I miss the snuggly cuddles. I miss Christmas when they just so believe and you can feel their excitement and just see it in their eyes. I miss taking them to see Santa. I miss the bed time stories. I miss the speling s they used to have to learn. Sadly the homework they get now is beyond my limited intellect so I can no longer help. I actually miss just going out for walks together to the park etc. I miss knowing they are safe.
My sons are 20 and 23 (well he would be if he hadn't died in July)
I miss being able to kiss it better, whatever it was, a kiss could make it alright. I miss being able to hold them tight and sing silly songs and tickle them. I miss being the one who they always came to with their problems, no matter how small or big.
I deep cleaned my kitchen earlier this week, for the first time in years.
I came across the playdough cutters/shapes etc and a few tubs of ELC Soft Stuff, which I suspect have been there for a while, since ds2 is 14. And then I couldn't bring myself to throw it all out, so it's back in the cupboard. Playdough was the one toy that all of mine would sit and play with together for ages.
I also miss the ability to make everything better with a hug or a sugarlump. Now their problems are so much bigger than I am, and I can't take (especially ds1's) misery away. I miss being able to go to bed at night without worrying about where they are or what they are up to.
I miss the curious children they were, and I miss the fact that they used to think I was all-knowing and able for anything.
But I am very, very grateful that I still have all of mine - a few years ago I thought ds1 wouldn't survive his teenage years but he has. Mumof and Mumble, I'm sorry for your losses .
I miss warm little hands. I miss the fact that problems could be hugged away and gone next day. I was feeling nostalgic the other day about the year, 1999 I think, that DS1 was obsessed with The Snowman. He wanted to watch it 20 times a day. I miss them creeping into my bed and sleeping with me. I hate those threads where they all disapprove of co sleeping because I am just I still get lots of hugs nut they are upward hugs rather than down IYSWIM.