Ungrateful daughter tweeted her "crap" christmas presents

(75 Posts)
Fatcontroller1 Wed 26-Dec-12 21:31:26

Anyone else had an ungrateful outburst from dd?

Hmm. Well there's the usual load of threads on here from adults complaining about the crap presents they received from their adult mums/mils/relatives. Is that different then?

Or is it different cos it is twitter? Would it be ok if your dd started a MN thread? Or are you only allowed to start complaining about presents when you reach 18?

Don't take the presents back, you gave them to her, they're not yours any more. Give her the receipts, so she can exchange them for things she does want.

There isn't anything wrong with thinking that the presents you received were crap, is there? Or chatting to your friends about that?

The only thing she has done wrong is complain using a media where the gift-giver can see the complaint. That part you might want to chat to her about.

wannaBe Thu 27-Dec-12 10:13:51

iirc there is a "crap presents" thread on mn where (adult) mn'ers can post about their "crap" presents. How is this any different to a teen posting about her crap presents on twitter?

I don't necessarily agree with posting about your crap presents on public social media, but equally I think we have entered a bit of a double standard where adults are essentially doing exactly the same things they consider rude in their offspring.

Sparklingbrook Thu 27-Dec-12 10:14:31

But Bertha these are presents from her parents (I assume), There is a respect issue.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Thu 27-Dec-12 10:15:33

No, it isn't. It's just as rude!

Well, there are those that would argue it's less rude because the people who gave you the gift won't know what you're saying.

so it's apparently ok to be rude as long as people don't know you're being rude.

It's not. It's not ok to complain about a gift. To actually complain about one.

wannaBe Thu 27-Dec-12 10:19:09

"But Bertha these are presents from her parents (I assume), There is a respect issue." Does respect cease at the point you become an adult then? complaining about your crap presents is no less rude when you are an adult than when you are a teen. And yet on mn people are positively encouraged to doo so. It is rude regardless of who gave the present.

MaryChristmaZEverybody Thu 27-Dec-12 10:20:01

Yep I agree with Bertha and all. Complaining about presents is rude, whether it is anonymously, by FB/Twitter, or out loud. It's just that if you do it here the person you are being rude about doesn't know, which I suppose is better for them.

The lesson to be learned here is to not read what your children tweet or fb about you grin.

The same rules apply as apply to the relationships boards here. If you were to read the board, you would assume that all marriages are unhappy, that all husbands are shit etc. But in fact, people only post about the bad things. Teenagers only post when they want to complain - you wouldn't get a teenager posting "my mum is cool, beautiful and interesting" would you?

Rise above it and ignore. If you feel you have to say something, just say quietly "if you don't want them, that's fine, I'll give them to someone else".

FlojoHoHoHo Thu 27-Dec-12 10:20:11

How did you find out she'd put that?

Flyingfruit Thu 27-Dec-12 10:24:45

Another one wondering what she got that was so crap!

Narked Thu 27-Dec-12 10:25:29

First ever post from the OP.

Moominsarehippos Thu 27-Dec-12 10:26:36

You don't slag your (named) mum off in public. It's just not on! We all whinge on here but no one here knows MrMoomins, or littleMoomins in real life!

She has to learn that there can be pretty serious consequences of tweets/Facebook postings etc. bitch about someone, post a photo of your bare bum, name names in Yew Tree investigations... What if she mentioned that some guys girlfriend is ugly? Or that her friends mum is having an affair? Or that a teacher is a letch?

TheSecondComing Thu 27-Dec-12 10:35:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gotta love my dd (13) who face booked how people were complaining about their presents should be grateful and think of others who have nothign, no clean water etc., let alone presents grin <<unusually smug mother>>

i spect she copied it from someone else on twitter, i spect the op dd copied it too, or at least may be did not really mean it.

wannaBe Thu 27-Dec-12 13:00:29

"You don't slag your (named) mum off in public. It's just not on! We all whinge on here but no one here knows MrMoomins, or littleMoomins in real life!" But how do you know that? Thing is that none of us knows who might be reading our mn posts unseen and identifying us from the details we post here.

People here post under far too much of a delusion of anonymity IMO. Fact is, this is a public internet forum, anyone can read what you post and potentially identify what you post from that. I take the view that you shouldn't post online what you wouldn't be prepared to say to someone's face, and need to bear in mind that anyone could read what you post on the basis they might already be reading it.

flow4 Fri 28-Dec-12 11:15:23

I'm a bit bemused by the number of parents who think the best way to respond to teenage bad behaviour is to sink to a similarly low level!

