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Step-parenting

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help me, mother has taken her back!

4 replies

stepmumtoone · 06/07/2010 05:59

so here is the situation for all to read please help i need all i can get right now lol! the begining my partner now had a baby with his ex whos never been quite right in the head depression and a seemingly compulsive need to lie, when his little girl was born the mother was living with her mother(childs grandma) who hated my partners guts for unknown at the time reasons, whilst she was living there he only saw his new baby twice, and didnt get his name on the birthcertificate... she borrowed money from us to put a deposit down on a flat ect and because we believed it was in our best interests (he would see the child more) we never asked for it back. skip a year.... child was on visitation me/partner and childs mother sat down to talk about lies we thought she had told us, childs mother has lied about.. having no food in house (for money), made people up in her head, told us her father(childs grandfarther) had molested her as a child, stolen money, i could go on but you get the picture. anything for attention and sympathy if it gets her money all the better, now she asked us to take over custody of the child till she got some help we happily agreed, she was with us for a month childs mother moved back into grandmothers never got help but because child was with us voluntarily we believed that it was just taking a while to get the help she needed but she still had childs best interests at heart....... they took her, only grandmother is a controlling alcoholic and mother is having dellusions what do we do!!! this was a phonecall last night that told us this i cannot sleep for worrying for the precious little angel who always has a ready smile even through neglect that her mother told us about after we had taken over care of her (not changing her nappy from morning til nnight, not taking her out for days/weeks at a time/ not changing her clothes/FORGETTING to feed her) i have no idea where to go from here please help us we need to protect this child i only let her go because solicitor told me that if we refused access we would be in the wrong xx

OP posts:
mamaloco · 06/07/2010 07:34

Call SS?
just bumping for you, no real advices. Hope someone competent comes along...

Fruitysunshine · 06/07/2010 09:36

You need to make a decision on where you should go from here.

If it was us in that situation we would probably be obtaining legal advice to set things in stone in relation to access. If DH had serious concerns about his ex's ability to look after the children he would probably be applying for a temporary residence order until things could be rectified with the ex.

stacey5426 · 15/07/2010 14:17

Definately call SS and get in touch with a solicitor, from what you said in your post you have a good case for temp or perminate residency order in your favour, with her having a contact agreement.

Hope things work out for you.

stepmumtoone · 20/07/2010 08:46

heya everyone,
thank you for the advice SS are being worse than usless, theyve apparently had a home visit at grandmas house, ALWAYS clean & tidy, and because DSD is always a happy smiley baby theres so obviously not a problem! weve put in an application in for a court date (residency) but thats not coming soon enough how can it be such a long process to help a BABY, seems like the situation is more out of hand than i thought it could ever get. oooooooh i dont know my DP is understandably in bits, i just dont know where to go from here for DSD and her mother who finally acknowlaged she needed help only to be thawted by grandmother who knew that if she had got herself sectioned she automaticly gives up reasponsiblity of DSD for the period when she was getting help. accsessing grandmothers facebook proves it is all a game to her though all aout scoring points 'DONT try get her back she never belonged to you in the first place' and 'loving my bottle of wine tonight knowing ALL MY girls are tucked up safe and sound' being to examples of her trying to point score! just want to scream really really loud in a big field!!! xx

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