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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get a cleaner?

68 replies

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 08:49

I am working 25 hours a week after a maternity break, mornings, DH has been working afternoons, doing very physical work, he has the children in the morning, we swap. This is not likely to last as his work is not permanent but for now, he is working.

DD is going to school in sept.

DS is not sleeping well. I am shattered, even though DH does not help at night, he is still awake a lot, so he is tired.

The house is chaos, we are stuggling to keep on top of it all. DH does most of the cooking, we just have not got ourselves organised.

I want to be able to do it ourselves. I want us to be able to manage, and I feel a bit like a failure for not being able to organise ourselves.

We don't have much money, but I think I am prepared to sacrifice some other luxuries/non essentials in order to get a cleaner. I was thinking 2 hours a week, just to do some of the most essential things.

AIBU, should I just my own house in order so to speak?

OP posts:

Bonsoir · 22/08/2010 08:52

Do you need a regular cleaner or would a blitz be better? You could get a cleaning company in for a whole day to blitz your house clean while you declutter and tidy?

MountTheFairy · 22/08/2010 08:54

YANBU at all. Cleaners aren't about you being a failure, any more than washing machines are about your failure to wash clothes by hand! If you can't cope, you can't cope. I hope it gets better when DD goes to school and DS starts sleeping.

MountTheFairy · 22/08/2010 08:55

Oooh, that's a good idea too, Bonsoir.

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 08:55

what I really need, is someone to come in and do the jobs I just don't have time to do, the hoovering for example, i never seem to get around to hoovering the house. Dusting. emptying the dishwasher from the night before, cleaning the floors, cleaning the windows! maybe the cooker (would they do the cooker? would i need to pay extra? i would pay extra for that once a month).

If I have all that done, I can feel like I am not just walking in treacle and the rest would be more manageable.

We are not too bad cluttering wise, although we do need to sort out organising in terms of storage. Just don't have the time to do it!

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 08:57

With the blltzing, I do that sometimes. And it just becomes chaos again. When on ML I was determined to get on top of it all before i went back to work, but struggled (i think we made more mess when all here!) but would blitz regularly, so think weekly would be better.

OP posts:

CupcakesHay · 22/08/2010 08:57

No - I think it sounds sensible. if you're tired and can cut back a bit - then I'd just see it like swapping say, going to the cinema once a week for having a cleaner for 2 hours.

Some people are BRILL at cleaning. Some aren't.

I can't clean for toffee - and whereas my friend can clean mop a floor in 10 mins - it takes me about 40 mins!

I'd say it's your money, spend it on what you want!

MountTheFairy · 22/08/2010 08:57

I never got my cleaner to do the cooker, but I would pay extra too! Go for it, if you can afford it.

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 08:59

I quite like the idea of coming home to clear floors. Oh that would be so nice. I would be happy to put a big bucket/box out and have the cleaner chuck all the toys/kids books in it and I would sort out each night. DD is learning to tidy up after herself, but its slow work.

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 09:02

mountthefairy I can do the top of the cooker, do that after dinner each night, but the inside

I want to be good at it, and I try really hard to be, but we spend all our time cleaning. we are just rubbish at it, we spend all day doing it and the house is still a tip. its wearing me down.

2 hours is doable is it? cleaning floors/hoovering/emptying dishwasher/cleaning kitchen sides/cleaning bathroom (now that room is normally pretty clean anyway, so would only need a quick wipe, i dislike a dirty bathroom)

OP posts:

teameric · 22/08/2010 09:04

pavlov you AdefinatelyNBU if I had the money I would get a cleaner!

BertieBasset · 22/08/2010 09:08

Do it! I've just gone back part time and have a cleaner 2 hours a week. She does light cleaning, so hoover, dust, mop, kitchen and bathroom, windows in one room a week and will happily do ironing. That does take it into 3 hours a week though.

Best thing I have ever done. I never get time to do it properly so was doing bits of cleaning all the time. Now she comes in does it properly once a week and it always looks clean.

I do have to tidy up before she comes, which isn't a hassle as we are pretty tidy anyway.

Prices vary hugely though. I was quoted £60 per week for a 3 bed semi!! We pay £8 per hour and it's worth twice as much to be honest.

Psammead · 22/08/2010 09:10

Do it. I would, like a shot. Who wants to waste their life cleaning on top of another job?

