Mumsnet Talk

I'm no fashionista but I do like clothes and making an effort with outfits.

I overheard a bit of a bitch-up this morning at school about certain women dressing inappropriately for their age - I don't know if it was directed at me, but it did make me look at myself and wonder if my choice in clothing is a little bit off.

I don't think I dress outlandishly or particularly young - today's outfit is skinny khaki trousers, t-shirt, black and cream striped jacket and Ash wedges. Nothing amazing, but I like it and it looks better than it sounds - well, in my head it did.

So, at 37, with 2 children, what am I supposed to be wearing?

Fuck em. Your outfit sounds great.

I used to when I was slimmer and could wear practically anything! Occasionally I'd think, oh blimey - is this acceptable for a woman my age, or do I look 'muttony'? Now I'm fatter I tend to slope about in stuff that a) flatters my figure a bit more and is 'classic' b) no teenager would be seen dead in, so I don't have that worry!

I'm same age as you and that sounds perfectly lovely. Although I never bother with heels for school gate as it would be a nightmare walking home and trying to keep up with 2 year old. But I would if I could!

Ignore em. They're probably boring oul frumps who are resentful of anyone who makes an effort.

Your outfit sounds very chic.

I've been known to do the school run in full 50's make-up and a leopard print fur coat. You get used to the weird looks pretty quickly

Thanks!

I suppose I feel a little bit self-conscious sometimes. I burnt the track suit bottoms and banished my trainers to the gym that I never go to a couple of years ago, a still feel a bit unsure with clothes - I enjoy putting outfits together, but sometimes I feel a bit shy actually going out in them if that makes sense

I really liked today's outfit, and out with friends at lunchtime I felt really good, but I felt a bit of a sore thumb at the school gates.

I wear wedges quite a lot, I find them quite comfortable, and never run!

I've got a pair of leopard print heels that I'm now determined to work into an outfit next week!

No. Looking dowdy is miles more common and worse.

Ignore them! I'm 52 and would still wear what you describe having on today.

I think nowadays it's near impossible to be mutton ... I think any woman of any age can look truly awful, or great.

I'm sure even a 65 year old woman could wear for example leather trousers with the right stylish classy gear and not look half bad

At 37 you haven't got anything to worry about at all.

That sounds lovely. I'm 43 and would wear that without worrying.

Actually, I don't really care: I love clothes and makeup; I know it makes me different from some of the other mums, but hey, I am so old I am happy with it now.

Sounds a nice look to me.......

I'm a similar age and would wear that outfit happily. Sounds lovely. I love getting dressed up and putting together outfits and often wear silly things like my bright pink suede ankle boots on the school run. Why not? It makes me happy and I don't really mind if people raise their eyebrows.

What you wore sounds great! I hope so and would say that because its similar to my 44 yo style!!!
I only think it's an issue if clothes are very short and/or tight.
The school gates are one of those places where people sometimes have no self awareness. Little groups form, bitching takes over and rude, immature comments are spoken a bit too loudly. It's as if some mums revert back to their own school days as soon as they get near the place!
If a group of catty women are standing around talking about how other people dress, well, they seriously need to get a life! Who cares?! I know it happens because I've seen and heard the way some conversations can veer and I try to never get involved.
I'd say that they are just jealous and maybe don't have the style or money to pull off a trendy look themselves.

They're jealous...ignore them! I'm 36<ahem 46> - and am often aghast at how bloody frumpy some women 20 yrs younger than me are....

Sounds a nice outfit OP - I'd happily wear that

Better mutton than mumsy anyway

Nope, I'm with night sky and Marian, I woudl wear that outfit . I'm 50 with 6 kids . < sticks out tongue>

Your outfit sounds fine, OP. Ignore the bitching at the school gates - dreadful places for cliques to form.

I'm older than you and I wear pretty much what I like: shiny, coated skinnies, shorts with tights, brightly patterned leggings, DMs, etc. I worry about looking a bit "mutton" sometimes, but then I worry about being frumpy more!

They're jealous.

There is a mum at my DC's school who always looks fab. I really admire her. She clearly looks after herself and makes the effort to look nice, although never overdressed. I have spoken to her a few times and she is also a really, really nice girl.

However, a few days ago I was with a group of mums and she walked past. They all started mumbling to each other, "bitch", "who does she think she is?", and things like that. I asked what their problem was and one of them said, "well, just look at her...".

Jealous.

op you sound chic, not mutton. Anyway, at 37 you have nothing to worry about.
I'm older and definitely mutton
Fake fur coat
Fake tan
False eyelashes
The lot
As others have said, its better than frumpy.
Age should be no barrier to anything, its how you wear it.

To be told I look mumsy would be my worst nightmare.

Oh and I hardly talk to anyone at the school. No way do I want to get involved in all that.

I'm hoping retrocutie is talking about me. ha ha

So were these bitchy mums gorgeous, slim and really well dressed? Bet they weren't. They seem jealous to me.
Your outfit sounds great. Go for it

Thanks!

They weren't badly dressed or anything, just a bit more of a Mummy Uniform if you see what I mean, but they frown on people who wear make-up or spend time on their hair in that 'well, I'd rather spend time with my children' way that people have.

They certainly have nothing to be jealous of

I suppose I'm just starting to find my style and confidence and hearing that has knocked it a bit.

Thanks!

Nooooooo....don't give them that power!!!
Offhand comments are so bad because they have probably forgotten every word, but you will always remember because you think they were aimed at you.
Sigh. I know how it feels, but you just have to move past it all. You won't agree with everyone and don't allow these judgy "super mummy" types to upset you. Sometimes I see how other mums look at me and I don't care. My kids are a priority to me, but so am I! I have to wear what makes me feel good. Also helps that dh loves my confidence and how I look.
Wear what you like if you feel good wearing it.

Thanks!

I know I shouldn't have let it get to me, I don't even know for sure that they were actually talking about me.

Usually, I'm far more 'fuck off' about stuff like this, I'm really not sure why I care so much this time.

Next week I am definately wearing my new leopard print heels for the school run!!

Ha, ha carmenelectra, yeah, me too. False tan, false lashes, hair extensions... even my boobs are fake