It sounds llike a joke to me.

bonzo77 Sun 07-Oct-12 17:14:38

This is dc2. I know about health visitors my last one came in, played with my cat and had a quick look at my reasonably tidy house and sleeping baby and said she couldn't imagine there were any problems, this looks lovely. Where did I get the cat? And left. Never saw her again!

itwasallyellow Sun 07-Oct-12 17:14:01

How innapropriate, I'd have replied with.

Well if he does he obviously wasn't dh material so it will have done me a favour.

Bloody hell, the last time we had sex was before I found out I was pg and I'm nearly 22 weeks. We won't be having sex until the baby is born.

Dp seems to be managing fine

OrangeImperialGoldBlether Sun 07-Oct-12 16:49:55

My friend is a midwife working in the clinics and says they ask every pregnant woman about domestic violence and give her a leaflet. Some have partners who are very reluctant to leave their girlfriends/wives alone for a second and the midwives are very suspicious of those men. Virtually no woman admits it to the midwives, hence the leaflet.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 07-Oct-12 16:08:23

OP, if you think she's bad, wait until you meet your Health visitor wink

NervousAt20 Sun 07-Oct-12 15:56:45

shock I can't believe she would say something like that even in a "jokey" way. Hope your okay OP

bonzo77 Sun 07-Oct-12 15:53:32

Glad it wasn't just me being a bit hmm!

Thanks for asking, all seems to be fine and should be home tonight, after a ctg and said MW inspecting my pad <boak>.

rogersmellyonthetelly Sun 07-Oct-12 15:47:32

I think I would have commented he would be a poor man indeed if he can't restrain himself for 3 months for the sake of his child!
Can you imagine someone commenting that a woman going elsewhere because her other half had a condition that meant they couldnt have sex for 3 months? me neither. Sexist ridiculous comment and frankly insulting to most men.

marriedinwhite Sun 07-Oct-12 14:45:52

Well as they are discussing sexual relationships and other sensitive issues I think many of them need to do so a little more sensitively - just saying - because from experience they were a little too inappropriate a little too often in my experience and didn't know when to back off.

Hairytoe Sun 07-Oct-12 14:45:06

Sorry the leaflet didnt say that, the midwife herself said that as she handed it to me. I just read my post back and I maybe didn't make that clear!

GoldShip Sun 07-Oct-12 14:43:11

How are you feeling now OP?

GoldShip Sun 07-Oct-12 14:42:46

That's bloody terrible hairytoe ! Why in earth would anyone give those out. Why on earth would they be made?

GoldShip Sun 07-Oct-12 14:41:48

Married - well since estate agents wouldn't be discussing pelvic floor exercises and sexual relationships no it wouldn't compare

But people in all professions make inappropriate comments, the subject matter may depend on the profession?

It's unfair to say theyve 'form'.

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