Mumsnet Talk

sorry -thread on the back of another thread but....

my niece has turned to me for help as she has the same problem I had as a teenager -she is head and shoulders above her peers and feels like she sticks out like a sore thumb to be fair she does but obviously don't want to tell her that

I was bloody miserable all the way through high school and got called everyname under the sun, and I'm still not confident about my height

has anyone got any experience of confident tall teen girls because while I can sympathise, I can't advise

( she is 13 and 5ft 10)

Aww poor Dniece.

No personal experience by myself (shortarse 5ft 4) but my DD is tall and takes after DHs family.

I worried about her standing out as DSIL always felt conscious of her height at school apparently. DMIL supported her to do karate so she had an outlet I think. My DD dances and I'm sure that has helped her posture. To be honest there's a fair few kids taller than her (12 and same height as me) so it doesn't seem as unusual now.

Its rubbish isn't it. I suppose its just trying to build her self esteem in any way you can.

DD1 is 16 and 5'8 (most of her friends are around 5' 3 and I am a short arse at 5' 2). She used to mind a bit but now she loves wearing towering heels and making the most of her height. She's very into fashion and has amazing legs and I think that helps with her confidence about it now tbh - she is a real clothes horse!

There is a girl in dd's class (aged 15) who is 6'2. She was certainly at least 5'10 at 13. It was a bit awkward at 13 because all the boys were titchy, but now many of them have caught up and she is very much sought after.

She plays basketball and has recently taken up rowing where the coaches have fallen head over heels in love with her and are fighting over her . Would your niece think of rowing? It's a great sport for girls.

She stands up and is proud of her height, which I think is the most noticeable thing about her.

ds who is 13 also has an over-6-foot girl in his year who they gawked at for the first month or so, but now they have forgotten she is tall. She is best friends with a tiny girl (about 5 foot I think), so they do get a few strange looks. But at that age the variation is huge (the boys vary from about 4'10 to 6'2 ish).

At DCs school they send out leaflets for a tall girls workshop.It's not run by the school so not sure who the contact is. The school is in hertfordshire, so may be run local to that but unfortunately don't know any more than that.

My dd is15 and 5 feet 11...i am six feet tall and dh is about 5feet 10.
Tbh her height doesn't bother her....she does a lot of musical theatre which has helped her confidence, her friends are not particularly tall but she doesn't mind.
She is very slim, looks stunning in skinny jeans and boots and has a lovely figure.

She suffers greatly with anxieties and ocd...her height has never been an issue.
I always wished I was about 3 inches smaller, mainly to be able to get clothes more easily. She has so much more confidence than I ever had..I was particularly gawky.

ddis 17 and was5'11 at 13' she's now taller (maybe6ft) i am 5'9 and her father was 6'5 so I didn't ink she'd be short,

she looks amazing, hey boyfriend is 6'4 and they are the most striking couple. she slouched for a while when she was younger but now has lovely posture (and has been spotted by elite models, select models and premier models) but chi pose not to pursue it (as the 'mean girls' had something to say about that ehen it happened)

tall is good.

I would tell her to embrace it and always stand up straight. Is she sporty? It's a great advantage in sports like netball. Like people have said above, girls like this often feel self conscious but ironically, they look stunning.

I guess my advice would be "be yourself" Special and wonderful- dress to suit your body shape and make you feel good and, yes as the above posters have suggested- use your height if it suits you. Play basketball if you want!

I'm actually the mother of 2 titchy girls (5'2" and 5' if she's lucky- and yes I know the youngest is only 12 but she isn't going to grow any more, at the age of 9 she had a bone age of 14...).I tell them the same- find your style and be happy being you- DD1 has this down to a T, DD2 will "grow" into it, emotionally at least!

One thing for sure - teens are mean and will tease you about something. If it's your height then so be it- learn some witty reposte- if you are tall maybe say "Ah poor jealous little thing maybe you'll grow" and pat them on the head or something!

My DD (15) is 5'9. She used to be a bit self-conscious but has got A LOT better recently. She told me she's decided to embrace being tall and actually bought a pair of wedges the other day!

The things that have helped (I think) are:

She plays netball - GD - where height is a great advantage. Could your DN be encouraged to get into netball (or basketball, as someone else suggested). It's wonderful for girls to be sporty and be involved in a club/ team outside school as well as in.

I often rave on about a couple of my older DD's friends, aged 17 and 18 who are fantastic role models. Tall, beautiful, sporty (again, netball players), great fashion sense, hard-working. They looked a bit tall when they were younger but now they are glamorous, leggy, modelly stunners with all of the good stuff (academics/ sport etc) going on for them as well. They have their pick of the alpha males because by upper sixth, there are plenty of six foot tall, gorgeous, clever, sporty boys to choose from. Are there any older girls around who would make good role models for your DN? Could you flag them up?

My daughter has also hung onto a comment that my older daughter's boyfriend made. He said the other day (to my fifteen year old) that he wouldn't ever want to go out with anyone shorter than 5'7 because it would look silly. I doubt it's true but I could have kissed him, she looked so delighted. I always tell her that lovely tall boys (like him - 6'3 and drop dead gorgeous) like lovely tall girls!

On a wider note though - it's hard to be a teen. They all just want to fit in and be in the middle of the pack. I talk to my girls about how every teenager - boys as well as girls - has things that make them feel different or that they feel self-conscious about. There are short boys, desparate to grow; big busted girls who are horribly self-conscious about their boobs; girls who are late with puberty who stuff bras with tissues and dread making excuses when it's swimming; kids with terrible acne that just want to hide; kids with red hair who get teased and (sadly) so on and on and on.

Would you take her out for girly shopping days - look around the shopping mall to see other tall girls who look great and take inspiration from their style? Try things on and play around with clothes to help her find the right look/ shapes/ lengths for her?

You sound like a lovely Auntie. Ultimately, for all of us, it's all about accepting who we are, learning to love and accept ourselves and learning to make the best of what we've been given. Remembering to count our blessings that we are healthy and that there are people who are so much worse off than us.

Best wishes.

Tall= Model!!!!!!!
Personally, I wish that I could be taller!!!! Everyone's unique, so she shouldn't worry about being a little different, it means those around her will notice what a wonderful young lady she will be! Good luck to your DNeice!