This is awfull - refuges closing

[NormaStanleyFletcher]

www.theguardian.com/society/2014/aug/03/domestic-violence-refuge-crisis-women-closure-safe-houses

This is so sad. I am lucky that I have never needed this kind of help. Is there anything we can do?

This has been in the works for a while with the 'austerity' cuts and the 'beyond violence?' report's agenda to gender-neutralise partner abuse.

Roshni in Notts closed in 2012.

There's probably lots to do - donate, sponsored xyz, fundraisers like discos and so on.
Plus writing to your MP or MSP about funding.
Volunteering, maybe? Depending on the centre. The best thing might be to ask your local refuge what you can do.

Writing to MP? Local Councillors? Finding out who the local council's funding committee members are and lobby them.

Heaven forfend that DV is seen as the gendered crime it is, so much better to be blind to that.

I agree that there should be better provision for men, especially gay men who are fleeing abusive relationships, but better provision for men shouldn't come at the expense of provision for women. There aren't enough places for all the women who need them as it is.

I'm glad you started this thread OP as I was just reading that article and felt profoundly depressed. And really fucking angry! A place of safety with specialist support is so important in enabling women leaving abusive relationships. I was also thinking what can we ( ie MN) do. There's 4 million women visit this site, could we get MN on site and get a petition worded or something? Don't know how to do that but I don't want to just let this go. It's too important. What do people think?

< hi to Captain Chaos >

• on side, not site!

This should be posted in Relationships too. They have a dog in this fight.

I feel like one of the terrible consequences of the meme that we are post-feminism is that we have this idea that feminist projects like refuges can be safely left to the state. But the state is not pro-women and it can't be trusted to do this work. Lots of the front line workers are women but the policy makers are mostly not and the policies are not. IMO the whole approach to spending on domestic violence is anti-woman. The state will pay police officers to ignore the calls to arrest the man, solicitors to prosecute and defend him, judges to judge him, prisons to imprison him, parole officers to parole him -- how many thousands, how many millions spent on the perpetrator, and the victim is begrudged a few pounds to feed her kids and a safe places to hide with them.

My mum worked for WA and I am ashamed to say I have never bothered. I should figure out a way to help (beyond direct debits, though that is always helpful. /me puts link: WA Donate

or one offs: "To donate £3 to Women’s Aid simply text the word ACT to 70300"

I've

I've just reposted this in Relationships.

Why not just provide places for abused men?

I've just seen the thread about this in AIBU and I am fucking bouncing off the walls.

It seems like the council tendering processes are basically designed to shut down refuges as women only spaces.

God forbid women should have a women only space when they are fleeing for their lives.

As an American feminist, I find this very disheartening, especially considering that the refuge movement was born in the UK and directly influenced the birth of the domestic violence shelter movement in the US.

I wish that I could do more to help from this side of the Atlantic.

have donated (bill comes out of DH's account hehehe)

rutters1.... no one is saying that there shouldn't be provision for men, especially gay men, who form the largest number of men who would need to use the service. However, that provision shouldn't be at the expense of places for women.

I posted about this on AIBU - didn't see your post before, sorry. Would be great to get some more discussion about potential action on there, people seem keen.

I feel like marching! Going to try and make it back to the UK for MWR I think, it's in March usually isn't it?

This contrasted with that "women against feminism" thing that's going around - I mean one of them is "I don't need feminism because my boyfriend treats me well". Makes me want to shake someone!

@CaptChaos

Well it looks like the provision of places for women is at the expense of those for men, need a bit of fairness don't you think?

No it's not. It's a totally separate issue.

I would like to get a petition going and would like MN to get on board, to put pressure on Theresa May to ring fence the funding for women's refuges. Any other things anyone would like to put in a petition?

I'm so angry about this, I really want to be able to harness the power of MN ( 4 million women?) to do something about this.

Tanocot begrudged is right

Spotted this in my Twitter feed Domestic abuse victim sanctioned and left with £2 to live on.

www.opendemocracy.net/5050/dawn-foster/whose-recovery-gendered-austerity-in-uk

rutters1.... god alone knows why I bother to engage with you but....

No, it's not at the expense of men at all.

The first women's refuge was opened 40 years ago. In all that time, no group of men has come together and thought, 'Well, fuck me, that's a good idea, why don't we do it for all the men who are in abusive relationships!'

No, what they've done is bleated on about how women should be doing this for them and done nothing. Hell, MRAs have even had the woman who opened the very first refuge on their team for a while now, why didn't they ask her how she did it?

I'm sure you're completely different though. A leading light in raising money for ManKind, providing space in your home for abused men, like the first refuges did and not just coming on to the feminist board on Mumsnet asking why women aren't doing that for you.

As expected..arrogant, abusive tunnel vision

FYI from the article in discussion:

"The Wolverhampton Haven, which has run the refuges for 41 years, is having its funding from the city cut by £300,000 and – as it struggles to maintain services – has been forced to reserve some of its places for men, even though it has had no male referrals to the accommodation so far."

I'll take that as a 'Yes, I expected women to do this for me' rather than my more hopeful one at the end then. As expected, abusive, lazy and rather saddening.

Oh, and for the hard of thinking.

As I feel I made completely clear in my first post. I believe there should be more provision. That that extra provision should be made available to men, especially gay men and not cut into already massively oversubscribed services for women.

Interesting article in the Guardian.

Should domestic violence services be gender neutral?

Remember not to go BTL though....

That is an interesting piece. I disagree with the implication in the second part that "non-feminists" are needed to address violence against men. The power and control issues that are at the heart of the feminist analysis of domestic violence are present in many relationships where men are victims.