Mumsnet Talk

I knew it would be crap but to see it in black and white makes it crapper.

I am not happy.

Crap in what was? Accurate but depressing? Spelling mistakes? Listing things they have concerns about but not raised until now? Evidencing their inability to understand her? Other kids names throughout? No useful information contained in it whatsoever?

Sorry

hugs for you x

crap as in lacks focus, won't engage, no confidence or motivation,won't ask for help, strugles with tasks, reluctant to join in, attendance hindering progress, every single teacher has something negative to say.

up until now she has managed to get past of doing as little as possible but has done ok. but not any more. her grades are all worse than they were last year and she is heading for absolutely bugger all at the end of it all.

This is nothing new. I knew it. but it looks shit on paper.

I have a meeting on thursday.

Ready to be furious on your behalf, but in what way crap?

but primed for

it is so bloody frustrating. she is bright. she could do so much but won't. and no matter how cool i pretend to be or how accepting that right now it doesn't matter and that if and when she wants to do something then she can i am really really pissed off.

Nooooo. It looks GOOD on paper. You get to ask the school what they plan to do about it. What strategies are in place? When you expect improvements and when you will next meet to discuss what has worked or not. You will of course support their work and strategies and you are happy to share your own ideas and what works.

Don't despair!

i have half an hour on thursday. i suspect i will need more time.

Just don't let them make you believe it is your problem to solve. You can support them but you're not there.

i want to cry.

Are you pissed off with her?

partly. if only a good shake would sort it out. but i don't think that would be the best idea.

I send you a quote from The Incredibles when the Mom thinks the Dad is cheating and feels overwhelmed...

Edna: Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show him you remember that he is Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who you are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!
[normal voice]
Edna: And call me when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.

zzzzz: So Pull-yourself-together! "What will you do?" Is this a question? You will show them you remember what they are supposed to provide , and you will remind them who you are. Well, you know where they are . Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!
[normal voice]
zzzzz: And post when you get back, darling. I enjoy our visits.

Chuzzlewit IS Elastagirl!

Sorry to read this. School are clearly not meeting her needs and are failing her.

Have you as yet heard from the LEA?. I thought you made an application for a statement.

Have you applied for a statement then? Are the school supportive? If so, it is why you got a miserable report.

Or perhaps the school did it because they are too cowardly to apply themselves so was to get you fighting for her.

It's proof that school aren't meeting her needs. It will back up your request for SA.

AtYourCervix

What happened if you assumed she wouldn't get her GCSEs or any other qualifications from school?

Would that change what you're doing now?

You can get your GCSEs at any time / any age. There really is no reason to get them at 15.

If my DD was not going to get any GCSEs, I'd rather she didn't sit them, did something she didn't hate (anything) and was happyish, then failed and was miserable.

Indigo - that is what i am trying to tell myself. sanely and firmly.

i will be thrashing them with the blasted report on thursday and pointing out that i will be applying for a statement with or without them. although i still don't know if it will take longer than she has left at school to get the bugger in place.

i am less sad now and more bloody fuming.

oh. and she went today for another WHOLE DAY! HURRAH!

Really good that your DD went in for a full day today! Really hope you do apply for an assessment, the report is going to be good evidence for you.

I hope there is plenty of time to get it sorted as I am in same boat (DS 13) and have applied for assessment and am waiting to hear if they are going ahead.

I think Indigo makes a good comment, going to repeat that to myself often in next few weeks/months.

I took three years over my A levels, retook my maths O level whilst I was at it and did sod all towards my degree until the last semester of the third year. There is time. Apply for a statement. Support her but you can't do it for her. What subjects does she like? I would go for attending those and tutoring for others where/ if you can.

And by tutoring I mean them working with her on specific subjects, own timetable, in the library, whatever it takes. Cut down on the subjects, I only took five but I passed them all A-C, I would have given up if forced to do ten. I just didn't go to the lessons I didn't want to go to from fourteen.

I didn't go to school in my teens. I was always being set on fire or having drawing pins stuck into me. Got no qualifications. Suffered for it but got a good degree regardless and a good job ( until SEN stuff ruined it).