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AIBU to just not want to argue with men anymore?(31 Posts)
I'm fed up. All over the real world all over the internet, I got an earful from two twats on my friend's facebook page yesterday.She made the mistake of posting a picture that said women should not be any man's "waste of time" or something to that effect. Totally uncontroversial but apparently she is being sexist and it is equally important for men to know their own dignity and not be abused by women etc etc..and I just thought fuck off. I got in to it with both of them at first and then I was like why am I wasting my breath? They don't get it they never will, and the fact that upsets them means they want women to continue to know their place. So I blocked them. Should I keep arguing?
I just can't imagine seeing a little picture that says people of color should understand their worth and jumping all over it and being like white people have it bad too! It's obvious that being white comes with a privilege in my country and that I should be happy when other people are happy and feel good about themselves. I wish I could start a world wide public service campaign that says women, minorities, people with disabilities are just people and by trying to improve their lot in life it does not reduce your lot in life.
No, relationships can definitely hinder feminism, dh and I have been together nearly a decade and in that time he has seen the side effects of my militant feminism I pull him up on anything remotely sexist now and feel it's my duty to teach him .. he does sometimes take the piss (good naturedly..but still ifykwim) but he has been pointing out stuff and telling me things that wound him up at work or news articles he has read that are basically feminism 101 and I see it getting through... he probably isn't up to your ds's level yet..but we are getting there!
I'm with you Hells. If it's not broke then don't fix it!
Always loathed that song that starts with a dreadful wailing "You're miiiiiine" and goes on to tell the woman that she's his favourite waste of time, for the sound of it as much as the sentiment; so if that's what your friend was railing at, more power to her elbow! It just so happens that the song was being sung by a man about a woman, so the comment was valid. Yes, OK, I'm sure we can also agree that a woman should not be calling her boyfriend a waste of time either (or should be ditching him pronto if he is), but why does that make the original complaint sexist? Women are human beings, not hobbies. By saying that, I am not somehow implying that men are hobbies, not human beings.
Re the "it happens to men too" knee-jerk: obviously, men being raped, abused etc, whether by women or other men, is a bad thing. It's just not always relevant to mention it at the time. A woman has been assaulted. This is a bad thing. Why jump in and shout "men get assaulted too"? Right here, right now, that is not the issue. We should not stop challenging overt examples of cruelty and injustice just because other forms of cruelty and injustice also exist.
Like, oh, I dunno, that recent hospital scandal where loads of people died unnecessarily from neglect. It is a fact that in hospitals and (tragically) orphanages in certain parts of the world the death rate is higher, but is that really the point when discussing this particular piece of news? These things happened and they happened in that hospital there, and they were bad things. Yes, something worse may well have happened somewhere else, but that is not the point.
Totally get where you're coming from. I can rarely stop myself from commenting but am getting to the point where sometimes I think that either I CBA or I realise I'm not able to not take it personally so I just don't reply.
Luckily on FB a great many of my friends will pile in when an entitled male posts crap so I tend to just post on my wall and go from there.
Hellsbells, I totally see where you are coming from. DH is only here at weekends and I really find it stressful . I feel myself start to get tense around Wednesday, and now I just feel ill. It is not like he is a bad person, it's more like I can't cope, I want my own space. Now that I have noticed, I feel awful.
So glad I don't do facebook.
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