Hide
Mumsnet

Note: Please bear in mind that whilst this topic does canvass opinions, it is not a fight club. You may disagree with other posters but we do ask you please to stick to our Talk Guidelines and to be civil. We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting. Do please report any. Thanks, MNHQ.

To buy the child my son bit a gift?

(46 Posts)
CoffeeDog Wed 08-Feb-12 16:22:30

I am mortified that my son would ever do this sad

one if the dt's bit another little boy at nursery today - so badly his parents had to collect him to take him to walk in centre he drew blood - alot of blood... The boys are 3 and there was a disagreement over the shiney sticky things sad
Headmistress had a 'chat' with me when i went to collect him. i dont know the other mum or the little boy well they have only been going a few weeks.

Dt seems very sorry about it and is upset and has said he wants to get his 'friend' a present? Should i take him to get a little car and make a card or just leave it?

WowOoo Wed 08-Feb-12 16:24:39

It would be a nice gesture, yes.
Was he very very frustrated about something? What had led to that?

scuzy Wed 08-Feb-12 16:27:24

well if it comes from him and its his idea i think its a nice thing to do. but dont start buying kid's presents every time he bites cos believe me you'll be broke. i had a biter, thankfully grew out of it though he was alot younger and it was mostly teething but felt awful hearing about what he did or seeing the marks on his cousins.

encourage him to make a car and perhaps give up a small car of his own as at his age now he knows he shouldnt bite and it be a lesson. its good that its his idea. he sounds like a loving boy.

Pepa Wed 08-Feb-12 16:28:27

A little gift and a homemade card can go along way when you are 3....plus the parents will know you are taking it seriously. I think its a good idea.

CoffeeDog Wed 08-Feb-12 16:30:27

he told me in the car that the other little boy kept taking all his shiney squares and he said no but he kept taking them so i bite himshock - other dt was off sick so we had a 20minute ride home together alone today. he has said that next time somone takes his things he will ask the teachers to help him.

He has said that it was naughty and not a kind thing nursey asked him to say sorry etc,, which he has but he is upset as well and asked himself if he could buy his friend a 'present' for being sorry?

southeastastra Wed 08-Feb-12 16:33:11

i think it's a bit weird to do that, a simple apology would be way more sincere imo

scuzy Wed 08-Feb-12 16:33:33

ah he sounds like a lovely little boy OP but make him earn the money to buy it or give up a toy himself or something, all in a calm voice, explaining that it has to come from him.

WowOoo Wed 08-Feb-12 16:35:39

Ah, that's good that he feels guilty and realises.
Tell him that it can only be a small present and the best present would be for him not to bite anyone again.
Ds had a short phase of this. I remember he used to bite me on the arm also. Gently, as if to test me. Strange boy!

scuzy Wed 08-Feb-12 16:36:12

south perhaps if the parent wanted to do it but its coming from the little lad himself and think its a nice thing to do. i just wouldnt be handing him over the few quid to pick him up something.

MooncupandPizza Wed 08-Feb-12 16:37:47

I think, as the idea comes from the little boy, it's not a bad idea..but I think I'd encourage him to make a card rather than buy a present, maybe so it really comes from him?

annalovesmrbates Wed 08-Feb-12 16:38:24

How about your DS making a nice hand made card / picture for the other boy. That's what I got my DS to do after a similar incident. [Blush]

sittinginthesun Wed 08-Feb-12 16:40:05

I think a home made picture is nice - we have only had one incident with ds2, when he really lashed put at his best friend at nursery, and hurt him. He was so upset, and knew instantly that he was wrong (more upset than his friend in fact). He wanted to do a "sorry picture" and we gave it to him the next day.

CoffeeDog Wed 08-Feb-12 16:40:17

I was just going to nip to tesco with the DT and get a 99p car? we have made a I am sorry i bited you card and he has drawn his own 'artwork' all over it.

sittinginthesun Wed 08-Feb-12 16:40:28

Xp Anna!

JaneMare Wed 08-Feb-12 16:40:53

can your DS make the other boy something?

a 'sorry' card or a model?

DD painted a pine-cone in silver paint it did not look like a vibrator and gave it her friend when she pushed her into a puddle blush

i think the time she spent making it gave her a little 'reflection' time too

southeastastra Wed 08-Feb-12 16:41:09

lol at 'sorry i bit you' car, wonder if hallmark are watching grin

seriously say sorry then let it go.

southeastastra Wed 08-Feb-12 16:41:34

'sorry i bit you' CARD

sittinginthesun Wed 08-Feb-12 16:44:00

Lol "sorry I bited you". Just think of the future range available - sorry I snatched your yo yo; sorry I pushed you over because I wanted to be first in the dinner queue...etc

MurmuringClothDoll Wed 08-Feb-12 16:49:15

SouthEast

This card is just to say
Your hand got in the way
My teeth were there
They didn't care
But I do so sorry and so there!

SORRY I BIT YOU!

Aw. I have two DC and if a Mum did that then I would feel a LOT better...it shows you care..and that you'll work with your DSs mistake.

Poor things. (both of them) I feel for both.

valiumredhead Wed 08-Feb-12 16:52:21

I think your ds should make a sorry card but no present.

Sapphirefling Wed 08-Feb-12 16:53:30

I think it's a lovely gesture smile
Dd was the victim of a serial biter whose parents really didn't care. Would have made a huge difference (and probably resolved the whole thing a bit faster) if they had been on board as well.

I would think you were bonkers grin but I know people get a bit funny about biting so it will prob be appreciated.

scuzy Wed 08-Feb-12 16:58:50

but the idea is not coming from the OP but her little lad. perhaps its bonkers as you put it but isnt it a nice thing to encourage him to do? what would you prefer her to say "ah no son dont bother he'll get over it".

porcamiseria Wed 08-Feb-12 17:00:13

I think its a nice idea

dribbleface Wed 08-Feb-12 17:01:30

slightly different but my ds1 kicked his great nanny- think papery skin, blood everywhere. she had given him some pennies for sweets which i made him spend on flowers instead, along with other punishments. he was 2 at the time and still remembers it. i was mortified, to this day i have no idea what came over him, he hasn't done anything like that before or since. the fact that he is worried about it is a good thing.

Add your message here

To post you need a valid nickname and password. Log in if you are a returning member, or join for free.

If you have forgotten your nickname or your password, you can get a reminder.