I had a smear test today and...

[PuppyMonkey]

That's it. Nothing it was ok. I'm now getting drunk.

[Tranquilidade]

I had one recently, didn't hurt at all but was a very strange sensation, felt like she was prodding somewhere up around my lower ribs. As you say, it was no problem, enjoy your drink!

[AgentZigzag]

YANBU

What are you getting drunk on?

[Nagoo]

I'm dreading mine. My innards have gone weird since I had Baby Goo.

I'm going on wednesday, promise.

[whattodoo]

I had mine last week.
I stupidly wore trousers with boots & socks then got all angsty about whether I should keep my socks on or not.
If I kept them on, I'd look stupid. If I took them off I'd look dumb. Hmmmm, still can't decide which would have been the right decision.

[PuppyMonkey]

Chardonnay hay hay.

She had to rummage a bit cos she "couldn't find it" but, it still was ok. I am the smear queen now.

[AgentZigzag]

'then got all angsty about whether I should keep my socks on or not.'

I've wondered that too!

I leave them on as well, it's just a step too far on the intimacy boundary to unnecessarily take off items of clothing

[PuppyMonkey]

It was hot today, so I was in skirt, no tights. I hoisted skirt up no socks involved.

Had a top on too.

[whothefuckputthebuntingup]

Yep. Socks on.

Socks off would be way too like you wanted to make an impression

[AgentZigzag]

'Socks off would be way too like you wanted to make an impression '

That's it exactly

I'm guessing you're not that drunk yet OP, you can still type.

What stage are you at would you say? (so we can track your progression of drunken posting)

[whattodoo]

Phew, glad I kept socks on. You're right, it wouldn't be right to move what are essentially underwear.
But it does rather feel as though I've lost the higher ground when complaining when DP keeps his socks on during sex

[NomNomingiaDePlum]

socks on, definitely. definitely.

i had a surprise smear test last week. gp had to do some footling about and did smear as i was there. i'm divided as to whether it's worse when you haven't steeled yourself or not.

[PuppyMonkey]

Yes typing is not a prob. Tonight for some reason. Autocorrect takes over sometimes though...iPhone

[maddening]

whenever I think of smear tests I remember this woman telling of going for a smear straight after work - having no time to shower she sprayed her bits with perfume body spray - said the dr was quite weird and made a funny comment which made her a bit until she got home and realised that she had inadvertently sprwyed glitter spray - so the dr was presented with a besparkeled fanjo :-) hence the funny comment

[Yama]

I had one a few weeks ago - the nurse was a bit harsh but good news I'm ok.

Can't believe that in Scotland we start smears at 18 but in England at 25.

For those few women it is the difference betwen life and death.

Please protest.

[EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo]

Socks on. I'm in Scotland and I've had more smears than a Tory MP.

I am also drinking......

[PuppyMonkey]

Glittery fanjo brilliant. It must make the day pass quicker for the nurse/ GP to get a surprise package up there.

[AgentZigzag]

No, you're right in insisting your DH should be socks off whattodo, and that's why it'd be inappropriate in a smear situation IMO.

Bahahaha at inappropriately glittered bits

[5madthings]

i had mine done the other week, my top tip is to put your hands into a fist and put them under your bum, it tilts your cervix and makes it much easier :)

i was very impressed as i got the results back within 5 days! it normally takes weeks! all clear here :)

[EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo]

Fist under bum would not help me, my GP makes me lie on my side to take a smear.

[PuppyMonkey]

Oh yes, nursey told me to do the fists under bum when she was rummaging. Will remember that for next time.

[5madthings]

really eyes thats ODD imo and my smears are always done by a nurse and not a gp.

fists under bum REALLY helps, i discovered it when having internals in pregnancy/induction, it makes a huge difference and i said to the nurse i was going to do that and she said 'oh yes please do as it helps' i dont know hwy they dont all tell you do it as matter of course!

[whothefuckputthebuntingup]

What AgentZ said.

Socks off with the sex. Socks on with the smear. Just like kissing in Pretty Woman

[Whitershadeofpale]

I had one done recently, all fine. I'd gone a week before but she said it wasn't the right time of the month to get a good result and to come back in a week, which I did. When I arrived she asked me when my last smear was and I explained it was 3 years ago but I did come last week and you said to come back today. She apologised for forgetting me as she said she saw so many people it's hard to keep track.

10mins later while I've got my legs akimbo, speculum in and she's got a lamp shining up my fanjo she says 'oh I remember you now'!

I was too to ask what was so memorable.

[FanjoForTheMammasaurus]

I am the smear test queen, last time they got inadequate cells twice in a row so had to have 3 smears instead of one before getting all clear..joy

[FanjoForTheMammasaurus]

Also in scotland so my Fanjo has seen more smear action than..err dunno