Firstly, I hope it's ok to post here. I feel a bit of an imposter: it's not clear at this stage whether DS does have SN. He has anxiety issues, but whether that is a symptom of an underlying condition I don't know.
About DS: he has always been incredibly anxious and volatile. He has major meltdowns (hysterical screaming, shouting, and physical resistance,lasting up to a couple of hours) to things that make him anxious. This is the most concerning aspect of his behaviour. Other "quirks" include:
- lack of awareness of personal space and being suffocatingly tactile. e.g. he will grab my face and turn it towards him to get my attention, and he often upsets other children by getting right in their faces.
- worrying and getting upset over things he thinks might happen e.g. crying inconsolably because he thinks he might lose his teddy bear.
- generally being very clingy with me and DH.
- making up random words and repeating them over and over, in what seems to me to be a compulsive manner (hard to explain).
Triggers for his outbursts are: 1. change of routine (e.g. the disruption caused by the snow a couple of months ago caused a dreadful couple of weeks). 2. Tiredness. 3. Frustration, often with himself at not being able to do something. 4. Feeling under pressure, particularly in a performance-type scenario (dressing up, school play etc), 5. Feeling overwhelmed in a crowded/noisy place e.g. a birthday party.
Since starting school he has been having meltdowns before, on the way, and on arrival at school. Not every day; it goes in phases. Some days he is absolutely fine, others I don't know how on earth I'm going to get him into school. I always have somehow, so far, although sometimes that has involved physically dragging him there / restraining him from running away. He is generally fine once he's in and settled down, although sometimes he has outbursts in school, usually when asked to do something he thinks he can't do, or in a pressure situation.
His teacher has been brilliant and has put in place a number of support measures which are really helping. Home-school book including her writing out his full timetable for each day the previous day, so we can go through it in the morning and he knows what to expect. A special task that he knows he has to do every morning to help his teacher. A "safe place" where he can go if he feels overwhelmed in school. She has mentioned the spectrum as a possibility but says she is not qualified to make that judgement, and has asked me to arrange to meet the SENCO, to get her input and discuss whether any referrals are necessary.
I should also mention that he is bright (not uber-bright, just averagely or a bit above averagely so), articulate, passionate and charming, and can come across as chatty and confident.
Sorry all a bit rambly (and this is the second time I've typed all this now as my first post disappeared, so it's even more muddled now!). But, basically, was just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or advice as to what to expect from the SENCO and how to prepare for the meeting (e.g. put together a list of his behaviours and triggers, as above?). Thanks in advance.
