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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Porn.

16 replies

piggybank40 · 16/02/2013 03:50

I was looking through the laptop I share with my son who has just turned 16 tonight .Just different files.I wouldnt be shocked or upset if i had found some internet porn.But what I did find has disturbed me,although i dont even know what it is I saw.My son smokes pot with his friends.I dont exactly approve,but rather that than drink alcohol,which I know he doesnt do. For the last 6 months or so, he has been socialising with school friends more,which I was really pleased about,rather than being stuck in the bedroom on his own on the XBox. Sometimes he sleeps over at his mates house along with one other friend.They play on the XBox, listen to music,smoke a bit of weed and usually fall asleep about 4 in the morning.All harmless teenage stuff. Tonight I came across this folder on the laptop.A harmless enough heading.I clicked it and there was a recording being made in what looked like an upstairs room in his friends house.There was no sound.Someone was holding the camera,and there was the hand of another person doing something to someone else. The person who was having things done to them,because of the angle I cant tell if it was male or female.I think it was female.I also think the female was rather small, and pre-pubescent,or else all their pubic hair had been shaved off.It actually,by the size of this persons tiny buttocks ,looked like a young child that was having this done to them. The film only lasted for about a minute,if that,then it stopped.It was filmed in January this year. If my son is experimenting with someone ,male or female,his own age,then i dont mind at all.But the body shape of this person seemed so small,that its just freaked me out a bit.Im writing this at 3.45 in the morning.I didnt bother going to bed.I wouldnt have slept anyway. Are him and his friends sexually abusing a young child? Ill,of course,ask him about the video tomorrow when he comes home.He will, of course,probably have some perfectly rational explaination.Yes, I know that some teenagers are very small for their age,so can look younger. I just can`t get the image out of my head though.

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DifferentNow · 16/02/2013 03:58

I have chills OP. Of course you must call him on it and use your instincts to decide whether or not he responds honestly. I hope very much that there's another explanation.

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SavoyCabbage · 16/02/2013 04:08

How awful. I would pursue this to the bitter end.

Even if you find out, and are certain that the person was above the age of consent, I would be worried that he may be involved in a sexual situation with two other people involving filming at such a young age.

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flow4 · 16/02/2013 10:27

This is your first-ever post piggybank, so I admit to suspecting that you might not be for real.

However, assuming you are, here's what you need to do:

Take a copy of the video file.
Take it to the police and explain how you came by it.
Talk to your son and prepare him for being interviewed.

There is absolutely no way you can do anything else. If you have in your possession a video of teenagers/adults 'doing something' to a pre-pubescent child, then that's not a parenting dilemma - it's a police matter.

Just the video itself is illegal because it is a recoding/images of children involved in sexual activities (and remember your son himself was under 16 at the time it was made, so legally a child). Sharing it is also illegal. If it's on your laptop, it's probably on someone's mobile phone too. Let's hope it's not on FB or Youtube as well.

I'll hope for the 'best case' scenario - that it's another 15/16 year old (I assume you would have seen if it was a doll). But it needs investigating. If your son was involved in abuse, the police obviously need to deal with it. If he was involved in something short of abuse, he needs to be 'warned off' making or participating in videos like that.

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piggybank40 · 16/02/2013 11:41

Thank you for your frank reply.Hardly slept all night.And sadly,yes,I AM for real,with a real 16 year old son. Will read the other comments now.BTW,If I EVER had proof of anything involving children,regardless of whether he`s my son,I would have absolutely no hesitation in reporting him,and his mates.

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AngelWreakinHavoc · 16/02/2013 11:47

Jesus wept.

I really hope you are a troll and this is not real.

If You are real You need to take the laptop to the police immediatley!

Not only could your son be/be involved with abusing a child but you will also see yourself in deep shit for posessing child pornography!

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piggybank40 · 16/02/2013 11:48

Hello,I just re-read my message,and it implied my son had just turned 16 tonight.He was actually 16 at the beginning of February.This was filmed the month before,so he would have been 15. I looked all over the laptop for other files,but found nothing.

