I have no wish to be normal, which to me equates to dull and boring. I'm quite happy with DD being fiesty, and opinionated, and too tall, and lazy at times, and beautiful, and untidy, and kind in ways that shock me. She is just HERSELF.
I would be happy if dd was normal in the sense of without mental health problems. I can even see that she could conceivably keep the same personality, the same essential her, just without the crippling anxiety and depression. In the same way as I don't think her personality would be spoiled in any way if her joint disorder could be cured.
But wishing for this isn't going to magically make it happen. The joint problems are genetically determined and there is good evidence to suggest that the same gene may be causing at least some of her mh issues.
Yes, I agree with that cory. I know ds would be different if he didn't have Asperger's, but I would put up with a little bit of difference if I could make him "normally" happy, iyswim.
Unfortunately we (and they) have to play the hand we are dealt.
Do you think she will improve joint-wise as she gets older? Because there is a lot of evidence the mh issues tend to even out when they grow out of the hormonal stage (though it can be later for kids with mh issues than for others), so hopefully a lot of the depression/anxiety will ease as she hits 18 or so - you just have to tread water until then .