We need to talk about reproductive coercion.

(33 Posts)
HelenaDove Sun 27-Mar-16 20:04:50

This thread has been prompted by a poster who has mentioned that she has sadly experienced this on another board.

I googled "reproductive coercion" and one of the top searches that came up was "how to tamper with birth control pills" That means it must be being searched for on a very regular basis.

I find this very very alarming.

Ive also seen a childfree by choice journalist being trolled on twitter on a regular basis.

Are men like this really so threatened by the fact that women may like to have more freedom and not choose to be a parent until they are ready or choose not to be a parent at all.

I have no doubt in my mind that the kind of man who would troll someone for making this choice is either at best someone who would be dismissive of and/or minimize reproductive coercion and/or at worst someone who may even consider doing it themselves.

Im horrified that the phrase i mentioned above is being Googled so often.

HelenaDove Sun 27-Mar-16 20:06:03

I googled "reproductive coercion" to see if i could find a helpful article for the poster on the thread.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Sun 27-Mar-16 20:52:22

I was on the other thread.

That poor poster, horrible history. I'm a bit embarrassed to say I've never really given reproductive coercion much thought previously.

PalmerViolet Wed 30-Mar-16 00:09:29

I have come across a case before now where a woman was confined to a bedroom until her 'partner' impregnated her and then chained to the wall until she had passed the time at which she would have easily been able to access abortion.

This was part of an incredibly abusive relationship.

It happens. More than people would like to think.

Keepithidden Wed 30-Mar-16 14:25:03

Yet another taboo subject that needs to be brought out into the public realm. There are few depths that some men will not stoop to.

lorelei9here Wed 30-Mar-16 16:08:11

ugh. Palmer, what you're describing is clearly covered under criminal law but I think tampering with pills and condoms should be covered too.

Sadly I don't know it's a taboo subject - I think people excuse it under cover of "desperate for a child".

WomanWithAltitude Wed 30-Mar-16 23:54:04

I think it's an aspect of domestic abuse that doesn't get much coverage at all.

If you were to ask the average person, they would probably think that reproductive coercion was when a man's partner chooses not to have an abortion so he has no choice in becoming a dad. That's an issue that gets mentioned often, and tends to spark off lots of misogynists claiming that men should be able to force an abortion or disclaim responsibility. (Completely ignoring the autonomy of the woman of course)

Real reproductive coercion is far more serious.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Thu 31-Mar-16 00:00:51

When you look at the amount of domestic abuse that is triggered by pregnancy/child birth (it's around a third of all DA, iirc) then you have to assume that a significant amount of pregnancies are a 'cover' for starting DA. Pregnancy makes women vulnerable: men who want vulnerable women will cause pregnancies to happen.

HelenaDove Thu 31-Mar-16 02:48:34

It is absolutely horrifying. And to see the phrase i mentioned in my OP as a top search term i was stunned. It must be being searched for hundreds of times.

PalmerViolet Thu 31-Mar-16 10:17:11

Yy Lonny

Can anybody PM me with a link to the fred?

There's one in Relationships where I was the first to posit that the OP's pregnancy wasn't as accidental as all that. Since I read a comment a whole back about a guy who deliberately removes condoms, it's been plaguing my kind.

And that's just condoms. I'm even more horrified by the concept of abusers tampering with the pill. FFS. shock

BreakingDad77 Thu 31-Mar-16 13:43:31

DW's ex was like this trying to talk her into getting pregnant (even though later she found he was cheating on her etc).

But then again this could present at the start of the spectrum on wanting a certain gendered child. Family friend has had several children previously and doesn't want anymore but partner 'jokes' they will get them drunk to get a boy.

HelenaDove Thu 31-Mar-16 14:27:23

jezebel.com/5978759/why-are-some-men-pulling-out-womens-iuds

Keepithidden Thu 31-Mar-16 16:53:38

Those are horrible and shocking stats Helena.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Thu 31-Mar-16 20:43:05

Men pull out womens IUDs shock

pearlylum Sat 11-Jun-16 15:37:41

But I have read threads on here where a woman wants more children and her OH doesn't being given the advice to get pregnant by "accident" by stopping the pill.
It works both ways.

