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This is page 1 of 3 (This thread has 23 messages.) First | Previous | Next | Last Go to page

When your children go to bed later than you when do you get any time together?

(23 Posts)
I obviously mean to chat, watch unsuitable tv, have sex etc?

My dd1 is coming up to 10yrs she is starting to want to go to bed later. We go to bed at about 10pm she has asked if she can go to bed at 10pm when she is 11 so I'm wondering as she'll be too young to go out anywhere in the evenings when will we get any time alone unless we get a babysitter and go out but then we're not really going out type people and usually can't afford to go out anyway.

What does everyone else do?

When I was young (about 12/13) I stayed up until 9pm then had to go to my room to read/ listen to radio, sometimes we'd be allowed to stay up later at weekends or if we were on holiday.
Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 22:31:09
We let our DD's choose thier own bedtime at 16. DD3 is 17 now and she often choses to go to bed at 10. Actually the same bedtime she had when she was 15. On the other hand our 19 year old is rarely in bed before 12.30.
Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 16:29:58
BTW.. my 8 year old normally goes to bed a t 8pm, unless its choir practice which ends at 8pm, so then he is in bed by 8.45pm...bit late, but hey -ho !
Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 16:27:56
good for you Ecentrica... have a good sexy weekend.. F>U>N>
You let them choose their own bedtime by about 15 when you cant stand arguing with them any longer about what time they go to bed. Especially at the weekends , Fri and Sat nite.
My DD 18 plus went out yesterday and hasnt come back. She went clubbing then stayed at her friends, so we didnt get woken up in the early hours...great. She is working today so even more peace here. !!!!
DD2 is 11 and goes at 9. DD1 is 13 and I can just about lever her into her room at 9.30. They go a bit later at weekends - in bed by 10. DH works silly hours and goes at 7pm.

I am so sexually deprived I am lusting after anything male (or female).

DH and I are planning a weekend away soon just so we can have sme sex, go to bed early and lie in in the morning.

Drives me bonkers.
Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 15:04:27
we had a 9pm bedtime until I was 16 i think
my mum always went to ed at 10pm so after that she'd come in to the lounge and say goodnight and 'isn't it time for bed' right until we left home grin
even when I came home from uni I always felt like I should go to bed at 10pm, lol
now I go to bed at 10pm still and read til 10.30pm grin
Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 14:50:17
I was always strict on bedtimes, putting them back a little each birthday. Both DSs are allowed reading time when they go to bed.
DS2 is 11 and bedtime is 8.30pm school nights and 9pm weekends and holidays.

DS1 is 13 and until recently his bedtime was 9.15pm school nights and 10pm weekends etc. However after some negotiation I've recently allowed him to go when he wants at weekends and holidays. He's usually in bed not much after ten and he feels he has much more freedom so it's stopped a lot of arguments.I'm often in bed long before him but DH is a night owl so DS's seldom last up. School days he's still in bed for 9.30.

Know what you mean about the "watching unsuitable t.v.". I don't like him watching some of the stuff that I want to see such as Ashes to Ashes or Waking the Dead, nor do I want t.v.s in bedrooms ,
LoveMyGirls - a 10/11 yr old going to bed at 10 is far too late in my view.

When I went to boarding school the bed times (lights out, in bed) were as follows and I think they still apply today if a teenager is physically active and at school today.

11/12 8.00 p.m.
12/13 8.15 p.m
13/14 8.30 p.m
14/15 8.45 p.m
15/16 9.00 p.m

In the 6th form we had to be physically in our bedroom by 10.00 pm.

My view is they go to bed at a certain time and are allowed to read until a certain time after that but not just wandering about the house. Our DS1 is 9 and is already pushing the 8.30 boundary whenever he can at weekend but normally in bed by 7.45 and allowed to read until 8.15 p.m.

We are also having a lock fitted to our bedroom door next week. The last few months we have increasingly found our DSs are impinging on our privacy a little too much. The boundaries need to be set if people are living together in the same house and I certainly do not want DS1 wandering about the house at 10 pm by next year.
Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sat 04-Jul-09 08:54:55
DD is nearly 13 and she goes to bed at 9pm. Well, she goes to her room at 9pm grin. I don't mind if she reads or whatever, it just gives me and DH a bit of unwind time.
DS is grown up and goes to bed when he wants, but he never comes out of his room and god forbid that he would actually want to talk to us. (Except when he wants something, food, money etc hmm
we haven't had evening time for 10 years now. The teens go to bed late and have done since they were about 7 and now I go at 9pm with dd2.
We just watch unsuitable TV together grin
Basically you don't get time together at all until it reaches the point that they are either "out" (so you spend your evenings worried about where they might be) or holed up in their bedrooms hating you. Then they go to University and you get too much time alone together.
This is page 1 of 3 (This thread has 23 messages.) First | Previous | Next | Last Go to page
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