She was rude and disrespectful and stupidly indiscreet; you want to encourage her to be polite and respectful, and to think before she shoots her mouth off in public; you won't do that by taking her stuff and selling it on ebay!

Better to tell her you're hurt and angry, make sure she knows Twitter is public, and explain that no-one feels like giving things to people who are ungrateful... And if you really find yourself not wanting to help her out next time she wants a tenner, well, make the link...

specialsubject Fri 28-Dec-12 11:18:15

fair enough, but I also think that no-one learns without consequences. This is so objectionable that it needs big consequences to make sure that she learns.

sell some of it?

D0oinMeCleanin Fri 28-Dec-12 11:21:15

My two are still at that age where they are lovely and grateful, although dd1 has her moments she got what she wanted for christmas.

Dd2 has been the perfect angel, despite her 'main' present (a laptop, it's literally all that was on her list) not working. I took it back to the shop yesterday and wanted her to tell them she was upset to try and get vouchers or something but when the lady dealing with us apologised and said she felt awful dd2 said "It's okay, it'll get mended and I can have my present then. I saw'd all my cousins on christmas anyway and had a party so it was still the funest day ever"

wannaBe Fri 28-Dec-12 11:24:03

also, there is some irony in responding to someone's posting about them on the internet by ... posting about it on the internet! wink

GetorfsaMotherfuckingMorrisMan Fri 28-Dec-12 11:28:32

I think it's a bit different to people moaning anonymously to strangers on MN about shite presents, than a teenager moaning on her personal account. And she is a bit daft - of course that kind of comment is going to get back.

I would not resort to taking all her stuff away in a strop. That would be mental. The OP doesn't state that she is moaning about the presents from her parents anyway. I would have a go though and tell her how bloody materialistic she sounds though.

Pantomimedam Fri 28-Dec-12 11:29:30

Aw, your dd is so sweet, D0oin, if I'd been the shop assistant I'd have given her the vouchers for being so cute!

flow4 Fri 28-Dec-12 11:31:27

There always are consequences though, special: it's just that adults only have to deal with real consequences, not ones invented by more powerful people. So if you posted something rude on FB or Twitter about a present from a friend, , and they got to hear about it, then either you would lose a friend, or you'd have an almighty row, or you'd apologise, or (if you were very lucky) you might just get away with it altogether. No-one would come and take your stuff away and sell it on ebay, would they?! hmm

gabyjane Sat 29-Dec-12 15:34:10

My daughter did this on her 14th birthday. I bought her a couple of token gifts before we went shopping for the day for her to choose something. her responce was 'youv'e bought me a load of crap'. Her day didnt go very well but she did get a gift she wanted out of me a while on. My punishment was xmas day. She got me..nothing. Nice eah!

MrsDeVere Sat 29-Dec-12 15:44:23

My DS1 has always been like this. He appears to have no grateful chromosome.
I don't know why. If you give him something he looks at it and tells you it comes in a bigger size hmm

Now he is older he gets very little. A few token things because it is pointless giving him anything else. As well as the lack of appreciation he tends to break and lose things.

It upsets me because I look after my things and have always taken pleasure in buying gifts for him and others. All I can do is hope he grows out of it one day.
He has never been spoiled and showered in expensive gifts. He has never owned any designer stuff or brand new gadgetry. I simply do not know where his sense of entitlement comes from.

I am quite sure he was disappointed in his practical gifts this year. Toiletries etc. He will not think 'hmm maybe this is down to my behaviour'. He will think 'this isnt what I wanted. Where is my Iphone 5'

Seriously, the boy is a mystery to me. I am quite certain we are not perfect parents but we definitely bought him up in a home with a work ethic and to appreciate how lucky we are to have a roof and enough to eat (or we tried).

I just hope it pays off one day.

whistlestopcafe Sat 29-Dec-12 15:47:07

Jeez I'm not looking forward to the teenage years if this is what happens.

Astelia Sat 29-Dec-12 16:19:04

whistlestopcafe it isn't what always happens. Teens are all different.

clam Sat 29-Dec-12 16:32:16

whistlestop This isn't "what happens." My two (16 and 14) were absolutely delighted with theirs (dd in particular kept kissing me and saying I'm the best - and dh of course), they help around the house and always ask nicely and thank me for lifts anywhere.

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