Mumsnet Talk

Just as the title says. I am writing a comedy about teenage boys, and a lot of the audience will be parents. I am aware of many of boy's shortcomings, but list your top ones in case I have left some out.

Erm......My teenage boy and two friends found a tape measure I had used earlier. No prizes for guessing what they started measuring but it was the ensuing argument about metric or imperial measures which was really funny!

He's taller than me
Wears his trousers too low and shows his undies ( including school trousers )
Would happily lay in bed all day and play Xbox all night
Eat ALL the time
Opens cupboards / fridge and says " there's nothing to eat ." Shelves are full
Constantly say " Mum , can I have £10 "
Will probably think of more.....

Uses my expensive moisturiser/shower gel.
Leaves a dribble of milk in the carton and puts it back in the fridge.
Leaves wet towel on his bed.
Leaves crusty wank socks down the side of his bed.
Walks about with his earphones on so he can't hear me speak.
Texts constantly.
Brings people for dinner with no notice.
Drinks OJ out the carton and puts it back in fridge.

That's everything that's annoyed me today. His good points more than make up for his annoying habits.

Has an endless stream of mates round eating all the bread
Nicks his Dads socks
Uses my hair straighteners and forgets to turn them off

ds1 (14) has learned that a good way to avoid conflict is to just mumble "yes mum" to whatever instructions I am giving him. And then fail to do whatever he was supposed to.

He's also still very reluctant to wash!

He regularly wants to start a conversation with me about his day at 10pm at night when I'm wanting to go to sleep and he should be heading for bed too.

Attacks food cupboards/fridge like a swarm of locusts have landed in the house and is constantly "re-arranging" his man bits!

Is taller than me.
Eats everything in the fridge.
Leaves absolutely enormous trainers right in front of the front door so I trip over them.
Thinks he knows everything.
Still up for a hug at times though.

1) Doesn't clean his room
2) Mumbles
3) Shouts the house down when on his xbox live
4) Can never find x,y & z when it's under his nose
5) Eats us out of house & home
6) Uses a can of lynx a week ( if he runs out he uses his dads)
7) Never wears a coat, even if it's pouring down outside.

DS2, is easy compared to when his brother was 14/15 (now 20 & a lovely man ). DS1 was moody & argumentative.

Where to start!
"Yes Mum" means "Anything to make you get off my back but I have no intention of doing what you say Mum"
I find remnants of food all round his room, on the windowsill, under his pillow, going mouldy
Keep getting phone calls at work from his teachers - he hasn't done his homework, is disorganised, doesn't have any pens, PE kit etc. Arrrrgh. Like I can do anything about it.
The socks. The trainers. The brand new school uniform. The blazer and tie. All distributed randomly round the house with mud all over them.
Dirty linen basket? What's that? My floor will do just fine.
Why use half a pint of milk on your cereal when a full pint will do?
Unknotting "peanutted" ties.
sigh he's lovely really.

Rings to say he wont be home for tea,10 minutes before tea is being put on the table.

Runs out of his clothes because they are in a stinking heap on the floor... then nicks his brother's and Dad's..right down to the boxers in fact he has nicked his sisters jumpers too...!

Leaves said dirties where they fall...

Opens fridge..inhales contents and wanders off leaving fridge open ..

the damp towels..oh GOD the towels...

'Mum can I borrow (insert any amount here)

BUT I love him

The latest..
Rings me ( using his blackberry which obviously is welded to his hand ) from the upstairs loo to tell me there's no loo roll and he needs some .

As the mother of a 14 year old girl, I read this out of curiosity to see what the differences are. I have learnt that there aren't that many.

Has just gone out with 2 mates saying I've done my room went up its a pigsty but he has stuffed all the stinky clothes in a drawer
7 cups/glasses up there yeesterday
cereal bowls with rock hard cereal on floor
Says his hair looks better dirty looks a fright
Opens new everything like other poster said.Opens all the biscuits instead of using one pack up
Asks if we can have a take away every night even though he knows the answer!

The only way I can get my D to clear bowls , knickers etc away is to pile them up in a dusty heap on top of her lap top so she has to get rid to open it

Constantly goes on about how small I am, he is about 1 inch taller than me but smaller than most of his friends.
Eats rubbish and is as thin as a rake
Will not use deodorant, because he showers 2x a day
Doesn't listen to anything I say
Obsessed with wanting a dog
He is almost 16

Oh I love this site! Giggled and breathed a sigh of relief reading this thread - think I'm losing my mind sometimes, but I'm not alone....
DS2 (16 yrs old)
- will NOT pull his trousers up past his (flabby) arse - thinks the drop down look is so cool - it's so ISN'T, especially when your pants are full of holes
- eats and eats and eats then denies it was him stealing my last few chocs, when he is the only other human in the house
- runs out of money 10 minutes after getting his allowance
- spends hours trying on clothes (his dads, his brother's and even mine!) then leaves them all in a messy pile on the floor
I could go on for hours. However, he just landed a Saturday job at Waitrose so I'll forgive him for a bit!

Shoves everything and I mean EVERYTHING under the sofa.
Socks
Yoghurt pots
Shoes
Shin-pads
Spoons
Crisp packets
Chocolate wrappers
Homework
Computer games
Earphones

.......... thinking of taking the legs off the sofa.

Lynx.

...... socks never get put into wash in pairs. I have a carrier bag full of odd socks.

Lose everything - especially if its new

Sounds like my 3 DD's.

No wank socks but has asked if I'd buy her a vibrator!!!

what did you say?

Think they're always right

Will put washing in the laundry basket once the washing machine has started

Say they need to be there at 'x' o'clock - you're ready to leave and wait and wait and wait and when they're late it's your fault for not driving fast enough

When they've not achieved great marks in a test - it's not their fault - usually the test was sprung on them with no notice (every time?!)

the smell of their trainers

They can't find a school shirt when I've just ironed 15 (3 DS x 5 school days!)

Texting banned when we're all watching a film - and they think we can't tell if they're doing it

Lots more - but daughter due back from school for lunch