Someone who I considered a friend had posted on Facebook and used the word "Spazztard" (obviously a mixture of spastic and retard). I replied with "Spazztard? Nice." To which I got the reply "You can put it on your t-shirt if you like."
Sorry zzzz I should have been more clear, my (now ex)friend has suffered a lot of prejudice and really horrid attitudes due to being transgender, which is why I thought she'd be more sensitive to bigotry. Both her and her partner have also expressed to me in the past how much they take offence to others saying "that's so gay.", or other versions of using gay in a derogatory fashion. That's why I mentioned it as they are aware of how powerful and hurtful words can be, iyswim?
There are bigoted gay people, bigoted disabled people, and bigoted individuals of every race, creed and colour. I understand you feel your friends life experiences should ensure they are not disableist. I think they are unrelated issues.