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Sorry last question, how long to wait before getting a new cat?

16 replies

Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 00:32

Sorry last question, darling cat died this week, kids are 10 and 4, dd (10) is pretty upset, ds (4) is pretty unfazed!

So my question is, how long to wait before getting a new cat or kitten?

Three weeks or more?

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cozietoesie · 21/03/2015 01:13

I think it's wholly down to the people concerned, really. I've always mourned my Siamese boys intensely for a day or two and then gone a-looking for a new companion. The cat-shaped hole in my life is just too big and too noticeable to bear for long.

Having said that, I guess it tends to work out at 3 or 4 weeks. You have to check out cats and in turn be checked out yourself by the breeders. (Seniorboy was a slight exception due to circumstances.)

So - I'm not much help. Were you thinking of a mature rescue cat?

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sparkysparkysparky · 21/03/2015 08:37

Hi again. Lost our old darling nearly two months ago ( can't believe it) We are going on a big foreign holiday this year (first non UK holiday for dd) and have agreed on getting a new kitty when we come home.

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Sparklingbrook · 21/03/2015 08:47

I lost my beloved year old cat about 4 years ago. She was found dead, no injuries, nothing.
I vowed to not have another cat as I couldn't deal with the loss (my 15 year old cat had been put to sleep prior to this).

But I lasted about 2 weeks before wondering if there was one out there for me. CP just happened to have a big grey family friendly female in need of a home asap. I said I would 'just go and look'. And back came Sparkling Cat that day. Smile She is an absolute joy on the whole. Grin

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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 21/03/2015 15:16

My Mum lost my gorgeous William last October and she couldn't stand not having an animal around (she is on her own and had lost her dog days before she took in Willibobs) so 4 days later we were at Battersea adopting George.

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PolterGoose · 21/03/2015 18:51

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Tiptops · 21/03/2015 20:18

Have just read your other thread and I think it would be wholly irresponsible to get another cat at all given the road you live on is unsafe for cats. I know people lose multiple cats to the same fate and just cannot fathom why you would take on another cat when the road is so clearly unsafe, as you've discovered in the worst way possible Sad

Please, reconsider or at least adapt your approach to letting your pets free roam.

On the subject of when is too soon, I guess only you can answer that based on feelings. I lost my darling cat last year and now feels far too soon for me, but everyone is different.

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PolterGoose · 21/03/2015 21:03

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Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 22:54

Sparky so sorry to hear.

Sparklingbrook so sorry, but glad you found a new paw-pal!

PinkSparklyPussyCat so sorry to hear but pleased new fur baby for your family.

PolterGoose jolly there is a lot of this cat loss around, I am so sorry but glad you have a new one.

Tiptops with the greatest of respect it is a pretty quiet road and our cat had zero road sense. No idea how we could have stopped him going out. We did try but he loved being out and even managed to open the cat flap at night! Of course I am worried about the road, but really there is virtually no where you can live where there is no road. It is a side road in a village. I think it is probably cruel to force a pet to stay inside if it really keen to get out. But I am not a cat expert and have a friend whose rag doll breed is kept in all the time except for supervised visits to the garden.

To be fair the woman who fosters cats in a neighbouring village said a cat was killed in their village and it is even quieter than our village. I don't think you can avoid cars at all.

Thanks again all.

I looked at kittens today but am looking looking at adult cats this week.

DD seems set on a rabbit or two so we may see if we can foster the rabbits and either wait on the cat or get them together, just not sure.

Whatever happens we will get a cat someday so this is all useful.

The kittens were lovely but I am not being sentimental about it and did not show them to dd.

Any ideas on rabbits and cats in the same home?

Thanks, again.

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Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 23:03

PolterGoose that should be golly not jolly !!!

Tiptops I am sorry if my reply seemed to ignore your concerns. Of course when our darling boy died I felt terrible and wished he had been in but even when he did stay in at night he would still probably have been out at that time of the morning.

We did keep him in during afternoon drive time if we could.

So I wondered what others thought? Am I being unreasonable to want another cat?

I live in a big village, in a side road off a busier road. The accident happened about three doors from our door, so not sure that he necessarily wandered that far.

Would it be better to not have a cat?

Or to not let it out?

We tried with our boy when he was little but he was so unhappy, climbing curtains and trying to jump out of downstairs high up window in dinning room! We did what felt right for him and I am so sad he is gone but I do not feel responsible for it.

Thanks one and all.

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Italiangreyhound · 21/03/2015 23:52

Grammar pedant me!

Or not to let it out?

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Tiptops · 22/03/2015 00:55

Polter I genuinely didn't mean to be alarmist so sorry if my post came across that way.

