Hi,
This is my first post although I have been lurking for a while.. I'm 20 weeks pregnant, terrified and not convinced this is normal..
I'm married with a wonderful, supportive husband and have been wanting this baby for as long as I can remember and lucky enough to conceive within a few months of trying.
Thing is I am so scared of giving birth (please stay with me.. prob sound "normal" so far..) I have medical background and have seen 3 perfectly normal non traumatic births a few years ago - it's not that that's scarred me and its not ignorance of how things happen - I know roughly how it's meant to go!
Everytime I think about labour I cry, at least daily. I'm 20 weeks and feel like I'm counting down to a bomb. I think about it constantly, I'm not sure if I'm depressed or not or whether this is phobic behaviour. In no way do I feel I can have a relaxed labour and that I also know that being so tense will make it worse.
Thing is if it is abnormal then what do I do? This baby is going to come out whenever it wants to - I dont want to fight it but I can't imagine just "going with it" either.
I'm scared it will be so bad and i'll be so out of control that when she/he pops out I'll reject him/her.
Despite the advice to read up and face it, I have only opened a pregnancy book twice - once in early pregancy for the current dos and don'ts & once the day before 12 week scan so I would know what to ask if things weren't right. I just can't pick the book up.
To give you an idea, I have told one friend other than hubby how I feel about birth- we went to a shop to look at book that might help - I almost fainted and had to leave the shop..(I'm not a fainty/panick attacky person normally and it was Miriam Stoppard if that makes a difference - nothing abnormally freaky in it!)
Ante natal classes/ discussing with other preganant women fills me with dread, panic and tears again.
That's why I don't want to post in "pregnancy" - they seem to be either normal happy people excited they have found out sex etc who I don't want to upset ( panic breeds panic?...) or they are normal worries like cramps/scan fears/ in other words proper valid worries!
Any ideas? I do want to beat this, I thought I would love being pregnant but I can't see past labour and I hate feeling like this.... Thanks if you have got this far..
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AIBU?
.. to ask for help here as I'm scared of the pregnancy forum...
37 replies
cravingyorkiebar · 02/11/2011 10:33
OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter ·
02/11/2011 10:40
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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