Raejj · 22/08/2010 09:13

I love my cleaner.... She tidies and cleans and yes could probably do it myself but with two dcunder age of 2 and at £7 an hour it's worth every £ despite what my mother says

Raejj · 22/08/2010 09:14

Ps mine does the cooker every so often and folds clothes away AND sorts our recycling :)

franke · 22/08/2010 09:15

Of course yanbu. If this improves the quality of your life together as a family then it sounds pretty essential to me. One "bonus" of having a cleaner is that you do have to tidy a bit before they come, otherwise they spend that precious 2 hours moving all your stuff out of the way. If you do a small tidy at the end of every day you will keep on top of it and not have to do a mega tidy just before the cleaner comes.

Tee2072 · 22/08/2010 09:15

That's the first thing on my list to add to our budget once I have more clients. I hate cleaning, I'm rubbish at it, and there are so many other things I would rather be doing.

MountTheFairy · 22/08/2010 09:26

Exactly Pavlov, me too! Seriously, I am puzzled how people keep the inside clean! Really, how? Do they scrub after each use? And even then all the stuff does not come off that easily. And the grill...

Raejj where do you live?? I want yours! I actually really do want a change of cleaner, but we might be moving soon, so I'll wait till then. We also pay £8 per hour, in London.

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 09:39

A tidy is a good thing. I would not want the poor woman to have to pick up dirty socks dhs pants from the bathroom floor! And I am not entirely sure I would want her (him?) to do the bedroom. I sort of like my bedroom being private from everyone apart from the family. If I am ill (was very poorly in pg) I did not like anyone coming into the bedroom to visit me in bed, even when looking perfectly tidy. A friend once just walked right on it as I lie there looking terrible, and I was mortified!

I am so glad I am not being unreasonable. We have worked very hard to reduce our expenditure, we have little luxuries these days, tbh we realise we were much too frivolous mostly on food, and eating out, and when DH lost his job and me being on mat leave we cut back significantly. I feel that a cleaner is just the ultimate in frivolity, but its not is it? Its sanity. I like the idea of it being like a washing machine! DH has give up smoking, so that would pay for most of the cleaner. I had said to him he should use that money productively for himself/the family (like trips out etc or a game for his xbox) but this might be a good use of his money, he would be up for that.

OP posts:

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 09:42

raejj i want your cleaner too! send her/him this way!

I do have a friend who is a cleaner, but am a bit reluctant to use him as he is a friend and think it might get a bit ugly if he doesn't do it right, or can't make it (doesn't drive, has another job) and also don't want him to see all my mess! like the idea of it being someone i don't know personally!

I was thinking about £8 an hour, so that is ok. Where do you all live, who pay that kind of price? I am in Devon.

I think 2 hours is enough. I am not wanting the whole lot done, just enough to take the pressure off us. For example, if the dishwasher is emptied once a week, gives us a chance to keep it that way for a few days and stack things, empty it ourselves, then as we descend into chaos again it will be reemptied!

OP posts:

franke · 22/08/2010 09:55

No, don't use your friend, but you might ask him if he knows anyone who could do it (I'm sure he would understand your reasons for not asking him to do it). I would only get a cleaner through personal recommendation.

Original poster

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 09:57

ah, i doubt he knows anyone. He cleans hospital theatres! But I will ask around at work.

OP posts:

NotAnotherNewNappy · 22/08/2010 10:47

You are ABSOLUTELY not being unreasonable.

I only work 18hrs a week and DH and I earn naff all but we have given up other luxuries to afford a cleaner for 2hrs every week (scrapped take aways, spend less on teh weekly shop etc).

It has improved our relationship, our family time together and my quality of life no end. Now when we get free time we can take DD out or I can do things I find intellectually stimulating (I've been writing fiction). It's so liberating, I will never go back to spending my free time hoovering and changing beds.

DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!

BertieBasset · 22/08/2010 10:50

I used Gumtree and got references, personal ref is best though.

I agree don't use your friend, I wouldn't feel as if I could tell a friend what to do and would end up getting irritated.

drfayray · 22/08/2010 10:56

YANBU.
I work full time and DH works away interstate Mon-Fri (we live in Aus). I used to feel resentful about cleaning (which I loathe and consider a pointless job as it all gets dirty again like five minutes after!!) at the weekends when we could be doing other stuff. I now have a cleaning service come in once a week for 3 hours. Worth every penny.
No more arguments about whose turn it is to clean or who did more etc etc.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 22/08/2010 11:00

I'm thinking about getting a cleaner. I work about 60 hours a week so cleaning is the last thing I want to do. I need to declutter first though. Do it, anything to make life a little easier.

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