Help! 12 year olds party ended in disaster ..

(29 Posts)
nortonmumoftwo Mon 15-Oct-12 13:54:16

any help/advice you can give me would be much appreciated -

briefly my now 12 year old daughter had a party at our home and later had 3 friends to stay. To cut a long story short I was awoken at 230 am on sunday morning to find 2 of these girls gone! They had left and walked a couple of streets to one of there homes! I rang one of the parents of these girls and they had arrived safely but I could sense they were not happy. The two remaining children (one being my daughter) were extremely upset and crying. Apparently they had all had a row and sided off into 2 teams so to speak. The 2 girls that left threatened my daughter in our kitchen and she couldn't get out of the kitchen to get me and the other girls that if they did not unlock the back door they would be 'smashing the place up'. There was also a lot of quite hard core swearing from one of these girls. After calming down I got the girls back to bed. In the morning it seemed what had happened was as I wrote before. I was expecting a call from the parent whom I rang and I got it around 10am! After the initial accusation of being a bad parent it deteriorated into a heated row! I gave back twice as bad (regarding the threats and swearing)and it all ended around 20 minutes later! I haven't heard fromt he other parent and have no number for her either.
Basically now daughter is back at school.. I have informed the school that there may be a problem and they have spoken to my daughter today re - remaining civil, staying with other friends, etc which all seems good.

My question is to anybody - did I do the right thing - should I have stayed up until they all went to sleep at aged 12? Any experiences of parties going wrong?

Witchety Tue 16-Oct-12 09:48:31

My girls are now 16 and 18..... Your mum is right, and you will laugh about it one day!

nortonmumoftwo Tue 16-Oct-12 09:54:33

thanks notyummy - thats a good idea about the letter. Funnily enough the other child's parents I haven't heard a thing from! They are probably aware what she is like. You're right about it being common - a lot of her friends have sleepovers of 10 girls! and let them all sleep in the lounge. My daughter just wanted the same. I wouldn't say they were rough friends but the two girls in question were definately 'the leaders of the pack'. They are older in looks/and ways than their years which I why I think they are so popular.

thanks again - best advice yet!

izzywizzyisbizzy Tue 16-Oct-12 09:58:47

Boys must be easier, Ive been hosting sleepovers for 8 boys every year, for 11 years and I have never come across anything like this!!

They all sleep in sleeping bags in the front room, (started age 5).

I probably didn't stay awake once they hit 10.

LaQueen Tue 16-Oct-12 10:02:18

I think you're perfectly safe having a few girls over for a sleepover, assuming the girls aren't prone to threatening behaviour, or pulling ridiculous stunts like insisting on leaving the house.

I just don't know any young girls who would behave like this. And, it's not something I have ever heard about from friends with young teenage girls, either.

Plenty of moans about how they were chatting until 4am, or chocolate stains on the bedding, or someone crying because they were homesick etc.

But, never, ever this sort of aggressive, threatening behaviour.

I think the OP needs to encourage her DD to get some nicer, friends, to be honest.

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