DS is 7. He is a lovely boy but he has problems. And I don't know where to turn anymore.
His birth was fine as was my pregnancy. He was a lovely smiley baby. He walked very early and did everything pretty much on time in the first couple of years (his speech was a bit behind but that is common in my family and he saw a SALT from a young age).
As a toddler he got on very well with his sister (as he still does - she is 2 years older) but other children seemed to be a bother to him. If a child came up to him in the playground he would shout "Go away boy/girl!". He also got very annoyed at people doing things he didn't like and would shout at them (singing for example).
He was fine at nursery if unsociable but we weren't too concerned. At pre-school they did seem concerned that he would never play with other children. Finally in the last term of that year he found one boy who shared his interest of digging in the garden so they became friends although DS always called him by the wrong name.
In reception the problems started to show more. He was teased a lot by the other kids and basically shunned. He didn't seem to care at all and got on quite happily but it was hard for me to deal with as I was very worried about his lack of social skills. He would often run around with a stick in the playground instead of playing with others. At one point he had a stick at home that he called 'Sticky' and was distraught when I threw it away (tears for days) as it was his 'friend'. His teacher said he only got upset when someone broke his model at school or wronged him in some way not if they said they didn't want him to play with them or sit near them.
In year 1 the friendship problems continued - one boy played with him sometimes but he was still teased by the others. The teacher put an end to it eventually but then everyone just ignored him. Academically he was starting to do ok but was in the bottom half of the class for everything especially writing. We took him to have his hearing tested (fine) to an OT who said he had hypermobility and proprioception issues. She gave him some exercises to do 8 times a day (impossible sorry!) and a list of things the school should do (writing slope, pencil grip etc). None of these helped much. We also saw a developmental paediatrican. All her report did was repeat everything I had said to her then mentioned something about sensory processing disorder at the bottom.
Now we are in year 2. Things have gotten much worse. He does not like his teacher at all - nice guy but very strict and often not there so there have been many substitutes and this term has been a job share with another teacher. He made one friend but this friend has become very popular in the class so plays with DS less and less. DS does not want to go to school. It is boring. He hates everyone there and sees no point in it. He isn't engaging with his teacher at all (teacher says DS barely talks to him - DS doesn't see the point). SENCO not involved - they will only pass on bad cases (autism). He gets a bit of extra help and a couple of talking groups. His handwriting is appalling - noone can read it. He says his hand hurts when he writes but no grips make a difference. He seems to have made no progress this year.
His other issues are as follows (in no particular order there are so many!):-
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Chewing/ biting - all his collars are chewed up and his bed frame has teeth marks all over it.
Always wanting to eat - he says he is hungry all the time. I try to feed him healthy stuff and not overfeed but he sneaks off and takes stuff and he is pretty overweight :(
Dislikes hugs from everyone but me
Dislikes loud noise - covers his ears usually at people shouting or singing
Takes things literally
No empathy
Sensitive to smell - smells all food before eating, retches/vomits as smells he doesn’t like
Messy eater - generally eats with fingers
Spinning - loves to spoin
Biting and hitting when annoyed - mainly his sister as he seems to reign it in at school
Moody and irritable a lot of the time
Needs to know exact times - upset if things arent the amount of time I say like if I say dinner is in 5 mins and then it takes 7 minutes he gets very annoyed
Senstive to clothes (waistbands, sock seams, shoes). He is naked from the moment he gets home. He pulls trousers down low (which he is teased about at school as his bum is always hanging out).
Unconcerned by dirty or wet clothing - usually comes out of school with lunch all over top.
Late to toilet train (4.5 and started school still soiling) and still wet every night
Acts younger than his age
Mumbles
Can't run fast - his run is ungainly like a gallop and he struggles with all sports
Bad memory - terrible with names of people and things
Not interested in much apart from the computer and playing with his sister. He is obsessed with the computer and it creates a lot of frustration in our house as we don't want him on it all the time. DH is strict on this and DS hates him :(
Doesn't look people in the eye apart from family and usually won't answer when people talk to him (says he doesn't have to talk to them and doesn't want to)
Gets words mixed up - lunch and dinner, hot and cold etc
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Anyway that is a snapshot of my son and his problems. The school don't make much of a thing of it but I think he is slipping through the net. I feel like if we carry on like this he will end up a drop out and depressed playing computer games from his teens onwards!
I don't know what to do. I am looking into sensory processing disorder and am going through the NHS and private as I want to start helping him fast but I know the LA won't accept a private diagnosis.
Can anyone help me? I am finding this so upsetting and stressful and I feel like it is all on my shoulders. DH is so busy with work and he doesn't see the day to day stuff.
Sorry it was so long! I really appreciate it if you got this far 