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flow4 · 16/02/2013 14:01

Well that's something. But they will probably have filmed this on a mobile phone and uploaded it to your laptop, so there may still be other videos somewhere...

piggy, I feel for you - this is a nightmare situation. You say "If I EVER had proof of anything involving children,regardless of whether he`s my son,I would have absolutely no hesitation in reporting him,and his mates" ... I'm sorry, but you do have proof of something involving children. That is what this video is. :(

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ScooseIsLoose · 16/02/2013 14:24

Have you spoken to your son?

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atacareercrossroads · 16/02/2013 14:29

Do you know its the friends house? It could be something downloaded off the internet. A lot of porn 'actors' look younger than they are and the films are made to look amateurish so it could just (I say just, its still fucking rank tbh) be a porn video.

Have you spoken to him yet?

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BookWormery · 16/02/2013 14:36

It is child porn if the person was 17 or under. Different to the age of consent.

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flow4 · 16/02/2013 15:00

I was assuming that piggy recognised something that made her sure her son was involved (the friend's house or her DS's arm, for instance)...

But even if he's not, piggy's son has put a video on her laptop that appears to be of children under 18 involved in sexual activities - with one apparently much younger, which would automatically make it abuse. The police need to talk to the boy about what he knows, even if he has no direct involvement himself.

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atacareercrossroads · 16/02/2013 15:16

I not minimising it at all, just saying it might not be anything to do with her son or friends, I agree it still needs to be reported but if I was op I'd speak to my son first.

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piggybank40 · 16/02/2013 17:31

Hello everyone and thank you all so much for your advice and comments. I couldnt stand it any longer,and phoned him up at his friends house.Told him he was in serious trouble and to get his arse home ASAP.! On the phone he was like,"What are you talking about?".I didnt want to discuss it on the phone with him though. He came in and I showed it to him. He told me it had been passed all around the school by everyone about 2 years earlier,and a lot of people,including my son,had copied it on to their own devices.I told him straight if he and his friends are abusing a young child I will report him to the police. He said,"Look,Can you not tell she is using a webcam on her own laptop?Can you not see the laptop screen at the side? This girl has sent loads of webcam films of herself to loads of people,I dont know who she is; no-one does. I think shes our age,but she shaves herself down there,thats why she looks younger." To be fair,when I looked closely I could see someone had filmed it off a laptop onto a mobile phone,or whatever. I spoke to his friends mother ,where my son stays over sometimes. She told me categorically and emphatically there are NEVER any girls in her house, of whatever age. She remembered this film going round a few years ago,and knows of a few more,even more explicit ones that go around this particular High School they all go to. My son backed up what this other parent said,saying the video was mild; you should see what some girls post themselves doing,he said. The mind boggles. I feel relieved there was a rational explaination for it all and I do feel I over-reacted to it. It just wasnt the type of porn I was expecting to find,I suppose. But I did have a thorough talk to him,telling him copying this type of stuff is completely unacceptable,and I was furious with him for having it on my laptop. He had it on some mobile device and said he had completely forgotten all about it,or else he would have deleted it ages ago. It has now been deleted,I`m pleased to say. But I told him I will be keeping a careful watch out for anything untoward on the laptop in future. Panic over.

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BookWormery · 16/02/2013 17:53

You have not overreacted.

If the police knew about this he could go to jail and/or be on the sex offenders register.

I think you need to make that explicitly clear.

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EuroShopperEnergyDrink · 16/02/2013 18:03

I hope you haven't let him off lightly.

That video of that impressionable young girl was probably done in confidence for a boyfriend, and it has been circulated around without her consent.

You need to contact the school and let them know, and have a serious talk with your son about respect and ask him how he would feel if someone did this to his sister or girlfriend or female friend or cousin.

What the girl is doing on camera isn't ideal, but your son and his friends passing it around and watching it and sniggering and blaming it on 'things girls do these days!' is a million million times worse

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flow4 · 16/02/2013 19:27

I'm really glad your DS wasn't involved in making it (I assume you believe him or you would not be so relieved). But he and you both need to be absolutely clear that possession of that video was a criminal offense, and sharing it is also another criminal offense. Either could get him and his friends on sex offenders register. You did NOT over-react.

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