Mumsnet Talk

DD (16) just completed mock AS levels History, Maths, Eng Lit & Politics. Was finding 6th form great fun. Came home the other day to say it had been the worst day EVER! (There have been a few of those) A guy she considered a friend yanked her lanyard of her neck and threw her id on the floor, in the dining hall in front of everyone. She went outside to be met by a friend who when asked if she was ok, DD burst into tears. Teacher come along and brought DD into office to find out what happened. When eventually it was prised out of her, he went off to confront said friend who did the yanking. He has now been excluded and is on a campaign (indirectly) to let her know he intends harm. 'You think you got away with it b***h, I know where you live, ''I'm going to hunt you down & bury u 6 feet under - & the like.
I'm so furious, I'm beside myself. DH wants to go to the police & the Headmaster afterward. DD thinks she's already in enough grief as a 'snake' things will only get worse. We apparently don't understand what its like in this part of London ( we emigrated here 24 yrs ago) . A 'snake' is a death sentence. Really at a loss what to do. I so desperately want to report this, but don't want to make things worse for her. Feel like a tiger with a threatened cub. should I let it go? Am I over reacting? is this how things go for kids these days?

Police - now!

If this was a woman friend of yours experiencing this from a male friend you would say go to the Police, so why not when it is your 16 year old child? Have you got proof of threats i.e. texts, emails, fb posts, voice messages? You are the adult here and need to protect your child in whatever way neccessary, it will only escalate if he feels his intimidation has worked.

This is a matter for the police. This is well beyond typical teenage bullying.

Sixth form students are not small children they are legally responsible and know what they are doing. Stephen Lawerence was murdered by kids of a smilar age. Stephen wasn't that much older than your daughter.

POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE POLICE
Hope that helps.

You need to ring the police now and inform the head teacher.

TBH, I suspect he is all mouth but I agree - go to the police.

Headmaster and the police. This young thug man needs sorting out now!

How much worse can it get? Go to the police.

Ditto Police and headteacher. This thug should not be allowed to get away with this.

Your daughter is receiving death threats, why would you even hesitate to call the police.

Don't just assume he is all mouth as likely as that may be it isn't even worth waiting to find out.

I went to the police recently with a very embarrassed male friend who was recieving nasty threats from an ex. They were incredibly halpful and gave him 3 options - lodge a formal complaint and charges of harrassment and they would begin action right away, complain but not lodge charges yet and they would have a quiet, unnofficial word with her and watch the situation from there or just register the situation with them but request no action so, in the event of any further problems, they would respond quickly and reassess then.

They could not have been more helpful and were very supportive

Thank you everyone for your replies. I'm afraid DD is having none of it. I never listen, she has to repeat all the things again - loudly - and basically I'm the worst mother ever. God this job is sooo difficult. Apparently they are all talk ( she's told me this and I don't listen) Relationship slipping badly. Need to claw back, but don't know how. Its me getting everything out of proportion. 'They' are never going to do anything because she see it all the time on the net - they say all these 'brave' things, but never follow through. So what - I butt out? I'm lost for words.

I would go to the police without her knowledge so that they have a record of it but take no action.

Or, if you think she would go for that compromise, tell her that is what you are doing, stress that there will be no action but should it escalate further (I'm thinking bullying rather than death threats being actually carried out!) there will be a record of it.

POLICE POLICE

You are the adult here and you have to go to the police. She might not like it, but it's the right thing to do. Don't let her talk you out of it. Teenagers don't always know what's best, even if they think they do.

I would DEFINITELY go to the police. I would make sure she knew that she had to report it, and I would escort encourage her to do so.

Once he is with the police I would take it to the ehadteacher who would have come across simlar scenarios many times over. I would ask him not only to deal with this incident through school policy, but also to make sure that your daughter is watched, monitored, supervised etc for the merest hint of any more bullying. I would ensure that the headmaster would know other authorities will be told if he doesn't nip this in the bud immediately.

If there are further problems, I would move your daughter.

For goodness sake, this is death threats with a violent attack, not some silly childish behaviour. And I have no idea how life is in London, but certainly life is NOTHING like this for teenagers in the west country.