Dervel Sat 11-Jun-16 17:19:23

No it's not the same, and I say that as a man currently raising a little boy as a direct result of being flat out lied to about birth control. It is without a doubt the most anxiety inducing, and unpleasant thing anyone has ever done to me, and I'll no doubt have to deal with the legacy of that for both my child and myself.

However it's in no way a fair direct comparison for a multitude of reasons. Mainly I didn't have to face the physicality of a pregnancy which takes a physical toll up to and including death.

Its very kind of you to consider how us men get shat on by the occasional woman, and I don't think anyone would deny that, but please don't in my name shut down discussion on systemic and cultural biases that disadvantage women. Any discussion that doesn't place the biological and physical strains placed on women front and center misses the point imho.

ChocChocPorridge Sat 11-Jun-16 19:01:46

Yes, it's abhorrent to intentionally sabotage birth control, but also fundamentally different when that sabotage puts someone's life at risk rather than your own!

MoggyP Sat 11-Jun-16 19:09:12

"It is absolutely horrifying. And to see the phrase i mentioned in my OP as a top search term i was stunned. It must be being searched for hundreds of times."

That's not necessarily the case, because it looks at both the terms being searched for, how well they fit what it 'reads' of the sites and then ranks by things such as how well linked the site is, or if it has paid to return a higher placing. And how many people click on the returned links.

Did you? Because that would gave confirmed its placing.

It is an unsound assumption that those who look at a particular page are this who wish to tamper. It might be people like the MNetters you might have just encouraged to search and then look. Or people conducting research. Or campaigners. Or people who fear they may be a victim.

Or women who wish to disguise an 'accident' well (there are enough posts even on MN - a site with many posters who recommend straight dealing - who suggest this)

Yes, highlight a issue, but no, don't make search engine result a central point in your argumentation.

pearlylum Sat 11-Jun-16 19:49:27

dervel your concern is understandable.
*However it's in no way a fair direct comparison for a multitude of reasons. Mainly I didn't have to face the physicality of a pregnancy which takes a physical toll up to and including death.

Its very kind of you to consider how us men get shat on by the occasional woman, and I don't think anyone would deny that, but please don't in my name shut down discussion on systemic and cultural biases that disadvantage women. Any discussion that doesn't place the biological and physical strains placed on women front and center misses the point imho.

I would however suggest that reproductive coercion of women , however disgusting is very rare.

VestalVirgin Sat 11-Jun-16 20:11:15

I would however suggest that reproductive coercion of women , however disgusting is very rare.

You mean to say, reproductive coercion BY women, do you?

Because reproductive coercion BY men, done TO women, is par of the course for many countries, so common no one even talks about it, and judging from the threads on mumsnet, MEN DO THIS VERY VERY OFTEN IN THE UK.

AnyFucker Sat 11-Jun-16 20:17:17

There is a current thread on MN where this subject is at it's very heart.

We cannot ignore the fact that once women are pregnant/under the cosh of early years childcare that socially more often falls to her she is very, very vulnerable

Some abusive men use this to their advantage. I this have seen many instances of this, so I do not agree it is rare

AnyFucker Sat 11-Jun-16 20:18:23

Oops last sentence a bit jumbled, but you get the gist

SomeDyke Sat 11-Jun-16 20:19:02

"I would however suggest that reproductive coercion of women , however disgusting is very rare."

nymag.com/thecut/2013/05/when-men-sabotage-birth-control.html

Research reported here gives figures of 15% across socioeconomic groups. Hardly rare then.

DetestableHerytike Sat 11-Jun-16 20:24:03

I agree with MoggyP that the google result shouldn't be given too much weight as an indicator of frequency; women might be googling to ensure it doesn't happen to them, say.

Regardless of that, though, this is a serious issue. And of course, thousands of women a year are victims of rape, in many cases the rapist will be utterly indifferent to the pregnancy risk.

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