Press on. We got told the same, request premature - what they mean is you have to have evidence of failure at action+ for 6-12 months before they will consider assessing. Which is in effect a blanket policy. We got told the same thing - have to do the graduated approach - drip in support see how he responds etc etc let the nursery collect evidence. We got refused, appealed and they backed down as soon as SEND registered the appeal because to get an assessment you only have to show probably has SEN that need a statement - also they need evidence to show tribunal he def does not need a SA. Given the admin cost to them of going to tribunal they usually just do the assessment than risk turning up and arguing a child does not need SA on whom they have no evidence.
Not having evidence is a reason to do an assessment anyway to satisfy themselves his needs are being met without a statement. Look at IPSEA refusal to assess pack to prepare your arguments - download it on IPSEA website
You don't have to go the graduated approach (Action - action+ - statement route) for young children you can argue severe and complex needs and only a need for one overarching report. You need to find the bit in COP which says young children with severe and complex needs can get SA without having to exhaust the graduated approach. Of course you then get into an argument about what is severe and complex - which is not defined anywhere! The LA told us it meant you had to have a feeding tube (seriously!) which DS did not he 'only had autism so you should expect him to have no speech or social skills' - that did not constitute a significant disability apparently. They also told us he would not get a place at the special school nursery as 'he was not that severe' and basically scaremongered us telling us the kids in the MLD school were virtual vegetables ( nice people we were dealing with).
So it was very funny when we got LA EP assessment as part of SA and he said DS (typical ASD) was 'severe and complex' (Ha!) and that he needed 'daily specialist teaching' (ha ha). DS had not exhausted action plus by this stage, in fact his 1:1 in mainstream had not even started as he was not yet 3. The graduated approach is not designed to force children to fail when they can be placed in more appropriate provision. Of course the LA had drawn their line in the sand by this point and refused to follow the EP advice so it took another year to get to tribunal (during which DS had fulltime 1:1 TA in mainstream and learnt nothing) until we got the daily specialist teaching
So just ignore them. Assume it will be refused and appeal. Even if it goes to tribunal that will be months after you submit the appeal and you will have loads of evidence by then. When you submit the appeal ask for a direction that it be expedited because you need the SA to be completed by Jan / time is of the essence as young child etc etc
The truth is you just need one report to get a statement for a young child and that could be by the EP who just rang you. If that EP saw your child and did a report that would be all that was needed.
We applied for statement at 2.7, got refused at 2.9, appealed and they backed down at 2.10. SA completed and statement issued 3.2. Appealed that for an appropriate statement and got to tribunal at 3.11. So as you can see you can't afford to lose an extra 6 months.
Also if you get a statement you will not go through the usual school admission process so if you get a statement after Jan you can still name any school even if they are full as statemented children are not part of usual admissions.
You are keeping a diary of when the SEN teacher fails to turn up I hope? Write down everything. Who comes, when, how long they stay, what they do, whether effective etc
Many LAs will only do something when they have a tribunal deadline, they are highly unlikely to take you to a tribunal without an EP seeing your child - who would they take as a witness???
How does this EP know if your child needs a special school place or not when they have not seen your child? What a stupid argument. They would have a hard time arguing PDA is within the expertise of a typical pre school care assistant and can be met from the usual resources of a pre school