I do find it upsetting when multiple cats are lost. A friend has lost three cats on the same road, and has finally decided to keep her fourth cat as an indoor. My aunt has had two cats fatally injured by cars, one of whom had previously been hit by a car and survived. Then a third who was injured by a car and so far has survived. She continues to let her remaining cats outside and I just cannot see that as responsible. These are fairly quiet residential streets, not main roads. How many lives must be lost before attitudes change?

Italian No worries - it is your thread and you're free to ignore my concerns if you don't feel they apply Smile

Part of the problem is that although main roads are incredibly risky, quiet roads can often be even more dangerous for cats as they simply don't develop any road sense. A cat is less likely to run out into the path of a constant stream of traffic. My girl who I lost last year was a bit like your boy - she was an outdoor cat for the majority of her life and would often plonk herself in the middle of the quiet cul-de-sac and refuse to move for a car until they were very close/ beeped the horn.

I converted my cats to indoor only three years ago and it was hellish to begin with! They also escaped the cat flap but with time they adjusted and are completely happy and content with being mostly indoors now. They do have outdoor pens so they can get some fresh air. I love how much more of their personalities I get to see since they're indoor cats - lots of mad fits and playful behaviour that used to get burned off outside where I couldn't enjoy it. I also don't miss the anxiety of them not coming home/ going missing, I know they are always safely at home. Obviously you can't guarantee their safety completely but most of the risks like RTAs, diseases, accidental poisoning etc are eradicated for indoor cats.

I think with your new cat you'll have the huge advantage of them never experiencing a taste of the outdoors at your home, or possibly at all if you take on a kitten. They can't miss the freedom if they've never experienced it, so training them to be indoor only would be much easier than adapting your last boy was.

With all the cats in rescue at the moment I would definitely advocate getting another Smile , I would just keep them indoor only/ restrict access to a cat proofed garden. It's not cruel and cats can fulfil all their natural behaviours as indoor pets.

WRT bunnies and cats, depends on the temperament of the rabbit. One of my bunnies chases the cats! Most of my other buns wouldn't be so bolshy. But they're never left alone together unattended for obvious reasons. Your best chance would be to get both at the same time so they're reared with each other. Rabbits make great pets btw, just as interactive as cats IMO.

Good luck whatever you decide!

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Tiptops · 22/03/2015 00:55

Oops, sorry for mega post!

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justyeh · 22/03/2015 06:44

It's never too soon to get another cat, just remember your not replacing your beloved cat you lost, but giving an unfortunate cat in an animal shelter a loving home, has for living by busy roads some cats can live until they die of old age and not get hit by a car, others have less road sense, it's just one of those things, if you let a cat out in countryside with no main roads, your neighbour who might not like cats poisons it or a fox gets it, there's no guarantee what happens, but be assured that a cat in a loving home for 2 or 20 years is happier then an unloved cat in an animal shelter. Some cats remain in animal shelters all their lives, so it's worth giving one a home whether it be indoors or letting it have access to outdoors.

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PolterGoose · 22/03/2015 07:56

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Damnautocorrect · 22/03/2015 08:06

I lived on an incredibly busy road when I got my cats. Moved to a cul de sac and that's where one got run over.

I'm 2 months in (and 2 months of vague looking) and i actually feel like I could contact the rescue's now. Before, there was something stopping me. The one thing stopping me now is the fact I rent and I have had places turn me down because of my cat.

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Italiangreyhound · 22/03/2015 12:39

Thanks all.

Tiptops our ginger cat came to us as a kitten who had never been outside. He was desperate to get outside and really would not stay in! It may be possible with some cats but with others I feel it is cruel to force them.

For me life is about risks, calculated risks of course, and nature is like that too. There are lots of other cats around where we live, it is not especially dangerous. In my view it is just life. BUT I do totally get what you are saying and you make a good case for the fun and enthusiasm house cats can bring. And if it works for you, fabulous. But IMHO if we were all required to keep cats in the house or not have them, I have a sneaky feeling the rescue centres would be full of cats and eventually the practice of keeping cats would become a bit of a specialist pet (just my very humble opinion).

Anyway, looks like the rabbits have won! DD is very keen to have rabbits and I only have the energy for one specide!

I am not sure how you all manage to keep lots of pets! I am knackered with one! I only work part-time, but I am pretty involved in my local church, have a four year old and a ten year old and very limited spare cash! so I feel we can only afford (at the moment) one species of pet! So we are moving ahead with a view to a pair of bunnies!

Thanks again for all your help. I do feel I will be a cat keeper again (does one ever really keep a cat!)

Thank you Smile

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