flow4 Your reaction was exactly the same as mine. It doesn't make sense, and I told her so, even explaining to her how I found it strange how all of my cousins constantly complain about their children & her response is always "aww, don't be upset sweetheart, we all go through it, it happens to us all, if you need a break you know where I am", yet when my two teens act out (as teens do), her response has been to keep them from me, turn up on my doorstep (first time with a witness) & without asking anything scream at me that I'm an obviously despressed mother in need of social service input. She repeatedly denied saying this to me until her witness told her that she had. She claims that "something VERY seriously wrong is going on in my home" but won't say what exactly & I've had no visits from social services. The school have told her that they believe that the kids are being teens and at most some mediation with me in school (away from her) will sort the problem out. She is deliberately undermining me, she always has, the school are aware of this. She is not a nice person, very manipulative, and vindictive. Whatever reasons (excuses) she has come with for not trusting me with my own children, the social services have told her they are not interested, & that 13 & 14 year olds will refuse to go home.
I have no mental health issues (my GP can confirm this. I have taken antidepressants twice in my life, once when I was 15 & living with her & once when in an abusive marriage to my childrens father). She on the other hand is on antidepressants.
The kids don't see their father because after 6 years of court cases, CAFCASS reports, etc, they issued a court order stating no contact until the children are 16, even though I asked if supervised contact could be considered. He was poking them in the head, every other weekend on the one day he saw them, leaving them with relatives & swanning off to to austrailia for 6 months, etc without informing me. It was deemed he had a vendetta against me, stalking me, threats to kill me & previous partner who ended up hanging himself to which my mother has said to me in front my children "no wonder *** hung himself, having to put up with you" When I went to my mother with my 2 kids with bruises and fingernail marks around my neck from where the childrens father tried to kill me & throw me backwards over the bannister, she stated "well, don't think you're moving back in here" & shut the door in my face, so the police took me to a refuge.
My partner doesn't live with me & I've purposefully not introduced her to him, because the only relationship I have with her is the fact she is the children's grandmother. He has just bought a house and we were planning on becoming a family together there, so we would be moving. I suspect my kids are seeing me really happy and may see my partner as a threat & have told their Nan, we're moving & my mother thinks I may take her Grandchildren away so is giving them anything they want and doing anything they say in a bid to carry favour with them.
She sent my son to her sister-in-laws (who is childless), and although I am confident that he is safe with her, I do feel he will 'play' on her to get sympathy. He has been attending school, but has been boasting on facebook at doing homework during lunchtime.
I don't believe they are safe with my Mother because she is a full time care for my father who has many health problems, including severe parkinsons. I thought they had they own beds, but have found that apparently my brother who claims to be homeless but on full benefits is sleeping in the spare room, whilst my daughter is sleeping in a double bed with her Nan & 5 year old niece (who I've found out my mum cares for overnight for at least three nights a week, free of charge).
My daughter has asthma and eczema, & has only recently had a week off because she was refusing to take her inhalers & got a huge viral infection so I took a week off work. If she doesn't put her cream on, her ezcema becomes infected. This is mainly what my daughter is complaining about to her Grandmother, that I'm nagging at her "ALL THE TIME", "IT'S NOT NORMAL TO NOT BE ALLOWED FOOD & DRINK IN THE LIVING ROOM", "NOTHING I DO IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH" (as in half washed dishes, bins not taken out when she's agreed to do it, not coming home on time from school, or for meal times, you get the drift of where I'm going with this)
I've told both the kids that I love them, telling my daughter that I understand being a teen can be very confusing & if she wants to talk to me, she knows were I am, and have told my son I'm sorry he overheard me & my partner, that I understand his embarrassment, that I overheard his Nan & Grandad lots of times when I was younger, that I'm happy for him, that he's seeing his Dad again & hope they both stick at it, and that I both want & love them very much.
Ive spoken to the police tonight, they said the parent is always the bad guy as I'm the disciplinarian, and get accused of all kinds, that kids 'play' the grandparents, and that grandparents over react. They can go & get them if I report them as absconding and will tell them that if they don't like it at home then go into care, & when you're sleeping in piss-stained mattresses, & you have no playstation, no xbox, no tv, or dvd player & no pocket money or phone credit, you'll think 'shit' - I really had it good at home. Howeverm they have advised me to phone social services in the morning instead, LOL