Mumsnet Talk

I have always wanted a breast augmentation but DH doesn't want me to. Would you not have it if your DH didn't want you to?

What are his reasons for him not wanting you to have one? Is it that he doesn't like the look of fake breasts or are his reasons based more around health concerns and potential long term implications?

Personally no, as it involves the risks of surgery.
It's a major decision, lots to take into consideration.

I know someone who did. Her DH wasn't bothered before, and not bothered about the new ones after. She was terribly boring about it. Then they exploded and she was even more boring about that. We all wished she'd left her own, perfectly nice, boobs alone (for the sake of our ears )

Since it is an unnecssary operation with risks I definitely wouldn't do it if DH wasn't happy (though I wouldn't do it anyway.)

I'd get my hair cut if DH didn't want me to, but I don't think I'd have surgery.

But then, I don't want surgery. If I really really did, I think I'd probably do it anyway.

I'm having a nose job in the new year. If I were still with my exh he'd most likely tell me not to do it and that I didn't need it etc. I would most likely do it anyway.

I would take his views into consideration, but I would decide for myself.

My DH didn't want me to take antidepressants many years ago. Or 'happy pills' as he disparagingly called them. He was wrong, as it happened.

The decision should be yours.

if I REALLY really wanted it then I would go ahead and do it (surgery and the health implications scare me so I personally wouldn't) I Also have a friend where they went wrong and she ended up with horrible side effects and wonky boobs.

BUT if someone told me not to do something I would naturally go out and do it (juvenile)

Dh used to be very anti fake boobs then last year for a fancy dress party as Dolly Parton I stuffed my bra with virtually a whole sheeps worth of socks and he muttered about if I wanted it done it could be an early birthday present .. I must admit I was tempted for about a second 3 days worth of googling plastic surgeons

Your body, your choice ultimately.

My reason for doing it is that I have always been self concious about them.
He loves them which is nice but to me they are very uneven in size.

One is easily a whole cup size smaller than the other.

He says he doesn't like the idea of fake breasts and doesn't think they look nice when done.
I see his point as we have seen a lot of people who get them for just wanting overly big ones and they don't look natural.

I know that you can get ones to look natural if you go to te right surgeon.

We all have different views on whether surgery is a good idea, but this comes down to whether your dh's view of your body is more important than your own view of your body. I think that if this is something which really matters to you then how you feel has to take priority.

Difficult as I would not have breast augmentation. It isn't so much the look as the long term implications, both in terms of further surgery and financially- even good quality implants will need replacing a number of times in a lifetime if you are reasonably young when you have them.

But leaving aside your specific situation - would I do something with my body which DH didn't want me to do? Well, if we are talking a haircut, or a piercing, if it mattered to me enough yes I probably would. My DH's view of my body wouldn't override my own. However, we are talking something rather more complicated and I am not sure that I would do something which involved such a large financial expenditure without us agreeing- not that he would have to approve, but that I think any spending of that level would have to be a mutally agreed thing.

A cup size different is completely normal. Have you tried wearing a chicken fillet in the smaller one for a while to see how you get on, see if you feel more confident, see if DH notices etc.

i wouldn't have my hair cut if dp didn't want me too, but i would have a boob job.

I have tiny boobs (which dp isn't bothered about one way or the other - he's not a boob man). i can only feed from my right, so my right boob is a dd and left is an a at the moment. We are planning a few dc, so i'm anticipating to be left with one fried egg and one satsuma in a sock! I have already said when we're done with dc i am getting them sorted. The money will come out of our savings and that is the price of me bfing. i wouldn't go into debt for it tho.

i had a consultation - apparently you can have teardrop shaped ones which are supposed to look more natural.

"I know that you can get ones to look natural if you go to te right surgeon."

But isn't that the crux of it, though? He whole thing depends on that, and it's virtually impossible to be sure you get the right surgeon...

Presumably everybody think they're going to the right surgeon, and yet really nice, natural-looking fake boobs are rare. I mean, sure, some people probably do want them to look OTT fake, but not everyone, surely.

And the thing is, once it's done, it's done...

I had a breast reduction a few years back and researched for literally years to make sure I got the best surgeon for my particular (somewhat complicated), case. My DH wasn't keen on the idea at all - I would've done it anyway because of the psychological and physical issues which led to my wanting a reduction, but I did need his practical support eg childcare, it was a lot of money and I think spending of that order should be discussed at length etc.

He came along to meet my surgeon, asked questions for about an hour, and said he did support me. He didn't 'want me to' exactly but he was impressed by the surgeon and ultimately could see how important it was to me.

He is delighted I had the surgery - not because of the aesthetics primarily but because of the difference it has made to me. But to be honest I had struggled for a decade with my feelings about my breasts, and I would've done it anyway.

I wouldn't as it involves risk which I am not prepared to take for purely cosmetic reasons (but especially if DH wasn't keen on the idea either).

I also won't get my hair cut (although I'm quite tempted by a shorter style!) because my DH loves long hair and has asked me more than once not to cut mine.

I think most fake breasts really do look fake and you should be delighted that your DH loves the natural you and is not obsessed by some unrealistic image of womanhood. Try buying a gel pad to put inside the bra cup on the smaller side to avoid a lopsided look when dressed, but if he is happy with the naked you then don't worry about what happens when you are undressed. Unless you quite literally have a body dysmorphia issue over this to the point of severe depression I just don't think it's worth the money/effort/pain/risk.

There'd be no point, he's a bottom man.

Mine are uneven (overshares) and he doesnt care one jot. I thought it was normal anyway and never stopped me getting chatted up in the past.

I wouldnt have it done personally as it's non-essential surgery and it all carries a risk. I'd rather only take the risk if I have to.

I totally agree with FellatioNelson. What a nice guy - he adores you as you are, and isn't putting you under pressure to conform to some ridiculous male-instigated ideal. I would never choose an operation involving general anaesthetic and invasive surgery for something that isn't life-threatening - unless it was having such a negative impact on my daily life that I considered it absolutely essential to my well-being.

People always think fake boobs look OTT & obvious because those are the ones that are 'noticed' & that many celebs have. Those that are done well & look natural are not picked-up on or photographed spilling out of tiny tops or sitting under somebody's chin.

I had mine done 4 years ago. After years of being very 'anti' My DH came round & absolutely loved them from day 1 post surgery - his words were that my surgeon was a very clever man

You do your research & then you do more. And then some more. Good luck with your decision.